We've had the scream sneeze, I give you the scream cough!

[MajesticallyAwkward]

What fresh hell is this?!

DH is a renowned drama queen with even the smallest of illness, has a cough half of the year. I swear it's become a hobby. Admittedly this one is unpleasant, the toddler was patient zero and was off colour for about 5 days- 6yo came down next and was a bit off for 2 days then dh started complaining about feeling it.

Last night I was in bed, with the very awake toddler, at 2am and dh was downstairs so as not to wake us all.... and that's when the scream cough appeared.

He's not a quiet cougher anyway but this is a new level. It's like he stepped on Lego barefoot and a cough just happens to be at the end.

Discussed this morning and he has no recollection of the incidents and I'm exaggerating because I'm sensitive to face noise 😒

Am I alone in this hellscape of scream coughs?

Obviously IABU, but I can't be alone.

That gave me a good laugh op. My dh is the opposite, pretends to not be sick. My dm on the other hand is the biggest drama queen, so I can imagine exactly what you're saying.

Sympathy for you… DH is the same at the moment. Toddler and I were mildly unwell last week, DH has struggled to get out of bed all weekend and is still looking miserable today. No scream-coughing but a lot of performative nose-blowing, and there’s a sort of shrine on the dining table made from tissue boxes, bottles of Night Nurse, Strepsils, lateral flow test boxes and those microwaveable heat bag things.

Side note have you done covid tests? The cough is unreal with covid for a lot of people. What is face noise? Never heard that expression before ! I'd just tell him to shut up every time. What a weird thing to do!

My husband does something like this when
he is trying to clear his throat . It's like he tightens his vocal cords and coughs. I find it irrationally irritating, I have literally never heard another human do this. He is not exactly a hypochondriac but if he has a cold I will get updates through the day and for the duration of the cold on just how bad he feels, if his sinuses are affected or not, whether he has a fever or chills. It's very tedious.

Does your DH get heartburn a lot? That can cause a lot of coughing/throat clearing if he has GERD.

I'm sure my DH would sympathise as apparently I sound like a performing seal when I cough. Unfortunately I have a persistent cough which makes it worse!

@TotallySuper yes Covid negative, tested all of them as symptoms appeared.

'Face noise' is a term I use for noises that come from the face area... coughing, sneezing, chewing, general grotting.

@Councilworker oh god the updates! We're down from every 15 minutes to roughly hourly now. It's hard to know what is genuine and what's dramatic effect, he gets heartburn but a) has a terrible diet and b) acts like he's dying, arm flailing, heavy sighs and wimpering.

He just did it again. I can't be held responsible for my actions.