Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

Is Boss unreasonable?

23 replies

Sozzlebozzle · 03/10/2021 21:19

Maybe I’m being sensitive…. I’m a huge animal lover and strongly support animal rights. My boss has a hobby which they talk about and mention several times a day involving killing animals. It really upsets me and they think it’s so bloody wonderful and guffaw indulgently at the fact they do this sport. Constantly dropping it in to conversation in the office. I honestly think they think it makes them seem upwardly mobile. I don’t think I can listen to it anymore as I just strongly disagree with it and think it should be banned. At the very least I don’t need to hear or want to hear about it. Wibu to tell them to put a sock in it?

OP posts:

Noogar · 03/10/2021 21:20

I think even if you hated animals it would still get annoying.

BrendaBubbles · 03/10/2021 21:23

YANBU. This is how I feel on the thread about the sexuality day at someone’s office too. No one wants to know about your hobbies, what people you fancy or anything else like that. He should wind his neck in

smallybells · 03/10/2021 21:23

I think YABU to tell them what they can and can't talk about in the office.

You might not like it / agree with it, but unless they're describing in minute detail the intricacies of killing animals in a way that is inappropriate then you need to just put up with it really.

Dogknowsbest · 03/10/2021 21:25

Are they doing it to wind you up?

Anotherlovelybitofsquirrel · 03/10/2021 21:26

What is the " hobby"

ShowMeTheSugar · 03/10/2021 21:26

Is it fishing?

I get why you might not like their comments but suspect there is little you can do about it other than telling them you are not interested in hearing about it.

Blueeilidh · 03/10/2021 21:27

Yanbu but it also sounds like they don't care what you think so you should probably be better either keeping quiet or quitting

WeatherwaxOn · 03/10/2021 21:28

I am vegetarian. Have been for many years. In my first job, one of my colleagues was an ex-butcher. He used to come and sit by my workstation and tell me about butchering pigs, sheep, etc. specifically because he knew I was veggie.

YourFinestPantaloons · 03/10/2021 21:28

Are you vegan OP? And is it hunting or fishing?

Original poster

Sozzlebozzle · 03/10/2021 21:30

Fox hunting and shooting deer and birds

OP posts:

Noogar · 03/10/2021 21:31

Do you have to sort of relationship where you can tell him he's boring everyone?

madisonbridges · 03/10/2021 21:33

There's nothing insensitive about not wanting to hear something that offends you, even if it's not illegal. Speak to them and tell them how upsetting it is and ask if they could stop talking about it in front of you. If they were talking about real life gruesome murders, maybe of children, they would not be breaking the law, but I reckon most people on here would find listening to it offensive and upsetting and request that they desist. It makes you feel uncomfortable in a similar way and you shouldn't be forced to listen to things that are upsetting whilst you are more or less a captive auduence.

smallybells · 03/10/2021 21:44

@Sozzlebozzle

Fox hunting and shooting deer and birds

Fox hunting is illegal. He won't be doing that. Do you mean drag hunting?

Hunting is a way of life for some rural communities, and although it is an emotive topic for many people - as long as he isn't being too descriptive I don't see an issue with it personally! I have to listen to loads of crap at work I don't like / care about, part of the fun of working with people.

OhWhatFuckeryIsThisNow · 03/10/2021 21:53

Fox hunting is illegal. He won't be doing that. Do you mean drag hunting? I bet he will be. Fox hunters round here don’t give two shits about the law.
I’m betting he’s noticed you getting upset and he’s the type of man who gets a kick out of your discomfort. My daughter had classmates who did the same. Grey rock, they got bored.

SpidersAreShitheads · 03/10/2021 22:01

I really, really hate fox hunting and also any other killing for sport/fun. It makes my blood boil. I'm near the Cotswolds so I've bumped into the local hunt on Boxing Day a couple of times and they are entitled, arrogant wankers. As a PP said, the legality of it doesn't seem to bother them.

However, I don't think you can tell your boss what he can and can't talk about. I think the suggestion of grey rock is perfect while you look for another job.

Original poster

Sozzlebozzle · 03/10/2021 22:15

I think he just thinks it makes him look wealthy and well connected when really it just shows him up for the spineless, arrogant and cruel specimen he is. I think I will probably have to mention it if he doesn’t stop.

OP posts:

Wazzzzzzzup · 03/10/2021 22:24

I wouldn't have an issue with the deer and bird hunting. Food.

Wazzzzzzzup · 03/10/2021 22:25

How are they sliding it into convo number of times a day every day? That's some skill

HarrietSchulenberg · 03/10/2021 22:26

"Fox hunting is illegal. He won't be doing that".

Errr, I think you mean, "Fox hunting is illegal but he probably IS doing that as it's still going on under the guise of drag hunting". My local hunt goes out twice a week with no pretence of laying a trail. They most definitely are hunting foxes with hounds and police resources are too stretched to do much about it.

OP, if you don't want to confront him you could try yawning conspicuously every time he mentions it and turn around to do something else.

Vieve1325 · 03/10/2021 22:45

Just be honest and tell him you’re not comfortable with it. If he’s decent he’ll just shut his trap around you. If he doesn’t, you could then escalate it as a deliberate attempt to make you uncomfortable.

I hunt (trail, within the law) and it’s a big big part of my life from September through to March. But I also understand some of my colleagues don’t understand or agree with it, so I leave it out of conversation. Even if they ask ‘what are you up to at the weekend.’ I’ll just say ‘oh we’re out fence hopping again! Fingers crossed the ground is nice and the rain stays off.’

Cerebelle · 04/10/2021 08:26

YANBU about the fox hunting. Wankers.

YmightBU about the deer and bird shooting as it's actually one of the most ethical and environmentally friendly ways of eating meat. If you are vegetarian I can see why it would irk you but if you eat meat, it's almost certainly from a worse background.

Also NBU to be annoyed at performative Hooray Henry bollocks.

Bagamoyo1 · 04/10/2021 08:32

Challenge them every time. Tell them you think blood sports are disgusting. Tell them it’s pitiful that they consider it enjoyable to kill other living things. It won’t change their minds, and they may argue back, but it might make it less fun for them to talk about it. And maybe they’ll talk about it less.
Also, you could talk about your periods. Men hate that.

Wazzzzzzzup · 04/10/2021 08:39

@Bagamoyo1

Challenge them every time. Tell them you think blood sports are disgusting. Tell them it’s pitiful that they consider it enjoyable to kill other living things. It won’t change their minds, and they may argue back, but it might make it less fun for them to talk about it. And maybe they’ll talk about it less. Also, you could talk about your periods. Men hate that.

Very few things get you p45 faster than saying to the boss you find their hobby pitiful and disgusting...

This is not some random OP is talking about.

Flip

Swipe left for the next trending thread