Dps late mother for example, was supposedly his 'world' and 'best person' yet he would rarely call her or visit her. When she became terminally ill I asked if he wanted to move nearer, he didnt. The frequency of his calls and visits didnt increase at all. He never remembered her birthday etc.
His sister has just been seriously ill and he was upset about the idea of losing her. After an operation I asked him if she needed help, whether her dh had time off work etc. Dp shrugged and had no idea. His attitude was one of 'why on earth would you think Id know that?' Yet, supposedly, they are closer than anything.
A friend of mine was similar with his best friend. Went on about how they were like brothers and hed known him all his life etc but when best friend's marriage was breaking down all he could do was complain about and try to evade best friend as he 'kept going on about his marriage'.
It just surprises and annoys me how there is no link between the way they talk and the way they behave. They dont demonstrate love and support to the people they say they love most. It doesnt even cross their mind. Is it laziness? Selfishness? I could never be like it. If I love someone, especially if they're in crisis, I move mountains to help. I can remember at dps mother's funeral where he did the eulogy, thinking how hypocritical it sounded.
Is it possible to really love someone and not get off your arse to help them YABU or they are annoyingly hypocritical YANBU