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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cut this visit short?

17 replies

WandaLust101 · 30/07/2021 01:30

I’m currently visiting a friend and she has a house cat that hasn’t been neutered. It’s been urinating all over her house and the smell is awful. I think she’s gotten used to it because although she’s mentioned that her cat is doing this, she doesn’t seem all that bothered by it - whereas I’m finding the smell really unpleasant and overpowering.

I’ve suggested that she keep the cat confined to a small room with a litter tray and it’s food and water bowls to help train it, but apart from that I haven’t really said anything, as I don’t want to be rude.

I’m here for one more night and I’m honestly really struggling with it. As soon as you enter the house you can smell it.. and the guest room I’m staying in has a really bad smell too, this cat has clearly been urinating in there and honestly I’m feeling a bit like maybe it would be best to cut the trip short - I’m due to leave tomorrow but I hate the idea of being rude and upsetting her by leaving today instead.

Does anyone have any tips on what to do?? I think I should probably stick it out and try to point out that she needs to get her cat trained to use it’s litter tray properly?

YANBU - leave early
YABU - it’s just one more night, stay until the end of your visit

OP posts:

alexdgr8 · 30/07/2021 01:37

why stay.
it's not your job to train her cat.
just say you are leaving.
no need to be unpleasant.
if she asks, say you don't like the smell of the cat. or its habits.
but its not your cat or house, so its not your business.
so you just leave. you look after you.
looking after you is your business. not hers.
looking after the cat is her business, not yours.
meet her on neutral ground next time if wished.
end of. go.

Xmassprout · 30/07/2021 01:37

Honestly, if my house smelt of cat piss and I wasn't noticing it, I would want a friend to tell me. It would be upsetting to hear, but I think friends should be able to be truthful with each other when it's not being done to be malicious.

I think I would try and raise it gently

Original poster

WandaLust101 · 30/07/2021 02:11

Yeah you’re right. I will definitely say something. Just feels awkward to pack up and leave early

OP posts:

milkyaqua · 30/07/2021 02:19

Male cat piss leaves a really acrid stench. I couldn't stand it. It is rather impolite of her to host you in house that is effectively a litter tray, if that makes you feel any better about possibly being impolite for leaving for this reason!

avamiah · 30/07/2021 02:28

Omg that is a terrible smell if he hasn’t been neutered ,surely she knows this ?
She can get the cat neutered for Free if she can’t afford to pay for it,

Original poster

WandaLust101 · 30/07/2021 02:43

I honestly think she’s oblivious to how bad the smell is, she has mentioned it a few times but doesn’t seem all that embarrassed or bothered about it

OP posts:

violetbunny · 30/07/2021 02:56

The biggest issue is not that it isn't trained, it's that it isn't neutered.

I would have no issue in telling someone how completely irresponsible it is not to neuter their pet. I volunteer for a cat rescue and could tell you some heartbreaking stories about unwanted cats.

Frannibananni · 30/07/2021 02:57

I couldn’t stay another night, sorry.

avamiah · 30/07/2021 03:00

The problem is that male cats spray if they haven’t been neutered and the smell is horrendous, I know as I have 3 male cats.lol

You have to tell her straight about the smell and to make a appointment at the vet.

milkyaqua · 30/07/2021 03:01

@WandaLust101

I honestly think she’s oblivious to how bad the smell is, she has mentioned it a few times but doesn’t seem all that embarrassed or bothered about it

Well, when you say, The stench is so bad I can't stay another night, so sorry, she will know!

She also seems oblivious to the fact her male cat is unneutered, which is really socially irresponsible.

avamiah · 30/07/2021 03:09

Yes, a male cat has to be neutered otherwise it will just go out roaming looking for a mate and will end up going to far from home and be starving and eventually get killed by a car or die of starvation.
Very sad .

Original poster

WandaLust101 · 30/07/2021 16:21

Just to clarify, it’s a female cat, not a male cat. It’s also a house cat, and can’t go outside. We live outside the UK and in this country, a cat must be vaccinated before it can be neutered, so I think she has to finish getting all the jabs done before she can book the cat in to be neutered.

I left this morning. There are some issues surrounding travel and Covid where we are so it made sense to leave early anyway - but I will definitely raise the cat issue next time I speak to her.

Thanks everyone for your replies, they were very helpful!

OP posts:

violetbunny · 01/08/2021 01:01

Urinating outside it's box can also be a sign of stress.

Cats can also be fussy about litter trays. If it's an indoor only cat, it may need a second box. The trays should also be kept clean.

Mymapuddlington · 01/08/2021 01:05

I’ve had unspayed female cats and they’ve never peed everywhere. I assumed you meant a male cat spraying but for a cat to just urinate everywhere is weird in my experience.
I would go home and explain why, it can be so damaging to your health.

Buzzinwithbez · 01/08/2021 04:08

It's very possible the car has a UTI if he's spraying everywhere.

Aquamarine1029 · 01/08/2021 04:28

I am amazed you were able to spend more than minutes in her house. I certainly wouldn't have been able to.

Mymapuddlington · 01/08/2021 10:34

@Buzzinwithbez I thought that but it’s a female cat

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