Lately DD (12) has been unbelievably rude. She's also incredibly messy. Her bedroom is a pigsty most of the time. I get her to tidy it before she has any priveledges but it's back to a mess the next day. In the rest of the house she leaves a trail of empty wrappers, plates, cups etc and has to be told to clear them up every day, which results in her shouting and screaming.
Today I went out early, came back with the intention of taking her out this afternoon as her older sister is away, to walk friend's dog and get a coffee somewhere. I walked in the house at 11am, I said well done for making herself a cooked breakfast then told her to put her breakfast stuff away/clear up her mess. She was lounging around in her pj's on her phone. After 10 mins she didn't move so I took her phone off her, she shouted that she hated me and wish I was dead! Then threw a cushion at me. She doesn't usually say such awful things but can't seem to be away from her phone for any length of time. She says being away from it makes her anxious. She's now stormed off to her room and I've confiscated her phone for the rest of the day. She can be sweet and usually when we go out together she's fine. I just don't know what to do now. She won't talk to me if I try and ask what's wrong. I was hoping for a nice afternoon together