Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Having my wedding 3 weeks before my sisters?

242 replies

username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:16

NC obviously very outing.

got engaged last summer, a month later my sister got engaged too (to her partner she’d been split up from a couple of months before so hers came a bit out of nowhere). I found out I was pregnant a few days after my engagement and my sister knew, at the time felt a bit awkward as she literally got engaged the day of my first baby scan which was a bit Hmm but I didn’t say anything because if she’s happy then fine. I’m not big on being the center of attention anyway.

My cousin had a wedding planned for June 22, sister wanted the same date but changed hers to a month after. So has done exactly the same to someone else that she’s mad at me for. Cousin has cancelled her wedding anyway but point is how can she think it’s okay for her to do this but if i do i’m awful?

I mentioned to her yesterday I was going to book my wedding soon and was aiming for end of may/june 22 as then my baby will ideally be weaned and not breastfeeding 24/7. it’s important to me that i get married then because it was always my aim and she knew that. i’ve said for ages i wanted to get married as soon as i finished my degree (may 2022). this isn’t a surprise.

she didn’t say much yesterday and just sent a gif from the movie bride wars so i thought she was being a bit sarcastic but she didn’t say anything else. then today sent her a message with the date and she’s kicking off as if i haven’t made her aware already of when i wanted my wedding? saying i stole her limelight when she literally took over my own engagement/baby news with her engagement to a partner of like 3 months? Confused

our weddings will be completely different. mine is low-key with 40/50 people. hers is a big do with 150. i’m not looking to outdo her, i couldn’t care less about anything fancy. i’m not even sure that i’m going to be getting a dress. all i want is to be married, i’m still happy to be her bridesmaid and plan her hen do etc etc literally all i’m having is a registry office and hiring a nice bar for the evening.

i’d understand if i hadn’t told her but i had, it’s not really my fault that she can’t tell me how she feels until i’ve paid and booked my ceremony.

OP posts:
RosieGuacamosie · 02/07/2021 20:44

no i mean i literally told her my venue and date plans while at a meal with her and she messaged me days later saying she had booked the exact venue and summer 22. it wasn’t a vague conversation. don’t see how this wouldn’t also feel like a kick in the teeth to people commenting

If that’s genuinely what happened then I can see why you’re a bit annoyed. I still don’t think you should have booked it so close before hers. You already have a baby so what’s the rush? Perhaps she wants to be married before TTC?

Original poster
username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:45

@caringcarer

I feel sorry for your parents. They will have the month from hell with 2 bridezillas to deal with. Can't you consider your parents and guests and put it back a couple of months or forward a couple of months? Be the bigger person. If I was invited to both weddings I might just decline both invites as would mean 2 new outfits for whole family.
not going to be a bridezilla mine is literally a registry office followed by private hire bar it’s not exactly fancy with loads to plan
OP posts:
Twelvetimestwo · 02/07/2021 20:45

How old are you both?

Mummyoflittledragon · 02/07/2021 20:45

So if your wedding is low key, wouldn’t it be better to have it after? That way the overlapping guests can recycle their outfits and you won’t be upset. Whereas it sounds like your sister will be.

You definitely haven’t thought about a lot of the implications for your sister. Same as she didn’t see how getting engaged the same day as your baby scan.

And newsflash (again), announcing an engagement the same day as a scan really isn’t a thing.

GrettaGreen · 02/07/2021 20:46

Well surely if you're both getting married locally where noone is going to be put out by travel costs etc then there wouldn't have been many choices of venue to begin with.

AnotherDayAnotherCake · 02/07/2021 20:47

Are you older OP? Just asking because you sound desperate to do everything first.

RaspberryRoyale88 · 02/07/2021 20:47

I think YABU!

You seem really pissed off that your sister announced her engagement the day of your baby scan. And in the nicest way possible that’s only a big deal to the perspective parents.

It also wouldn’t bother me about the venues. My sibling got married in the same venue I did, I couldn’t care less!

3Britnee · 02/07/2021 20:48

Tell her you're booking all kinds of awful shit, so she does too, and then have your nice classy wedding 3 weeks before her 😂

Fullofglee · 02/07/2021 20:48

The more you post the worse you sound. Thankgod I only have one dd.

Original poster
username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:49

@AnotherDayAnotherCake

Are you older OP? Just asking because you sound desperate to do everything first.
no i’m younger and that’s part of the reason why i think she felt the need to hop in and get engaged
OP posts:
Fullofglee · 02/07/2021 20:50

You need to grow up.

MimiSunshine · 02/07/2021 20:50

If you’re planning a registry office and bar for your wedding why don’t you just do it this year?

SecretSpAD · 02/07/2021 20:50

If you're that keen to get married and don't want a big do, just a registry office,mt hen why not pop down there at any point in the next year and just get married?

Unless, of course, it's you who wants to piss your sister off and not the other way around?

Original poster
username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:50

@RaspberryRoyale88

I think YABU!

You seem really pissed off that your sister announced her engagement the day of your baby scan. And in the nicest way possible that’s only a big deal to the perspective parents.

It also wouldn’t bother me about the venues. My sibling got married in the same venue I did, I couldn’t care less!

maybe i haven’t explained properly - i posted my baby scan as my announcement to family. she then sends a pic with a bit of STRING around her finger and says she’s engaged. please don’t try to say that’s not limelight thieving in itself
OP posts:
Original poster
username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:51

@MimiSunshine

If you’re planning a registry office and bar for your wedding why don’t you just do it this year?
i actually would like to. it’s my partner who is keen on june
OP posts:
HavelockVetinari · 02/07/2021 20:52

@BlueSurfer

You sound very competitive. I think you’d both be happier in life if you weren’t trying to be one up on each other.
This.
myrtleWilson · 02/07/2021 20:52

But I thought you wanted to finish your degree and have the baby weaned so thats why June 22 was your preferred choice...

Fullofglee · 02/07/2021 20:53

Changing the story again op to suit your agenda.

MsHedgehog · 02/07/2021 20:53

@Fullofglee

The more you post the worse you sound. Thankgod I only have one dd.
This. I think you should stop posting. You sound very very petty and spiteful. Would love to hear your sister’s version of this!
Seesawmummadaw · 02/07/2021 20:53

I’m on team sister.

You’ll look back in a few years and realise how ridiculous this is hopefully

Fullofglee · 02/07/2021 20:54

myrtleWilson

But I thought you wanted to finish your degree and have the baby weaned so thats why June 22 was your preferred choice

Shes changing the story to suit.

Original poster
username2479 · 02/07/2021 20:54

@myrtleWilson

But I thought you wanted to finish your degree and have the baby weaned so thats why June 22 was your preferred choice...
well yes ideally but i’d do it sooner if it was such a huge deal to her. i explained my reasoning to her and she said nothing negative so i thought she wasn’t fussed until i paid and booked it
OP posts:
MsHedgehog · 02/07/2021 20:54

@myrtleWilson

But I thought you wanted to finish your degree and have the baby weaned so thats why June 22 was your preferred choice...
And is your dream venue a bar, seeing as that’s what you’ve gone for?
Newkitchen123 · 02/07/2021 20:54

So she wants a fancy one you don't yet it's the same venue?
Didn't make sense to me

getmetothebeachplease · 02/07/2021 20:54

I personally agree with you. She sound competitive and really annoying. I have seen similar issues with family members and the competitiveness gets ridiculous. She's obviously annoyed that you are the younger sibling yet doing everything before her. If ignore her and go ahead with your wedding as planned