I didn’t know I had a great grandma and she’s just died

[Peridotty]

My dad just messaged me telling me my great grandma had just died at 102. I didn’t even know I had one. He never told me about her. Aibu to feel quite angry that I never got to meet her? I’m in my mid 30s. I always assumed I never had great grandparents and they’d all died before I was born.

Yes I would be upset too. No doubt your DP had good reasons for keeping it secret

YANBU to feel aggrieved about not knowing. I think it’s a bit odd that you’ve gone 30-odd year without ever asking your Dad about his grandmother though - I’m surprised it’s not come up.

He didn’t have any good reason. He just doesn’t ‘do’ family. Doesn’t keep in contact with his siblings or his mum.

He just said ‘yeah you have one. She looked after me when I was a child. She lives in X village.’

That's a bit off. Did she know about you do you know?

I find it odd that it's never come up before now, tbh.

I wouldn't grieve a relationship with her, though - you don't know what reasons he had for not maintaining contact.

I don’t get on that well with my dad so things like this don’t come up. I just assumed I didn’t have great grandparents. He is autistic and has some learning difficulties.

Strange he told you now. If you're upset about not knowing her you could track down the relatives you have who are still alive but prepare to be disappointed.

shame but still a chance to find out more about her.

Ask your dad for more facts. Sounds like she was important in his early life.