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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
Worstyear2020 · 31/05/2021 17:30

I have seen behaviour like this, she obviously want to be part of it but not able to the same way, therefore she can be part of it with different purpose. All the guys are just too nice to say no, probably not too bothered neither?

You sound quite bothered, is she quite attractive? Smile

Guavafish · 31/05/2021 17:30

She is probably involved with one of the cyclists. If she is attractive and makes the muffins they will let her into their club.

montysma1 · 31/05/2021 17:30

Well she didn't HAVE to cook anything for anybody. Given that she was doing it anyway, one extra didn't make much difference.

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:30

@JustLyra

She's on their WhatsApp group. That means someone specifically added her.

I often roll my eyes at how quickly people jump to assumptions on here, but a woman that my husband sees every weekend and who behaves in funny/strange ways (and therefore is a likely talking point) never coming up in conversation, not even once in passing, in years would ring alarm bells for me.

It probably would for me normally, but in this case, I'd be annoyed only because I wouldn't have known about it to go and see for myself and laugh my fucking bum off.
WonkyCactus · 31/05/2021 17:30

Yeah OP, get hold of your DH's phone and remove her from the WhatsApp group. Problem solved!

randomkey123 · 31/05/2021 17:31

She's shagging one of them.

Hopefully not your DH.

Mumoblue · 31/05/2021 17:33

It would be so easy for them to make a new Whatsapp or tell this woman to go away. They’re either all collectively wet blankets or they’re loving it.
I’m side eyeing your husband pretty hard that he didn’t tell you about this, as he clearly knew she’d turn up. Maybe I’ve got a suspicious mind (I definitely do) but this is bloody weird.

WeLovePeaSoup · 31/05/2021 17:34

@covetingthepreciousthings I didn’t know what it’s mean either and I have one of those at home 😁
I can totally believe that middle age man doesn’t know how to get rid of a woman. My DH wouldn’t know where to start it as I’m sure he would think she is in the group.
Do you think anything is going to be done about her? Any of these man are single by any chance?

LH1987 · 31/05/2021 17:34

It’s a bit weird he didn’t mention this to you, I mean it is clearly a crazy thing to do why wouldn’t he say it?!

QioiioiioQ · 31/05/2021 17:34

I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both?
she's clearly trying to pull and with her lack of self awareness and normal social skills things could get complicated when she realises they are not interested

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:36

She doesn't need to follow all of them waving pom poms to shag one of them, much less go to their houses for lunch. That's just stupid, on both parts. Married men who are having affairs usually prefer to keep some distance.

It honestly sounds to me as if she is just fulfilling a fantasy of being a sexy cheerleader or grid girl, hence the need to make it public and visible.

TheChiefJo · 31/05/2021 17:36

Watching the fuck out of this thread.

ApolloandDaphne · 31/05/2021 17:37

That is hilarious. It is made more funny by the fact the cycling guys are blind to why she is there.

Blankspace101 · 31/05/2021 17:37

Cycling Send-Off Woman.

She sounds more like the bicycle pump to me!

OrangePowder · 31/05/2021 17:37

Yes, imagine having someone this weird/interesting/funny meet your group every weekend and have never once mentioned it to your partner.

I don't think, for a minute, you have the full story here OP.

BadNomad · 31/05/2021 17:37

Your husband and his friends are assholes. They're leading this woman on, letting her think she's an honoury part of the team, while behind her back they're laughing at her and calling her crazy.

TillyTopper · 31/05/2021 17:42

I think this either isn't true, or there is something else behind it and she's shagging one or some of them. Of course a group of grown men can lose her - just delete her off the whatsapp and block her. Job done.

Maireas · 31/05/2021 17:42

@DrSbaitso - "grid girl" 😂😂😂

LouHotel · 31/05/2021 17:42

This women now knows where you live due to your husband being a dumbass at best or at worst he got his kicks from having his groupie running around him at the same time as his wife.

I can't believe your finding this 'dopiness' endearing or slighty expasarating.

Your served a women clearing coming on to your DH lunch!

MrsMiddleMother · 31/05/2021 17:43

Honestly don't see the problem with it and don't know why you're so bothered. A woman has tried to join a cycling team, everyone begins somewhere and she clearly wants company. They meet up at the same place and she's in the chat so they obviously don't object to her. She has every right and Honestly the only thing you should be annoyed about is the fact YOUR husband chose to hide the fact she's part of the group.

RaskolnikovsGarret · 31/05/2021 17:43

I feel really sorry for her for some reason. She sounds lonely. Sad I must be having a sense of humour failure, as I think I’m in the minority.

MzHz · 31/05/2021 17:45

Your h and his mates are fucking idiots

They need to set up another WhatsApp without her, just out banal crap on the one she’s on, and change cafes

Failing that, someone needs to say to her that she’s not a member of the cycling club and needs to stop following the riders.

fearfulfran · 31/05/2021 17:46

Why wouldn't she knock on arrival? Why wait in the driveway?

Why would he not have mentioned this completely ridiculous situation before?!

So many questions. You need to do some digging on this woman. Gently though, she might actually be mentally ill. Did she seem so in other ways?

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 17:47

DH knows loads if people from all over the place though this cycling. I really don’t think he is shagging this woman because he would hardly bring her to the house if he was. Also, she is absolutely mad. I don’t think any of them have a thing with her. But he is a total dimwit and this annoys me actually. It hasn’t occurred to him as to what her agenda is. They are all married. Where they always meet is a very busy cafe and there loads if cycling types there, so she just shows up and has tagged on. She is no more a cyclist than I am. Imagine now, she has bought a Zwift (Swift)? Peloton type bike and is claiming she can’t set it up and needs one of them to go over. It was so awkward when she said this, they all just looked at their phones. I found her very annoying, but they are all just muppets basically. If there was some random man who turned up at my running club with cakes, I would be under no delusions. Now she’s claiming to want boxing training and is using her son fgs. I said to him, if she is interested in boxing, I am the Pope. He says he has no intention of having her in the place, he discontinued even remember her asking, and it’s not that type of club anyway. But she did ask as I heard her with my own ears. He says she won’t come and she just says things because she must be lonely and want to join clubs. Yeah right. Every month or so they “take turns” end up at one of their houses for lunch, but obviously this hasn’t been happening for a while. This is annoying enough for me, to be honest, without this woman. It makes me wonder if they have any sense. They go all round the world on bikes and sometimes there are women on the rides, but none remotely like this.

OP posts:
Moonwhite · 31/05/2021 17:47

How did she meet them? If she's in their whatsapp group at least one of them is encouraging her.

I'm wondering if the group embarrassment is because she turned up at your lunch and they weren't expecting that, a two worlds colliding kind of thing. Not saying anything sleazy is going on but maybe they enjoy the attention and feeling like cycling rockstars with their very own cheerleader.

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