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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
Sparklingbrook · 31/05/2021 16:45

I can't think of any words to write. WTF will have to do I guess.

rattlemehearties · 31/05/2021 16:48

I don't understand why you let her into your house/garden?

BulbasaurusRex · 31/05/2021 16:48

How does she know where they’re meeting and what time?

Thedogscollar · 31/05/2021 16:50

Omg OP you sound at the end of your tether.

She sounds like she just enjoys the company but I agree a very strange group to join then not actually cycle. Is she on the look out for a partner maybe and thought she would find one at this club.

Why are the men all so dumb? Can't they speak up and say something to her?
It all sounds ridiculous and she sounds very rude.

ACPC · 31/05/2021 16:51

Thread of the dayGrin

funnylittlefloozie · 31/05/2021 16:51

Perhaps they should just stop telling her where they are going to meet, and meet somewhere different. Of course, this won't work of one of the group is shagging her on the quiet, which is how she mysteriously feels like "part of the club" and always seems to know things like where they are all going for lunch, etc.

Babynamechange1bn · 31/05/2021 16:51

How bizarre. I’d probably just laugh it off though. It’s their problem and if they don’t want her hanging around every week they’ll need to say something to her.
I’d be more annoyed at being expected to provide lunch for the cycling crew. Next time maybe send them all to her house instead Grin

ACPC · 31/05/2021 16:51

PomPom Zilla

,

Babynamechange1bn · 31/05/2021 16:52

Sorry OP, I really can’t stop laughing at the idea of a cycling club having a middle aged, pom-pom waving groupie 😂😂

scottgirl · 31/05/2021 16:54

Awesome thread!

DeadGood · 31/05/2021 16:54

“Is she on the look out for a partner maybe and thought she would find one at this club.”

... you think???

MinorCharacter · 31/05/2021 16:54

Honestly, OP, I think it’s just as odd an all-male cycling team appears to think their wives have nothing better to do than make lunch for eight people by turns in their free time.

I mean, this woman sounds deeply odd, but if she’s committed enough to get up at the crack of dawn at the weekend and wave pom-poms in tiny shorts at a bunch of MAMILS, then I confess I slightly admire her commitment. Are they deeply fanciable? Or is she just terribly lonely or something?

WonkyCactus · 31/05/2021 16:54

Sorry OP, but that's hilarious. Grin
I hope the cycling send-off woman runs off with someone else's DH and not yours!

Sparklesocks · 31/05/2021 16:55

Clearly they can’t object to her too much or they’d tell her to leave, or would stop sharing meeting points etc.
Also your DH should be making lunch for them really!

parietal · 31/05/2021 16:55

how does she know where to meet? send her to the wrong place next time.

MinorCharacter · 31/05/2021 16:56

@funnylittlefloozie

Perhaps they should just stop telling her where they are going to meet, and meet somewhere different. Of course, this won't work of one of the group is shagging her on the quiet, which is how she mysteriously feels like "part of the club" and always seems to know things like where they are all going for lunch, etc.
And yes, this too. How does she know where they meet, what the route is, and what sap is providing lunch unless someone tells her?
matchingsocks · 31/05/2021 16:56

Aww! I feel quite sorry for her poor deluded heart. GrinGrinGrin pomegranate poms and streamers though Grin

matchingsocks · 31/05/2021 16:57

Sorry pompoms! No pomegranates that we are aware of yet!

Querencia · 31/05/2021 16:57

How did she find out your address to turn up for lunch? Surely someone gave it to her as you said she arrived first. When she asked where lunch was going to be and asked for the address, that was the the time for the men to all grow a pair and say she's not invited as she's not actually part of the cycling team.

Instead of awkward silences one of the men should speak up.

I think the men are secretly flattered and are enjoying the attention and pom pom waving send offs! Grin

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/05/2021 16:57

🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn't have let her in my house but what a story!

Palavah · 31/05/2021 16:59

How did she know where you live?

CarlottaValdez · 31/05/2021 16:59

Ugh at the wives taking turns to do the lunch. She’s obviously shagging one of them.

Thedogscollar · 31/05/2021 16:59

@DeadGood

“Is she on the look out for a partner maybe and thought she would find one at this club.”

... you think???

Yep on reflection she is on a man huntGrin
BaronessBomburst · 31/05/2021 17:00

That is hilarious and tragic in equal measure.
And they haven't tried to get rid of her either, have they?
Shame on them.

Seeingadistance · 31/05/2021 17:01

Ha ha ha!

This has really cheered me up!

Can we get a video of her waving her pom-poms at them? Please!

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