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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 31/05/2021 17:02

Ooh! A MAMIL groupie.

Out running club has one, a bloke. He turns up at the Sunday run meets, waves them all off and then joins them for breakfast... sort of off to one side, close but not quite with.

Nobody is quite sure who he is but he has cheered them off at 7am on Sunday for as long as many can remember. He was back for their first post lockdown run.

Serin · 31/05/2021 17:02

She sounds like the female equivalent of Boris Grin

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 17:02

I can’t believe he hasn’t mentioned this woman before. She turns up at 7am every Sunday and has got on the WhatsApp. He is such a dope sometimes. He seems to think she’s interested in the cycling and is building up to joining them and they can’t really exclude her just because she’s female, but overall, they don’t know why she comes as she only tried to join them once. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike but she keeps saying she’s going to get one. He just thinks she’s odd and none of them really know what to think. But I said to him, no woman would show up with muffins at 7am if she didn’t fancy one of them or perhaps several of them. DH said, “Why would she fancy us?” He is so dim sometimes, he really is.

OP posts:
Stickytreacle · 31/05/2021 17:02

Just ask if she's paid her subs, something extortionateif not can she kindly leave. It takes all sorts doesn't it? Confused

MoiraNotRuby · 31/05/2021 17:03

I mean clearly she has issues so the grown up thing to do is someone have a kind conversation with her letting her know she is not in the group.

However another part of me thinks you should join her for the send off ceremony, but make sure your pom poms are bigger than hers. Get a t shirt printed with your husband's face on. And music. And flags on your car.

GintyMcGinty · 31/05/2021 17:03

Lol. How extraordinary.

They are grown men, though so its their problem to deal with. Or not.

Seeingadistance · 31/05/2021 17:04

To be honest, I don’t know why she’d fancy a MAMIL either.

Maybe she used to have one, got shot of him, and enjoys embarrassing other ones now - for fun!

Seeingadistance · 31/05/2021 17:04

@MoiraNotRuby

I mean clearly she has issues so the grown up thing to do is someone have a kind conversation with her letting her know she is not in the group.

However another part of me thinks you should join her for the send off ceremony, but make sure your pom poms are bigger than hers. Get a t shirt printed with your husband's face on. And music. And flags on your car.

Grin
PicaK · 31/05/2021 17:06

She's mentally ill. That's really tragic.
She's def not a sister or cousin?
I'm not sure how I'd handle it but I'm not impressed with them for not mentioning it.

newnortherner111 · 31/05/2021 17:07

I cannot imagine Dave Brailsford would put up with someone like that, and neither should your DH and his fellow cyclists.

YANBU to think that this is bizarre.

Mellonsprite · 31/05/2021 17:07

Lol, I would have had to say something ‘So who are you, and what’s your connection to the cycling group??!’ Then a surprised face.
She must be shagging one of them, otherwise it’s an absolutely shameful way of trying to meet a man.

Billben · 31/05/2021 17:07

@ACPC

PomPom Zilla

,

👏👏👏😂😂😂
BramStoker · 31/05/2021 17:08

It sounds like your DH isn't being completely honest with you

At least 1 of the group of men is feeding her information about meet ups, routes etc to allow her to continue following them

Yes it is a very odd way to choose to spend your weekend but no more strange than spectating any sport I suppose

It wouldn't be difficult to get rid of her if they wanted to so it appears that they must enjoy her company and attention to some extent

sirfredfredgeorge · 31/05/2021 17:08

My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes

I imagine the "team" has been meeting at this café for the last 30 years and has dozens of people meeting there, it's not exactly easy to change such meeting points - there aren't even that many places you can meet in such large groups. And it's hardly surprising they're large groups given every mumsnetter's over 40 year old DH is a MAMIL.

The cooking lunch thing also seems as unusual as the pom-pom woman!

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:09

Enjoy it, most people have to pay for that kind of comedy.

Wheresmybiscuit3 · 31/05/2021 17:09

I don’t even know where to start except to say she’s obviously involved with one of them

BobLemon · 31/05/2021 17:10

WHAT?

So... she doesn’t actually know any of them?

icelollycraving · 31/05/2021 17:11

Someone is telling her where they all meet. Is someone secretly shagging her? Imagine the bed rattling with pom-poms and streamers Grin

UhtredRagnarson · 31/05/2021 17:11

Oh there is sooo much more to this story! I guarantee it.

And why “as if” to her bringing her son to a boxing club? Confused

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 17:11

They are quite serious cyclists and very boring about it, to be honest. DH doesn’t even know if she’s single. He said, “I can’t ask her that as she might think I’m coming on to her.” Confused Well, why entertain it at all then? They could easily meet somewhere else, but oh no, apparently they hadn’t thought of this and it’s too much hassle. Now she knows where he lives because she just assumes to join in the plans and the chat. They are all quite local and so is she! Great. I swear to god, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.

OP posts:
Sunbird24 · 31/05/2021 17:12

In my head, reading that, she looks like Marina from Last of the Summer Wine…

Maireas · 31/05/2021 17:13

How did she find out where you live? Confused

doodlejump1980 · 31/05/2021 17:14

This is hilarious!

UhtredRagnarson · 31/05/2021 17:14

@BramStoker

It sounds like your DH isn't being completely honest with you

At least 1 of the group of men is feeding her information about meet ups, routes etc to allow her to continue following them

Yes it is a very odd way to choose to spend your weekend but no more strange than spectating any sport I suppose

It wouldn't be difficult to get rid of her if they wanted to so it appears that they must enjoy her company and attention to some extent

This.
FourTeaFallOut · 31/05/2021 17:14

Maybe she drew the short straw and was charged with doing a undercover documentary on mamil culture but she fucking hates cycling so she invented the crazy lady send off party????

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