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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?

813 replies

4cats4kids · 31/05/2021 16:41

Sorry if this sounds petty, but the most terrible woman came to my house yesterday and I still can’t believe the audacity of her. My husband is in a cycling training team and one of the things they do is meet at 7am on a Sunday morning at a cafe and then they go off out of London on their various routes. This has been going on years and they are basically cycling round the world in stages (as part of a larger group).

So apparently, this weekend was “our turn” to do lunch for this lot - a.k.a “my turn” (but don’t worry, I will not be making a habit of it). I was expecting about 8 who are all men, but this atrocious woman turned up in a sports car before them and was sitting on the drive waiting until they came. I thought she must be something to do with nextdoor (shared driveway), but when they showed up on the bikes she came in with them.

My husband was kind of mouthing, “sorry” to me and they all looked embarrassed. Then he tells me, he’s really sorry, but this is “the cycling send-off woman” Confused and today she has followed them in the car. So basically, I have since found out that this nut job of a woman seems to think she is in the cycling team and turns up at the crack of dawn when they meet and in all weathers, though she never actually cycles with them. Apparently, she always says she will join them one day, but never does. She doesn’t even have the right kind of bike, her bike is apparently more a shopping bike with streamers on the handlebars like a 4 year-old! Once she did cycle with them, but only for about a mile as she couldn’t keep up. She wears really short shorts and brings them all muffins and god knows what apparently at 7am Hmm. DH says they never eat them. Also, she waves pom-poms when they leave. I couldn’t believe it. I asked my husband why he’s never mentioned her before and I said it’s fairly obvious why she’s showing up. He just said they don’t know why she comes and they all think she’s mad. On this day, she had driven to some other cafe where they stop in Surrey because it was a nice day and she fancied the drive. Then she took it upon herself to turn up for lunch because she thinks she’s in the cycling club!

She is like something from Ab Fab and really loud. They were in the garden and there I was, backwards and forwards, while she was going on about how she’s just bought a Zwift, but she can’t seem to get it set up, so could any of them come over to her house and set it up for her (nobody offered and it was very awkward). I also heard her tell my husband (loudly) that she’d really like to bring her son to his boxing club and maybe he could he train them both? It was so very strange. As if! Also, she wasn’t exactly making an effort to talk to me. How rude. I have never come across a woman like this in my life. She is late 40s - who behaves like this?

AIBU to be annoyed that this happened at all? My husband has apologised but seems to think it’s a joke. He doesn’t get it at all. These men are late 40s and collectively, should be able to get rid of this lunatic. He says it’s a public cafe and there’s lots of people there and they can’t really stop her. Well, just find a different place to meet then!

OP posts:
DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:14

I really want to see a video of her waving the poms poms as the MAMILs all set off.

itsgettingwierd · 31/05/2021 17:15

What a bunch of saps 🤣🤣🤣

I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or be concerned about them not seeing through this transparent tag along with pom poms

ticktockriojaoclock · 31/05/2021 17:15

She sounds odd for sure, but if the group had an issue with her being involved surely they would say something. Its really strange that your husband never mentioned her previously though. Maybe they all appreciate her short shorts too much! She didn't get herself onto the WhatsApp, one of the group has added her.

AntiSocialDistancer · 31/05/2021 17:15

@BulbasaurusRex

How does she know where they’re meeting and what time?
I get the impression she is his bit on the side and she was trying to really push him.

Did he seem very sweaty and uncomfortable and horribly relieved after she left?

His story sounds ridiculously elaborate and a woman with that nice set up and a child sounds far too busy to spend her weekends being a cyclist cheerleader.

Your husband is either profoundly disgusting or she is considerably mentally disturbed.

RIPwalter · 31/05/2021 17:17

When I was a teenager I used to race mountain bikes at national level. There was a girl (sibling of a male rider) who was like a teenage girl version of your cycling-send-off-women. She didn't barely ride at all let alone race, but liked to hang out, dress and behave like the elite riders.

Anyway she ended up together with one of the elite guys and 20 years later they are still together, and married with kids.

I found it a bit weird at the time, but I guess it was within the realms of acceptable behaviour for a teenager, and it clearly worked out for her. However, a 40 year old behaving the same way is just desperate, weird and awkward.

RedToothBrush · 31/05/2021 17:17

I think I would just ask her straight:

"So which one are you shagging / stalking?"

Result is she is unlikely to turn up at your house again...

UhtredRagnarson · 31/05/2021 17:17

@itsgettingwierd

What a bunch of saps 🤣🤣🤣

I don't know whether to feel sorry for them or be concerned about them not seeing through this transparent tag along with pom poms

Are you kidding me? They are loving whatever it is she is doing. Men have no problem getting away from women they have no interest in.

People are being very naive here.

Beefcurtains79 · 31/05/2021 17:18

How did she find out where you live? And someone invited her on the WhatsApp group.
Are you sure that you are being told the truth here?

HideousKinky · 31/05/2021 17:18

This has reminded me of a novel I read last year "The Motion of the Body Through Space" by Lionel Shriver in which the main character's husband becomes a running fanatic and she finds herself having to put up with his running group including a truly awful woman, Bambi (actually a runner herself) who treats her with contempt. It's funny and very well written and I recommend it!

UhtredRagnarson · 31/05/2021 17:19

I get the impression she is his bit on the side and she was trying to really push him.

Did he seem very sweaty and uncomfortable and horribly relieved after she left?

His story sounds ridiculously elaborate and a woman with that nice set up and a child sounds far too busy to spend her weekends being a cyclist cheerleader.

Your husband is either profoundly disgusting or she is considerably mentally disturbed.

Yep. Hubby dearest has spun Op a load of guff.

Mydogmylife · 31/05/2021 17:19

Desperate to find out what'll happen next Sunday!!!

2bazookas · 31/05/2021 17:19

She arrived first. So WHO told her your address ? Who told her you were making lunch?

How the hell can your husband have forgotten to mention her.. for years?

I would have asked her to leave.

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:19

@4cats4kids

They are quite serious cyclists and very boring about it, to be honest. DH doesn’t even know if she’s single. He said, “I can’t ask her that as she might think I’m coming on to her.” Confused Well, why entertain it at all then? They could easily meet somewhere else, but oh no, apparently they hadn’t thought of this and it’s too much hassle. Now she knows where he lives because she just assumes to join in the plans and the chat. They are all quite local and so is she! Great. I swear to god, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
To be fair, if I were in a cycling club and some loony turned up at 7am every time, dressed up, to serve us muffins and wave pom poms, I wouldn't discourage it either.
Elderflower14 · 31/05/2021 17:19

@Sunbird24

In my head, reading that, she looks like Marina from Last of the Summer Wine…
😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
The “Cycling Send-Off Woman.” What the hell?
eatsleepread · 31/05/2021 17:20

She's clearly not the full shilling, but I'm not quite sure I understand your venom, OP.
You need to look at that.

BigFatPasty · 31/05/2021 17:20

How does she know where you live, where they were meeting and when? Hmm

AntiSocialDistancer · 31/05/2021 17:20

🤣

PuppyMonkey · 31/05/2021 17:20

I mean she’s got herself on the WhatsApp chat so clearly that’s how she knows where they’re meeting? I don’t believe that none of the men are eating her muffins for a start.Grin

BigHeadBertha · 31/05/2021 17:21

Am I the only one whose BS detector was set off here?

It seems like this woman is more than a loony pest they all ignore, because someone is repeatedly telling her where they're meeting. Also, if she's such a hilarious spectacle, you'd think she would have come up in your daily conversation before now?

So, it seems she may be looking for a boyfriend? Are the other men married? If so, do their wives know about her? Would they like some male cheerleader/camp follower joining their wives' club when he didn't do the activity, looking sexy and asking for personal favors, or if their wives didn't think to mention it to them?

User629202 · 31/05/2021 17:21

Absolutely wetting myself at the vision of a group of saggy MAMILs having a fiesty cheerleader in a sports car Grin

CarlottaValdez · 31/05/2021 17:21

She arrived first. So WHO told her your address ? Who told her you were making lunch?

She’s on their WhatsApp group - it will have been on there presumably.

VodselForDinner · 31/05/2021 17:22

There’s obviously something in it for her.

I do wonder what’s in it for you, though. Having to have lunch for 8 grown men prepared by 7am on a Sunday morning sounds like insanity. Why are you doing this?

There are two women being made fools of here, it’s not just Pom Pom Patsy.

Maireas · 31/05/2021 17:22

"my muffins bring all the MAMILS to the yard"

RedToothBrush · 31/05/2021 17:23

@4cats4kids

They are quite serious cyclists and very boring about it, to be honest. DH doesn’t even know if she’s single. He said, “I can’t ask her that as she might think I’m coming on to her.” Confused Well, why entertain it at all then? They could easily meet somewhere else, but oh no, apparently they hadn’t thought of this and it’s too much hassle. Now she knows where he lives because she just assumes to join in the plans and the chat. They are all quite local and so is she! Great. I swear to god, I’ve never seen anything like it in my life.
Yes he can.

"Oi! So which one of us is it, you fancy, so we can warn the unlucky bugger"

"Oi! So what the heck do you tell your husband about where you are?"

"Oi! Piss off loon."

There are many many ways to rip the piss out of this woman.

He is either cowardly, has no brain cells or loves the attention. Or a combo of these.

I personally would go in hard ball if it was my DH or she was this weird in my presence.

DrSbaitso · 31/05/2021 17:23

@Maireas

"my muffins bring all the MAMILS to the yard"
🤣🤣🤣
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