“Superhero dads & Mums who did some weeding”

[MrsJamieFraser22]

I don’t think I am being unreasonable but am minded to submit a complaint to the local council about a weekly update from our primary school & would appreciate some views. My 2 DD go to the local primary which is primarily staffed by women. As with I am sure every school in the country there are constant requests for parents to help out with improvements to the grounds. So last weekend a group of parents turned up at the school to hep out. I have just seen the weekly update email from the head mistress stating the “superhero dads had laid slabs & the mums had done some weeding” am so disappointed female educators still peddling this misogynistic crap belittling the mums efforts and making the dads out to be superior? AIBU to complain about this?

If I were a member of staff at that school, I'd be pointing out to the head that she had probably thinned her ranks of potential volunteers considerably in one fell, tactless swoop.
Don't know about the council; maybe an anonymous leak to to local paper...........

At my kids primary it was a tradition for some parents mostly dads to put up the Christmas decorations. Treated like the second coming in the newsletter - dads named checked fawned over. Us tedious mums doing literally all the pta drudge work ignored. In my next life I’m definitely being a man!

Reminds me of when my DD used to go to Brownies and the message was repeatedly 'girls can be anything'.

Perfect, I agree.

The brownie pack had a parent helper rota that fell on a Monday night - which is a night that I often, but not always, worked due to rota.

On the nights I turned up as parent helper I was put to work making hot chocolate or manning a craft table.

The night DH turned up for duty he was told, 'oh, Dads don't help, go and sit in the corner on your side phone.'

Still fuming

I'd definitely bring it up.

Yeah that’s ridiculous. Weeding can be hideous. Complain.

You are totally right! I volunteered once at DCs school to do some tidying up in the school garden. Dads were put to work cutting branches off of trees and weeding. Mums were sent to pick up sticks and pine cones for a school project the kids would be doing. It was the most tedious two hours, and I decided I wouldn’t be helping with gardening again.

If the slab laying was really taxing and arduous (and hence much harder than the weeding) then I don't think it's ridiculously bad to say this. I guess it's coming from a place where they're hoping to encourage more men to join and help since its primarily women volunteering. Not the right way perhaps to do this though since they might be annoying women.

That doesn't send good signals for the next time they need helpers! We had that here a few years ago: the school was so desperate to get dads involved that they laid on free monthly Saturday morning activities with a full English breakfast for the dads and children. The mums going to Friday morning activities every week paid £1 for the privilege and got a cup of squash and a biscuit

The dads can help out with anything the school needs in future then, they’re ‘superheroes’ after all so it won’t be a problem, no need for the ‘ordinary mums’ to get involved. Good result.

If it was all men that laid the slabs and all women that did the weeding then it's just a factual statement.

That's not the same as asking for men to do the groundwork and women to do the weeding......

There is nothing factual about “superhero”.

As superhero skills go it's kind of niche isn't it?

"And now ... the new addition to the Marvel universe ... SLAB MAN. That's right kids! He lays slabs!!!"

Ywnbu at all to bring it up. I hate this kind of fawning. Men get plenty of validation anyway: we don't need to worship them for doing very ordinary things.

Well I did 3 hours of weeding (in between old paving slabs) yesterday and it nearly killed me! My dh used a power shearer to trim bushes and he reckon he had the harder job. Told him we're swapping jobs next time!
How they've phrased this is very condescending!

YWBU to 'submit a complaint to the council'.

YWNBU to go into Reception at the school and highlight how offensive you find the newsletter.

@user1471517900

If the slab laying was really taxing and arduous (and hence much harder than the weeding) then I don't think it's ridiculously bad to say this. I guess it's coming from a place where they're hoping to encourage more men to join and help since its primarily women volunteering. Not the right way perhaps to do this though since they might be annoying women.

Having just moved a few surplus paving slabs to the bottom of the garden I can honestly say it's far more taxing and arduous thatn weeding!

"And now ... the new addition to the Marvel universe ... SLAB MAN. That's right kids! He lays slabs!!!" oh that's cheered me up after a rotten day. Thank you!

I agree OP, please complain

I had a go at a local organisation I belong to which requested men for gardening/general clearance work and women to clean the clubhouse and toilets.

Weeding is also fucking arduous and boring to boot. It ruins your hands and nails and is really hard on the back and /or knees.
Gloves are useless if you're trying to grasp smaller weeds and you get stung by nettles and scratched by thorns.
You end up hot, tired, dirty , bleeding and bad-tempered.

Give it to them with both barrels.