Partner going against me in front of kids

[melj22]

So my partner keeps going against me in front of the kids. For example dinner tonight, we had been implementing over past few nights that our 4yr old needed to eat some of his vegetables before he could have pudding, we had agreed on this and we're implementing it together. Then tonight when he had a guest in the house at the table my partner told our son after I had said he needed to eat some of his vegetables to have pudding that he didn't have to and that he could still have his pudding, I tried to argue my point, I got upset, my son got upset and my partner still gave him his pudding without getting him to eat his vegetables. I have spoken a month or so ago to my partner about doing things like this and that I was struggling to parent with him. Am I being unreasonable that I want to leave him because of this behaviour? I feel like he is ruining our children 😣

It seems extreme to want to leave him over this but I guess there's more of a backstory?
How often does he undermine you?
How is he as a husband?

It has been going on quite frequently since our oldest was born, so 4 years, I just feel like I'm always working against him on everything - parenting, finances, lifestyle... But the going against me in front of the kids is just really doing my head in, it's confusing and upsetting for the kids just as much as it is for me, and it's creating issues that are starting to spread into other environments like preschool

It sounds like there's a major lack of respect for you there.
Have you sat down with him and told him how big of an impact his actions are having on you and the children?

Is there a part where a) he doesn't want a scene in front of guests and b) he doesn't want to be the bad guy?
Very frustrating for you.