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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To worry my 13 year old DS is quite immature (but still lovely)

35 replies

Urbanhymngirl · 16/05/2021 19:39

My 13.5 year old DS seems less mature than his mates- he hasn’t hit puberty yet though! He still calls me Mumma, still wants to sleep in the same room as me from time to time, still has a Teddy at night & at home still holds my hand. He’s completely lovely and obviously I don’t want him to grow up fast but I do worry he’s quite immature compared to his mates!
He also games, goes out skateboarding etc and does stuff by himself too.

Aibu to worry or should I just let him mature at his own pace? He said the other day that he always wanted to live either with me or near me! Bless him! Trying to balance it all!

OP posts:
Original poster
Urbanhymngirl · 16/05/2021 19:40

He also still sits on my knee!

OP posts:
Theunamedcat · 16/05/2021 19:41

Mine is nearly 13 and currently sleeping on my bed

ContinuousMonotoneBeep · 16/05/2021 19:42

He's only 13. He will eventually change. And it'll happen quick.

JadedStrumpet · 16/05/2021 19:42

He sounds lovely. I hope my DS still holds my hand sometimes when he's 13.

I'm 42 and I still sleep with the stuffed toy dog I've had for 40 years!

Original poster
Urbanhymngirl · 16/05/2021 19:42

@Theunamedcat thats reassuring actually! My DS still does it too!

OP posts:
Original poster
Urbanhymngirl · 16/05/2021 19:44

Maybe I should stop worrying and just make the most of it!

OP posts:
Aspiringmatriarch · 16/05/2021 19:44

That's so sweet. My DS is only 8 but I can imagine him being a bit like this. I think once puberty kicks in with a vengeance there's likely to be a swift change!

Insertfunnyname · 16/05/2021 19:46

Don’t wish this time away. It’ll change soon, and fast. Please don’t worry - he sounds a lovely boy.

Everythingsr0sie · 16/05/2021 19:46

Oh bless him.

DS1 was pretty similar at 13, now at 15 he is a massive, mature bloke! He is still the loveliest, sweetest boy, but definitely matured very quickly - it was almost like a switch went on on his 14th Birthday!

PugInTheHouse · 16/05/2021 19:48

Hmm, it's quite sweet really however I think if he seems considerably younger especially in front of friends then I would maybe encourage age appropriate behaviour however what you describe is just how he is at home so maybe hes not actually like that when out with his mates.

My DS2 13 can be like that, hasn't gone through puberty yet either but on the other hand is really independent when it comes to making plans with friends and going out, he actually seems like one of the more mature ones even though some of them sound like men. He doesnt ever ask to sleep in with us anymore but probably did till about 10/11 (usually when DH was away). He doesn't sit on my knee either as he's the same size as me now Grin

PugInTheHouse · 16/05/2021 19:49

I agree with other posters though, if it's not causing a problem for him then enjoy it while it lasts.

Theunamedcat · 16/05/2021 19:49

He is getting almost as tall as me grabbed my hand to cross the road the other day infront of some school friends I covered it by saying I wasn't going to step out dont fuss they now think I'm incompetent at crossing the roads (he does have a bit of a point i usually end up stood in the middle 😅) he is just starting puberty but way behind his peers i hope he stays sweet for awhile yet

suspiria777 · 16/05/2021 19:50

His mates could very well act the same -- they're hardly going to broadcast it, though. Your kid sounds sweet and totally fine developmentally.

Moonshine11 · 16/05/2021 19:51

He sounds lovely!
Enjoy it op, there’ll be a quick change once puberty comes! Take it all while you can!

SillyBub · 16/05/2021 19:52

My DS is 13 (14 in October) and there's zero signs of puberty (unlike his 10yo sister who is powering through puberty like it's a race). I'm still Mummy, he still chats to me and he's such a sweet little boy.

His friends tower over him, they smell, they're hairy and their voices have broken. It's very strange to think this will be my boy any time now. I'm treasuring every second!

MaudFloatingOverTheBackyard · 16/05/2021 19:57

My younger brother is 13– my mum wishes he was like yours. He is almost 6ft tall, stinky, thinks he’s king of the world, and a handful to say the least. I say enjoy it!

Mowzy · 16/05/2021 19:58

37 here and still sleep with my bear I got when I was 5!

shouldistop · 16/05/2021 20:01

If he's only like that at home then I don't think there's anything to worry about. Other kids pick up on things and if he was acting very immaturely at school then someone would have said something nasty by now unfortunately.

I just kissed my 4yo and 6mo boys good night. My 4yo said he wanted to live with me forever and ever and marry me when he is a grown up Thanks I hope he still loves me as much when he's 13!

Original poster
Urbanhymngirl · 16/05/2021 20:04

@shouldistop my 13 year old still says it to me!! Funnily enough, I think he might end up living near me when he’s a grown up- he’s a bit of a homebody! We want to go travelling as a family in a few years and DS currently doesn’t like the thought of not being at home!!

OP posts:
NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 16/05/2021 20:25

My youngest ds always seemed younger than his peers, he has just turned 20 and still asks for cuddles , there is even a soft toy on his bed still.
He is very independant in every other way. He entered puberty late and now is over 6' tall and towers over his friends.

Enjoy your son as he is.

Hankunamatata · 16/05/2021 20:27

Dc13 has hit puberty but he still enjoys a snuggle on the sofa, cuddle and has his bed buried in pokemon teddies.

hopeishere · 16/05/2021 20:28

It's so lovely to read these. My 13 year old has also not hit puberty and me and his dad were a bit worried. Glad he's not the only one.

PleaseReferToMeAsBritneySpears · 16/05/2021 20:29

@Urbanhymngirl

He also still sits on my knee!

My DS 13.5 still gets into my bed, has soft toys on his bed, snuggles up to watch a movie but has most definitely gone through puberty and at 5ft 9in, size 11 feet and 13 stone, I draw the line at him sitting on my knee 😂

LuaDipa · 16/05/2021 20:37

My ds was like this at 13, it was lovely. But then all of a sudden he grew up. He still calls me mummy sometimes, but only because he knows I like it, which is quite sweet, but also feels a bit like he’s throwing me a bone!! Enjoy it while it lasts, if it’s anything like my son it will change overnight.

Rupertpenrysmistress · 16/05/2021 20:38

My 12 year old ds is very much the same, calls me mumma to 😁. He holds my hand says he loves me, tells me I look beautiful etc. I too worry about him but he games and has friends. He is so different to my 13 year old DD. It is reassuring to hear that others are the same. I wonder if I have done something but he is just very caring he does get easily upset at times which, really frustrates my dd .