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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL and catsitting duties!

60 replies

pearlsandpetals · 12/05/2021 19:06

Hi all,
So basically MIL is going away for a full weekend next week. She has several cats and has asked if we would sleep at her house for the weekend to watch them. We have said that we wouldn't mind at all to pop in each day and make sure the cats are fed, litter box is emptied and to check they are okay, but MIL has asked if we would stay and sleep there from Fri to Sun because she worries about them. I feel awful but I'm currently pregnant and so tired lately and I feel like I need my own bed. Am I being unreasonable?

OP posts:
Quickchangeartiste · 12/05/2021 19:10

The cats will be fine.
You are certainly not unreasonable to pop in and check up but otherwise sleep in your own bed..

Original poster
pearlsandpetals · 12/05/2021 19:14

@Quickchangeartiste Thank you!

OP posts:
TidyDancer · 12/05/2021 19:18

YANBU. Popping in is fine. If someone staying is warranted though, could your DH not go alone?

Quickchangeartiste · 12/05/2021 19:18

You are very welcome - but, full disclosure , I’m a dog person 😁

Aquamarine1029 · 12/05/2021 19:21

I have 5 cats myself, and I can say with all honesty that your MIL is bonkers. Do not pander to this madness because it will lead to other issues with her.

TwoAndAnOnion · 12/05/2021 19:30

The cats will be fine - tell her to put the radio on if she's worried and get some timer switches for a couple of lamps!

Rose789 · 12/05/2021 19:31

Send your husband to stay there?

SnarkyBag · 12/05/2021 19:31

Popping in is fine no need to sleep over

LutherRalph1 · 12/05/2021 19:33

It's not advised to change litter trays whilst pregnant

Selttan · 12/05/2021 19:34

It's not unreasonable to say that but she may be better getting a pet sitter.

I've two cats and they've never been left alone overnight so when I went away I had someone staying with them.

minniemomo · 12/05/2021 19:40

If she's local, popping in twice a day is fine. The advantage of cats over dogs. No need to tell mil, she won't even know

ColintheCrow · 12/05/2021 19:52

4 cats, if I'm away they get checked on. Huge bowl of water and food... they're fine.

toocold54 · 12/05/2021 19:56

I’m a proper cat lover but even I think this is extreme. They definitely don’t need you there all day and night.
If it’s going to put her mind at rest though is it better to say you will stay the night but then don’t?

HermioneWeasley · 12/05/2021 19:58

She’s batshit. She can’t go away if she’s this worried about them

mnahmnah · 12/05/2021 19:59

Pregnant plus litter trays, not ok!

CarrieBlue · 12/05/2021 20:02

If you’re pregnant you shouldn’t be changing litter trays.

And the beauty of cats is that you don’t have to be there with them all the time. You might as well have a dog if you’re going to insist someone sleeps over with them. MiL is unreasonable.

Quitelikeacatslife · 12/05/2021 20:06

I'd probably want someone to go twice a day but sleeping there is daft. Unless you send OH and you get whole bed to yourself. Unreasonable from her

waitingpatientlyforspring · 12/05/2021 20:09

We have two cats and when we go away our neighbours pop in twice a day to feed them. They don't need more than that.

TheLovleyChebbyMcGee · 12/05/2021 20:10

Its fine to change litter and be pregnant!! You just have to be extra careful. I'm pregnant and change my cats litter, I just wear disposable gloves and scrub my hands after. Even if I wasn't pregnant I still wear gloves and scrub my hands because I don't want to ingest even the smallest amount of cat poo.

That said, they are my cats and I love them so put up with their shit, you should get you DH to change the litter for his own mum's cats. When you pop by to feed them. She's being batshit to expect that kind of service!

The cats won't give a shit if yoh are there or not!

Justanticipating · 12/05/2021 20:11

Just to echo what others have said about the litter trays, very dangerous. I tried to keep some distance from my cats whilst pregnant or had to wash my hands thoroughly, so staying over isn't practical.

We have 2 indoor cats and having them checked in twice a day is fine, with a 30 minute or so visit to play (but wouldn't go away more than 2- 3 days this way)

Megan2018 · 12/05/2021 20:13

She’s not unreasonable to ask, you are not unreasonable to say no.
We don’t leave ours alone but we don’t insist family stay either.

Aprilwasverywet · 12/05/2021 20:15

Promise her you will go about 7pm and read them a story. ..

amylou8 · 12/05/2021 20:30

The cats will not turn feral without constant company for a few days. You MIL is being daft. She should be sensible like me and rig the house up with WiFi cameras. That way you can watch their little fluffy paws even when you're not home 🙄🙄🤣🐱

MrsTerryPratchett · 12/05/2021 20:34

DH can have a sleepover in his old room Grin

Shmithecat2 · 12/05/2021 20:37

Christ, give over with the pearl clutching about litter trays when pregnant. Of course you can scoop litter trays when pregnant, just wash your hands and don't eat cat shit, it's pretty simple. I managed it when I had 11 indoors cats and pregnant.