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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dog trouble

28 replies

Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:03

I was walking my well behaved dog on the park today, with my nearly 70 year old dad, who walks with a stick.

A dog bounded up to us and jumped up at my dad quite enthusiastically. My dad had paw marks all over the back of his coat. My dad waved his stick at the dog and told it to go away.

Anyway, walking back to the car I saw the owner of this dog, now on the lead. I told her what had happened and she said she hadn't seen the incident. I said my dad struggles a bit with his balance, so he was worried about her dog jumping up. I asked her how old the dog was but by now she'd stuck her head into her car and was obviously ignoring me. Her son answered that the dog was six months. I wasn't going to be ignored so, I carried on talking. I suggested, very politely, that she should put the dog on a long lead, which would give her more control over it.

By this time, her friend had caught up and she waded in with the conversation. I started telling her what happened, but she spoke over me, saying they'd all seen what had happened and that my dad had hit the dog. I explained that this was far from the truth and anyway they were so far away they couldn't have seen properly what happened. I feel pretty sure that the owner would have mentioned me hitting her dog, if this had actually happened. As it was, she'd already denied seeing anything.

The friend went on to say that it was fine for the dog to behave like a puppy, because it's a puppy. I explained about my dad and she said that my dad shouldn't be on the park then.

I said that the park is for everyone not just dogs. I repeated the idea that a long lead would give more control over the dog but she said she didn't agree and I'd made a mountain out of a molehill.

The owner of the dog told me I'd been rude to her and slammed her car door and drove off. I really wasn't rude. I was extremely careful to be polite.

Thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:04

*My dad hitting the dog.

OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/04/2021 16:08

I mean, you're right that the dog should be under control, but what did you want to achieve by confronting her like that in front of your child?

Aprilshowersandhail · 09/04/2021 16:09

Some people are just entitled twats...
If you see her again ask her to leash up her ddog. Ring the non emergency number if she refuses.. An elderly man should not be left to feel vulnerable by an off lead out of control ddog. Nor anyone really. It is an offence so act on it.

Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:10

I was extremely polite to her. My reason for mentioning the incident, was so that the owner could be aware of her dog's behaviour. I also wanted to point out that long leads give owners more control.

It doesn't seem right that a dog should be out of control like that. I didn't have a child with me, just my dog and my dad.

OP posts:
EverythingRuined · 09/04/2021 16:10

Not sure why you are asking AIBU when you are clearly being very reasonable.
I've been knocked to the ground twice in the last year while out walking. One knocked into the back of my legs and the other the side of my legs. I know how to treat dogs. There was NOTHING I could have done to prevent this. Both time the owners apologised but didn't put their dogs on a lead.

If you can't be sure your dog won't know people over then it should be kept on a lead at all times or only walked in dog walking fields.

Dog owners that think it's ok to risk MY health just so their dogs can be off lead are irresponsible and selfish.

PrivateHall · 09/04/2021 16:11

You lost me with 'I wasn't going to be ignored'. You had made your point, you had no need to keep harassing her.

SnarkyBag · 09/04/2021 16:14

Well she’s a prat who should control her dog better but if she had already disengaged and started to ignore you I don’t think you were ever likely to get a positive outcome continuing on with her son and friend

rawlikesushi · 09/04/2021 16:14

Well she is a dick to be so far away from her puppy that she can't even see an incident that it's involved in.

She's also a dick for not having her puppy on a lead in an area used by others, when it has not yet been trained to stay close.

She's also a dick for not just apologising for all of the above when challenged.

However - you made your point and none of us really like to be lectured or challenged. Just make your point, once, and let them reflect on it at leisure, maybe some of it will sink in.

Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:14

@PrivateHall

You lost me with 'I wasn't going to be ignored'. You had made your point, you had no need to keep harassing her.
No, I hadn't made my point when she stuck her head in the car. I felt, after her dog had harassed my dad, she should have some advice about putting the dog on a long lead and controlling it properly.
OP posts:
Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:16

If my dog had done the same (he never would), I would have been mortified and apologised profusely. I don't understand the attitude some people have these days.

OP posts:
FOJN · 09/04/2021 16:16

Her dog should be on a lead until it's trained to recall, leave other people alone and not jump up. I disagree about a long line because I think they are as much of a trip hazard with an energetic poorly controlled dog as having them off lead.

Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:17

@FOJN

Her dog should be on a lead until it's trained to recall, leave other people alone and not jump up. I disagree about a long line because I think they are as much of a trip hazard with an energetic poorly controlled dog as having them off lead.
That's fair comment. I should probably have said her dog should be on a lead, end of.
OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/04/2021 16:18

No, I hadn't made my point when she stuck her head in the car. I felt, after her dog had harassed my dad, she should have some advice about putting the dog on a long lead and controlling it properly.

But what do you think you would achieve by telling her that?

If she made a genuine mistake (which is easily done, especially if her dog is a pup/teenager), she was probably really embarrassed and potentially quite upset to be called out like that in front of her friend and her son. There are ways to get your point across without embarrassing people and patronising them.

If she's a shit dog owner, your rant will make absolutely no difference to her actions.

Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:20

@sunflowersandbuttercups

No, I hadn't made my point when she stuck her head in the car. I felt, after her dog had harassed my dad, she should have some advice about putting the dog on a long lead and controlling it properly.

But what do you think you would achieve by telling her that?

If she made a genuine mistake (which is easily done, especially if her dog is a pup/teenager), she was probably really embarrassed and potentially quite upset to be called out like that in front of her friend and her son. There are ways to get your point across without embarrassing people and patronising them.

If she's a shit dog owner, your rant will make absolutely no difference to her actions.

Okay, fair enough, I see your point but I didn't rant at her, actually, I was polite.

I don't see either about her making a mistake. The dog was running about quite a distance from them. After it harassed my dad, it was all over the park.

Anyway, what would you have done?

OP posts:
Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 16:21

As for what did I hope to achieve? I'm hoping she may think twice about letting her dog run loose and next time knock someone over.

OP posts:
sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/04/2021 16:23

I wouldn't have said or done anything - nobody got hurt.

If her dog was clearly as out of control as you say, and she was doing nothing about it, why do you think she'd be interested in your opinion?

I don't mean that in a nasty way, but shit dog owners don't care about the impact of their dog on others - so if someone complains at them, they're not going to change their actions as a result of it.

And good owners who make a mistake may well take your advice on board, but maybe she didn't want a confrontation or debate in front of her child.

AnnListersBlister · 09/04/2021 16:23

@FOJN

Her dog should be on a lead until it's trained to recall, leave other people alone and not jump up. I disagree about a long line because I think they are as much of a trip hazard with an energetic poorly controlled dog as having them off lead.
This is basically an impossible task.
MsAdoraBelleDearheartVonLipwig · 09/04/2021 16:26

She’s a shit dog owner. Probably first timer. No idea, entitled and ignorant. A young dog with no recall should absolutely be on a lead. Completely out of her control. If it had knocked your elderly father over she’d be in trouble. Unfortunately these sort of people don’t like to be told and will get defensive and gaslight you that you are somehow at fault for daring to have a problem with their lovely dog. And I say that as a dog owner. One who has taken the time to actually train the dog.

FooFighter99 · 09/04/2021 16:43

@sunflowersandbuttercups

I mean, you're right that the dog should be under control, but what did you want to achieve by confronting her like that in front of your child?
That maybe, just maybe, her dog doesn't have a god given right to be off lead in public when she obviously can't control the bloody thing!
sunflowersandbuttercups · 09/04/2021 16:51

That maybe, just maybe, her dog doesn't have a god given right to be off lead in public when she obviously can't control the bloody thing!

Look - I agree with you - I've said as much upthread.

But generally, shit dog owners who let their dog run riot are not going to give a fuck what a random stranger thinks about them, or says to them.

And if she genuinely made a mistake and lost control of her dog (which happens), then she was probably upset and/or mortified and didn't want to be told off or argued with in front of her child.

I've not once said her behaviour/lack of control was acceptable but confronting strangers in public rarely ever ends the way you want it to!

Tinydinosaur · 09/04/2021 17:02

She's knows how her dog behaves. She doesn't care.

FOJN · 09/04/2021 17:04

AnnListersBlister

This is basically an impossible task.

Not sure I understand, which bit is impossible?

HikeForward · 09/04/2021 17:29

Her dog should have been on a lead both for others safety and it’s own. Being a puppy doesn’t mean it gets to jump up at people.

If puppy had knocked your dad over he could have broken a hip or been seriously injured. Even if he had hit the dog to get it off him I think he’d have been justified!

Dogs jumping up really annoys me. You don’t let them off the lead until they’re trained and reliable! If I’m walking reactive GS (short lead) and a dog bounces into his face he might injure or even kill it. As could many other fearful/reactive dogs or people who see it as a threat.

Suzi888 · 09/04/2021 17:30

YANBU her dog should have been on a lead, she should’ve apologised!

Original poster
Operasinger · 09/04/2021 17:44

@Tinydinosaur

She's knows how her dog behaves. She doesn't care.
I think you make a valid point. I have no idea whether she will care a bit more now someone has pointed out to her that her dog has scared a 70 year old man with a stick.

Her friend didn't think my dad should even be on the park! What's that all about?

OP posts:
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