Reasons i may end up under DH's new patio...

[Brefugee]

For the haters...

WFH and am usually too lazy to move all my things from the dining room table in time for dinner.
There are probably a billion more but i can't remember them right now. I'll be back

I regularly burst out laughing and take the piss out of his computer games. He gets annoyed when he’s taking it seriously

The one last night had a cockney toad and a drunk pig on it, for goodness sake, so I don’t think I’m being unreasonable 😂

DH is a keen (and very talented) miniature and model painter. I've laughed at him so many times for painting sand to look like sand

That, and my habit of getting into bed with my socks on, waiting for my feet to warm up and THEN slipping my socks off and enjoying the feel of the cool sheets on my feet (seriously relaxing), but then forgetting to put them in the laundry the next day so the end of the bed ends up looking like a sock graveyard

I was about to start one of these, I fear I have several!

When I drank tea, I left the bags on the side (usually on a dirty plate) 'to rest'.
I don't screw lids on properly so DH picks stuff up by the lid (clearly his fault) and they spill.
I put his CD cases back randomly rather than in his 'system', even if they have no CD in them.
I haphazardly shove stuff in cupboards so it falls out when he opens them (ditto fridge and freezer).
I don't crush the recycling adequately (or at all) so the bin fills up too quickly.
I leave the sponge in the dirty sink water.
I run taps and flush toilets when he's in the shower which makes the water run cold.

Leaving the bread open

Taking his towel off the radiator to put mine on and not putting his back...

There must be more

Oh. I also feed a pair of foxes out of the bedroom window (first floor flat) and open the window first to call them, then to throw their food out, then to lean out on the windowsill and watch them/coo at them/talk to them/admire their beauty.

It makes the bedroom cold and drives DH mad.

i sit in the corner of the sofa so there isn't an end-table available. I use a big hard-backed cookery book as a kid of table next to me for my cup of tea, phone whatever. And i don't put it away every evening when i go to bed. For some reason it drives him potty. For me, it just saves faffing about taking two cups of tea over, then having to get the book etc etc (or the other way round).
We have Had Words about it several times.

If i have cereal (not often) I use the exact amount of milk i find appropriate and then put the milk bottle back in the fridge. Sometimes there is a miniscule amount of milk in it (yes, i'm really awful in the mornings)

Also mornings he's usually left the house way before i get up. But he's currently WFH every other week and then we get up at the same time. I get up, make us coffee, have my breakfast looking at the newspaper, fb, twitter whatever. I prefer to do this in silence but he keeps talking to me (which is why he's going in the patio) but i get grumpy at him for disturbing my peace (which is why I'm going in the patio)