To think getting a lawyer will make it worse

[Yakkabee]

Just that. Recently separated from my partner. We are trying to agree child custody arrangements between ourselves, amicably. However this is looking unlikely, and it’s already turning nasty. There are safeguarding concerns from my side (drugs, gambling). I want to protect/reach a sensible agreement for my DC but he wants 50/50 custody. He is in a bad position financially and has no home of his own, whereas I own the family home. I’m worried hiring a lawyer will make him more angry and relations even worse.

Can anyone share any wisdom in hindsight of their own custody arrangements?

YABU - hiring a lawyer is a necessary evil and will help sort things out “properly”

YANBU - continue trying to sort this out/reach agreement ourselves

You don’t need a lawyer just yet. Have you tried a family mediator? The court would expect you to attempt it prior to issuing proceedings. Unless there is a good reason not to mediate e.g violence etc

If you go to court the court will likely order you to attempt mediation. IMHO lawyers for family court are a waste of money, but you could consider consulting one for advice. Sending ex letters via a lawyer gets very expensive.

Thanks for your replies. No we haven’t tried mediation yet, thank you I will look into this.

Yeah the money side of it is an issue too, I’d be willing to pay if it was the only way of settling things - but not sure it’s necessary.

I'm going through similar. He went to a lawyer first, we both quickly racked up huge bills, and the letters descended into mud slinging. Months later we are in mediation and finding it much more useful, and way cheaper.

Sorry to hear @bookishtartlet. I suspect our lawyers letters would go the same way. Very expensive way to continue on an argument!