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Original poster

Is it ok to just leave a WhatsApp group because...

37 replies

Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 15:41

The people are actually vile?

I hate WhatsApp groups anyway. Background of this is that I promote a shop in exchange for various benefits and there’s a WhatsApp group for members to discuss things about that and what we’re putting on social media etc.

Except that recently, it’s become clear that these people are a nasty bunch of vipers who are also racists.

In my position would you just leave the group?

OP posts:
TheSpottedZebra · 13/02/2021 15:43

HUH? It's always ok to leave a WhatsApp group, for any/no reason.

But maybe rethink your employment by these racists?

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 15:47

Oh no they Don’t employ me.

What I’m getting at, is should you say you’re leaving?

I’m not happy about the idea of people messaging me about this.

My term ends at the end of March and I shall not be renewing.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 15:47

Sorry I’m not being clear. The real question is, is there a social etiquette?

OP posts:
rosiejaune · 13/02/2021 15:48

Are you the victim of the racism? If not, you should stay and call it out.

garlicwhorl · 13/02/2021 15:55

Why do you care about etiquette or leaving ‘politely’ if they’re a bunch of racist bastards?

Happycat1212 · 13/02/2021 15:57

Just mute it and don’t comment? My sister makes loads of groups and sometimes they people she add just never comment. So just mute it and don’t contribute

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 15:57

@rosiejaune - I have called it out yes. The whole group is white women including me.

Yesterday, I challenged their comments and thinking very robustly. I told them why they are wrong and encouraged them to see why they are wrong.

And I was told ‘we’ll have to agree to differ’ and then that ‘everyone is entitled to their own feelings about it’.

OP posts:
Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 15:59

@garlicwhorl - good point! I think it’s the lady that owns the shop - the only thing she has done wrong is not telling them to bloody stop it. Which I suppose is bad enough.

OP posts:
Followthelarch · 13/02/2021 15:59

Well done for speaking out

ThePlantsitter · 13/02/2021 16:01

If it's promoting a brand I would get in touch with the brand to grass them up for being racist. Otherwise I don't understand what the group is for but that's beside the point. There isn't an etiquette but you can write a message saying 'I'm leaving the group now since I finish soon, good luck all of you' and then leave straight away so there's no room for goodbyes. You can say why if you want but presumably you're not leaving because you're worried about imagining what they'll say when you've gone and there's not much to say about that message.

yeOldeTrout · 13/02/2021 16:12

Just leave & tell us what happens, OP.
It doesn't sound to me like you need to make polite excuses to anyone.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 16:13

I’m going to leave the group. It has taken some time for them to show their true colours. Every single day they are saying nasty things about this woman.

Should I contact the brands that the shop sells do you think?

OP posts:
Merryoldgoat · 13/02/2021 16:16

I find the description of the set up very confusing OP but yes, leave the group and if they are being offensive about someone then let that someone know.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 16:18

It has suddenly occurred to me that the woman who owns the shop should have chosen some people who are BIPOC to represent her. And the fact she hasn’t isn’t a very nice look either.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 13/02/2021 16:20

Should I contact the brands that the shop sells do you think?

I'm not fully understanding the set up here, but if the brands are going to be associated in any way with these people then I think it should be drawn to their attention.

OTOH if this might impact the woman who set up the group rather than the racist fuckers, I'd probably just drop her a message and say "don't know if you're aware but the racist cunts in your WA group have massively put me off and if Big Brand were to find out about it there could be serious consequences to your business"

It may well not have occurred to her that these pricks could negatively impact her business.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 16:20

Sorry I’ll explain again.

There are about 20 people who applied and were chosen to represent this shop. We get heavily discounted stuff, and we post it on Instagram and also Facebook. The group chat was supposed to be so that we can discuss upcoming promotions etc. And agree on what we’re going to do.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 13/02/2021 16:22

I guess you are in the us, aren't you.

You should tell her, preferably with screenshots especially if it's about her

Merryoldgoat · 13/02/2021 16:24

@SugarbabyMilly

Sorry I’ll explain again.

There are about 20 people who applied and were chosen to represent this shop. We get heavily discounted stuff, and we post it on Instagram and also Facebook. The group chat was supposed to be so that we can discuss upcoming promotions etc. And agree on what we’re going to do.

Then yes - tell the owner Everything.
Pbbananabagel · 13/02/2021 16:36

I get what you’re saying, you’re a brand ambassador, a lot of small clothing businesses do this kind of thing. Definitely speak to the owner and ask her what she intends to do about this as it is an incredibly poor reflection on her business. Have you got screen shots of everything?

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 16:45

The owner sees it but presumably doesn’t want to address it.

OP posts:
Cattitudes · 13/02/2021 16:46

Yes tell the owner but if you want to leave without a fuss wait until Tuesday and say you are giving up this group social media for lent.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 13/02/2021 16:50

@SugarbabyMilly

The owner sees it but presumably doesn’t want to address it.
Maybe she is worried about them leaving shotty reviews all over interentet if she calls them out on it. It's a hard choice sometimes. Hopefully she just won't keep them when the time to renew comes
Pbbananabagel · 13/02/2021 17:19

In that case just send her a message and let her know you can’t associate with these people any further. No reason for you to subject yourself to that kind of bike any more.

Original poster
Anon778833 · 13/02/2021 17:19

Well I had decided to finish after this term ends because I think it’s fair to let other people have a chance.

OP posts:
StoneofDestiny · 13/02/2021 17:37

I've not fully u dears todo this either. If you are saying a whole bunch of racists are on line 'representing or promoting' a brand in some way.
I'd leave and tell the brand. If the brand don't stop it, they are culpable.
If the brand don't stop the racist attacks on line - I'd leak it to the press - take screenshots. That will kill the brand.