To wish I was 15 again

[Btvs]

I seem to be experiencing a form of extreme nostalgia relating to mild depression I suspect.

I don’t know if it’s due to the monotony or the lack of excitement in life right now but I find myself remembering myself at 15 (I’m 39) and how everyday was full of feeling and excitement.

I was in the midst of my first love, had lots of friends who I shared all my hours with talking and giggling on the phone, fridays would be sneaking off up town to pubs and clubs and I would actually enjoy school in a social way. I had my mum and dad around and life was full. Life just felt so vivid and full of hope and excitement and adventure.

I don’t feel anything like that anymore. I love my husband but we, like everyone else, are getting fed up of each others solo company. We don’t want children so I am lucky to have a lot of free time but I cant say I am finding this easy anymore. Every day just bleeds into the next and I wasn’t even hugely sociable before, but I am genuinely scared I’ll never feel truly alive like that again.

What period of time would you go back to if you could, to escape lockdown dreariness?

I would like to be 15 again if I knew what I know now .
But I would not like to be the teenager I was again - I hated those years.

I quite enjoyed my Erasmus year at 20.

I loved being a teenager too! Would not want to be a teenager at the moment, it must be bloody awful!

Some lovely nostalgia here 🥰

I remember me and two of my friends used to meet up in town on a Saturday when we were 16 and eat McDonald’s then go to a little dive pub and play pool and drink beer. And we would never stop laughing. I miss laughing that much all the time!

Snogging a boy you liked for the first time, geez the butterflies 🦋