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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I cant take any more

23 replies

TheoriginalLEM · 21/12/2020 02:02

I cant do this any more

My mum died, i have covid, my DP is getting sick

We have no food in apart from a fucking turkey and gammon for a Christmas that isnt going to happen.

Then i start reading about panic buying food

Please dont do this

I don't know what we are going to do, how can i ask friends to go shopping for us, we are in tier 4

I havent slept for two days and im just so scared.

What if my DD gets sick? What uf my DP dies??

OP posts:

Lessofallthisunpleasantness · 21/12/2020 02:07

Oh bless you. It will all feel insurmountable at this time in the morning. Things always do.

A gammon and a turkey will get you through weeks so you won't starve. Friends and neighbours will LOVE to help. Honestly people do want to at the moment. You will have to reach out, but I guarantee you will get help.

The chances of your DP dying of Covid are so low.... more likely to get in a car accident and that won't happen now as you are isolating, so you are probably much safer than normal.

Just look after your DP as best you can. Let yourself think and dream about your Mum. Play her favourite songs. Have a little wallow in your grief, it is quite cathartic.

ludothedog · 21/12/2020 02:08

You can do this and you will be ok. This is just a moment I time that will pass..... please ask a friend or help, they will get food for you or a local CV help group. They are there to help.

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum

Everley · 21/12/2020 02:10

I am sorry you are going through all this. I have no real advice apart from take one thing at a time. Please try not to think about what could happen, although that is easier said than done, I know.

I hope you manage to get some sleep, not sleeping properly is just crap (chronic insomnia over here waves)

Can someone not go shopping for you in tier 4? Sorry, I’m not fully aware of the regulations as in a different tier.

namechangefail2020 · 21/12/2020 02:22

You absolutely can ask your friends to go shopping for you. Think of it this way, you would do it for them. Please ask. Or Deliveroo do groceries now if you're in a city? Easy for me to say but try not to panic, I know lots that have had it and are ok, even vulnerable people

Baileyscheesecake · 21/12/2020 02:40

Can you contact your local council. They may be able to put you in touch with volunteers in your area who can shop for you or drop you off a food parcel. Our council has a community hub which was set up in the first lockdown for this specific purpose. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Do deep breathing exercises. They help with stress.

Phoenix21 · 21/12/2020 02:56

Just here to hold your hand.

Ask your friends. If mine did I would sort out a package, it’s no bother to siphon off a bit off shopping.

username1724 · 21/12/2020 03:10

Just to add in that we have also got covid in our household, oh has severe asthma and has had covid bad so im worried about him, we also have 3 dc youngest being 4 months old so im stressed about him becoming poorly (he is symptomatic) and we also had no food in. (I also lost my mum many years ago and its really bloody shit) I'm so sorry for your loss. OH is getting better though, the baby has no fever and babies tend to fair pretty well with it, I am now on the mend, and I found that morrisons are selling through amazon now and have delivery slots available so that is my practical advice! I hope things get better, you're not alone, and you can do this! Go easy on yourself and take one task at a time, things will get better!

MrDarcyismines · 21/12/2020 03:15

Oh lovely, I'm so sorry about your Mum. lots of people have had Covid (including me) and have survived.

Of course your friends can shop for you. Drop the food on your doorstep.

katy1213 · 21/12/2020 03:22

Come on, you won't starve with a turkey and a ham, even if you're sick of the sight of them and don't much fancy turkey curry! Your friends won't mind dropping off a few extra bits on the doorstep. You'll probably all be over it in a week or two.
Try to get some sleep. Things seem much worse in the middle of the night.
I'm sorry about your mum. That's a lot to deal with all at once.

Seafog · 21/12/2020 03:28

I'm sorry about your mum, I know you two had a difficult relationship, which in its own way can make grieving even more difficult.
I hope your dp is feeling better soon

prawntoastie · 21/12/2020 03:38

My friend who is forever ill had covid and she survived. Your friends can go shopping for you and if they were good friends they would.

gobbynorthernbird · 21/12/2020 06:36

Food wise, have a look at delivery. After having been told for weeks by the tesco website that there were no available slots this week, I checked yesterday as our plans have suddenly changed, and was able to book a delivery for this afternoon.

Xmasdinnervwpolo · 21/12/2020 06:40

Why can't you ask your friends to get food for you? This has always been allowed, even back in bloody marchm It's not different to a company being paid to deliver food to you?

Stepintochristmas · 21/12/2020 06:56

This reply has been deleted

Withdrawn at the user's request

PenguinsCantFly · 21/12/2020 07:01

So sorry you're having to deal with all this.

For the food worries - if Iceland deliver near you, try them! We couldn't get a delivery from any of the other supermarkets, but Iceland were able to deliver the next day.

SillyOldMummy · 21/12/2020 07:06

Go on your local Facebook and take up the offer of one of those nice people offering to be helpful to a neighbour in a time of crisis! They will shop, chat, hell they might even agree to cook the turkey for you!!

Livelovebehappy · 21/12/2020 07:47

Do you know someone who has a supermarket slot? I have one, and have a friend who has found out she has covid. I’ve therefore gone on to my order to add more stuff for friend. No turkeys available online now, but a lot of other food still available.

PunkAssMoFo · 21/12/2020 07:51

Have a look at Morrisons food boxes. They can normally deliver a general grocery shop the next day.
I know it’s a shit time, but keep going- your dd needs you. I hope you’re feeling better soon.

partyatthepalace · 21/12/2020 09:13

So sorry OP - it must be utterly grim right now, but the chances are that you will all get through this with out serious illness and everything will look much better in a week or two.

In the meantime please ask for help - if you don’t have friends near by ask neighbours. Ask several so you find one or two with the space to help with shopping etc.

I think the main thing is to really let lots of people you know / live near that you need support right now - whether that’s a phone call or getting shopping. It’s really easy when you are feeling awful to retreat - but try not to, people will be willing to help.

Bookworming · 21/12/2020 09:53

@TheoriginalLEM you're having a dreadful time. I'm tier 4, where are you? I can add some items to my click and collect and bring them if you happen to be close to me.

Original poster

TheoriginalLEM · 21/12/2020 16:44

My lovely friend has shop for me. I went into full on panic attack last night. DP was insisting he could PPE up and go to tesco scan and shop later. I couldn't let him do that with the thought he could pass this bastard disease on.

Now all i need to do is break my DD's hearts again and tell them Christmas is cancelled. Well postponed.

Both me and DP feel fucking awful so postponing xmas til next weekend seems much more sensible

OP posts:

madmumofteens · 21/12/2020 16:53

Oh OP so sorry to hear about your mum and how ill you're feeling 😞 that's great your friend did your shopping!! Take good care of yourself xx

SoNotRainbowRhythms · 21/12/2020 17:00

Please see if there is a mutual aid or community support group in your area, or any charities helping out. people can shop for you and drop it by your doorstep x. I am so sorry you are anxious.

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