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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Swinging is disgusting? (long rant sorry)

231 replies

TanishasMum · 23/10/2007 18:06

I have a problem with friends of ours that are into swinging - she even likes women iykwim?. The thing is, DH likes this couple and don't get me wrong they are a nice couple but I feel very uncomfortable around them especially her as she constantly talks about sex and what they get up to with other couples (makes me feel sick).

Anyway, we meet up with them once a month for a drink/meal and their DD is the same age as ours but AIBU to not want to bother with this couple anymore? My DH likes them though - I think her constant flirting flatters him she is rather big breasted and she asks him jokingly if he wants a feel . I am not exaggerating about this, she is the biggest flirt I have ever met in my life.

I think DH is more than happy to continue the friendship but I am not. I am defo not into swinging but I am wondering if my DH secretly wants to . So AIBU?

OP posts:
Habbibu · 23/10/2007 20:29

OK, whomoved -just exactly what were you googling when you found that one.

boolepew · 23/10/2007 20:30

I was too busy laughing at Creamy Geri. I'm too scared to look at the granny site. I'll look tomorrow when there's no children around!

Going too catch up with The Sopranos on the sky planner, now there's a man and a half!

whomovedmychocolate · 23/10/2007 20:33

Bad neighbours ironically Habibu!

whomovedmychocolate · 23/10/2007 20:35

Also FWIW swinging is excellent exercise and really tones the thighs!

But make sure your child is securely strapped into his seat and does now swing so high he goes over the top now

madamez · 23/10/2007 20:40

Well, if you don't want to do it, you don't have to do it. And FWIW this woman sounds like a bit of a prat. If you've told her you're not interested, she should lay off and leave you alone.
Plenty of people do enjoy swinging, but it's not for everyone, any more than monogamy is for everyone. But the golden rule, whatever kind of sex or lifestyle you're into, is that if someone doesn't want to know, or says no thanks, you leave them alone.

OH, and just a quick word to the mundanes moaning about how swingers are (shock horro) not all built like airbrushed supermodels - just how toned and perfect are all you monogamous types? most people don't look like supermodels, but manage to have sex lives of some kind.

Habbibu · 23/10/2007 20:45

Madamez - I'd find Mr Tweeky odd on a monogamous thread. Let's face it, it was his choice of photo...

NotQuiteCockney · 23/10/2007 20:49

I doubt most swingers are this obtuse, tbh. And I don't really want to hear about any of my friends' sex lives - and nearly everyone understands that and keeps that sort of info to themselves!

prufrock · 23/10/2007 20:53

I think it's your dh as well as you that is being unreasonable tbh. He is obv. encouraging the friendship - probably because he wants you to join in. And you are being very scathing about something that is simply outside of your normal experience rather than being an abnormal thing.

ItsGrimUpNorth · 23/10/2007 20:53

I'd suggest you flirted madly with her husband but she'd probably enjoy that as a pre emptive to swinging with them.

Sex sounds like a major part of their lives. LIke a dominant part. That's fine if they're happy with that.

If it's making you uncomfortable though - I can understand how a woman inviting your DH to feel her breasts might make you uncomfortable! - fill up your diary with other engagements so that there is literally no time for the swinging folk. That should give them one more night to swing. They'll be happy!

Also, meanwhile, sounds naff but work hard to find something both you and DH love doing together. Ballroom dance classes, cooking, language classes - anything that the two of you can have a giggle with together without some silly moo - and she is a silly moo for suggesting your DH feel her up - casting some tension.

I hope you ditch them.

lomondgore · 23/10/2007 20:53

EEEEEEWWWWWW! Why did I have to click lol

ItsGrimUpNorth · 23/10/2007 20:55

And you're so YANBU.

Don't listen to the negatives posted on here. Either they're seasoned swingers or don't know what it's like to have something they're not into thrust into their faces!

ScottishMummy · 23/10/2007 21:06

that granny fanny link gave me the wet boak

expatinscotland · 23/10/2007 21:09

what a funny ass thread.

amytheearwaxbanisher · 23/10/2007 21:22

i just had to open this didnt i

nappyaddict · 23/10/2007 21:27

yes

mrsmerton · 23/10/2007 21:28

Has anyone got a granny next door??

talulasmum · 23/10/2007 21:31

i have a lovely one next door to me. she brings my next deliveries in for me if im on a school run

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2007 21:33

lol the people next door to me certainly have a granny next door to them

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2007 21:34

but i definitely don't do anything lovely for the ?%*%s

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 23/10/2007 21:37

Blimey, go away for a bit, and it all kicks off, eh?

Erm, if you're not trollish, yanbu to have an opinion on swinging.

talulasmum · 23/10/2007 21:39

sorry to change the subject, but what is a troll? is it the same as a name changer?

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 23/10/2007 21:41

trolling is deliberately starting a thread, or posting on another with the intention of causing a fuss.

talulasmum · 23/10/2007 21:43

ok. thanks

SueBarooeeooeeooooo · 23/10/2007 21:46

welcome

whomovedmychocolate · 23/10/2007 21:51

Oh stop with the niceness. Get ye to Netmums if you are going to be all hunnylovely.