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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Swinging is disgusting? (long rant sorry)

231 replies

TanishasMum · 23/10/2007 18:06

I have a problem with friends of ours that are into swinging - she even likes women iykwim?. The thing is, DH likes this couple and don't get me wrong they are a nice couple but I feel very uncomfortable around them especially her as she constantly talks about sex and what they get up to with other couples (makes me feel sick).

Anyway, we meet up with them once a month for a drink/meal and their DD is the same age as ours but AIBU to not want to bother with this couple anymore? My DH likes them though - I think her constant flirting flatters him she is rather big breasted and she asks him jokingly if he wants a feel . I am not exaggerating about this, she is the biggest flirt I have ever met in my life.

I think DH is more than happy to continue the friendship but I am not. I am defo not into swinging but I am wondering if my DH secretly wants to . So AIBU?

OP posts:
ScaryScienceT · 23/10/2007 18:08

YANBU

EricL · 23/10/2007 18:10

They sound like a lot of fun.

Best stay clear of them though if you are worried about getting pestered into swinging.

Either make it clear from the start you are not interested and enjoy their company or end the friendship.

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2007 18:10

pmsl...i love the op

NomDeBroomstick · 23/10/2007 18:11

I don't think that you are unreasonable in not wanting to know the ins and outs (pardon the pun) of your friends sex lives.

WRT "she even likes women iykwim". Your friend is bisexual, it's not unusual or 'disgusting'.

I think you ARE being unreasonable in your views of swinging. What happens between consenting adults is their business.

However, you are NOT being unreasonable when you say that you are unhappy with the way that they behave in your company.

Saturn74 · 23/10/2007 18:11

If you find these people so offensive, then maybe your husband should socialise with them without you.

Make sure he leaves his car keys at home, or at least away from any fruit bowls.

Alternatively, you could make it clear that you feel uncomfortable about them discussing sexual matters in front of you, and I'm sure they will refrain.

And wrt to you wondering if your husband is secretly wanting to join in with the swinging - why don't you ask him?

Lulumama · 23/10/2007 18:12

hmmmm

just because they are swingers, does not mean they want to swing with you

if you find her flirting and asking your DH to cop a feel a bit too much, then fair enough....

some people just are very flirty, and that is the way they are

why not ask DH how he feels, he might simply enjoy a bit of a flirt,and has absolutely no intention of ever, ever taking it furtehr, with her or anyone

but she and what they get up to clearly makes you uncomfortable

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 23/10/2007 18:12

Why would you 'like' her if she behaves like this with your DH?

now each to their own- and if she ikes women then there's nowt wrong with that either- but this is forcing it onto you, and isn't OK. And your DH needs to respect that- this is the sort of territory where I think you need to have a complete veto if you feel one is required

RoyKinnear · 23/10/2007 18:12

chacun a son gout

boolepew · 23/10/2007 18:13

No ynbu. What people get up to in their spare time is up to them, but why do they think that everyone else is just counting the minutes until we can hear all about their sex lifes? Blergh.

Lulumama · 23/10/2007 18:13

indeed Roy, i love that phrase

EricL · 23/10/2007 18:15

Can i have their address?

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2007 18:16

er yes i did think the she even likes women bit was a bit unpc and all that..some women do like men and women

Original poster
TanishasMum · 23/10/2007 18:17

I have made it clear that I am in no way interested in swinging with them or anyone else for that matter but she still constantly talks about sex and flirts with my DH all the time. They have made it quite clear they are interested in swinging with us it makes me sick to the stomach. I reckon my DH is turned on by the fact SHE is so open sexually and likes women and I am a prude (his words). I am happy being a prude .

OP posts:
ManxMum · 23/10/2007 18:20

YANBU

I wouldn't want my child exposed to this sort of family and I pity their poor child.

Kick 'em to the kerb!

boolepew · 23/10/2007 18:22

God I'm a slow typer there were no replies to this when I started typing!

panickypatch · 23/10/2007 18:22

i wish i had the time to see friends once a month.let alone people i dont actualy like very much.
if you dont like them, then dont bother with them.

and make no mistake. from what you say, you WILL be pressurised into trying the swinging thing.

Original poster
TanishasMum · 23/10/2007 18:22

Thanks ManxMum I am going to talk to DH about this and tell him I am not comfortable in their company.

OP posts:
boolepew · 23/10/2007 18:23

Prudes are sonow. Dump her she's unfashionable.

talulasmum · 23/10/2007 18:35

oh the joys of "wind up" threads.

sorry, but dont believe a word of it.

zippitippitoes · 23/10/2007 18:39

why is everyone on this thread called someones mum do you not have any identities lol

bananaknickers · 23/10/2007 18:40

have they got pampas grass?

PeachyFleshCrawlingWithBugs · 23/10/2007 18:44

Er I am NOT using a someones name monkier LOL!

I so ahve an identity... not saying its a nice one LOL.....

talulasmum · 23/10/2007 18:45

not happy with tanishasmum, sounds too much like talulasmum.

might have to go back to my original name.

Original poster
TanishasMum · 23/10/2007 18:47

It is not a wind up thread talulasmum and don't worry I won't be tanishasmum after this thread I will change to one of my many other names .

OP posts:
StIncognita · 23/10/2007 18:49

madamez not made it here yet? Touchdown in 3... 2... 1...