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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To hope the manager bans him?

22 replies

Rosebel · 16/12/2020 12:45

Went shopping today and was queuing to pay when a man two tills over begins shouting.
An assistant had come off the shop floor to serve and she didn't have a mask on (she wasn't even serving him). Assistant who was serving explained as they were behind a screen they didn't have to wear masks.
Customer kept ranting she wasn't wearing a mask on the shop floor at which point she told him she was medically exempt.
He still kept going saying she was irresponsible, shouldn't be in that job if she can't wear a mask. This poor girl was nearly in tears.
When I left he was waiting to see a manager. I can't help thinking what a fucking ass hole he was. What gives him the right to make someone else feel like shit to the point she's nearly in tears and feels obliged to tell a stranger medical information?
Sorry to rant but it's made me so angry. Even if he was worried about Covid (he did have a mask on) surely he has no right to act like that? I bet he wouldn't have done it if she wasn't a shop assistant. Hope the manager banned him.

OP posts:

SantasBritchesSpelleas · 16/12/2020 12:47

Retail workers get treated like this all the time. They should ban him but I bet they don't.

dontdisturbmenow · 16/12/2020 12:52

So was it his first time out to a shop since April? Because most checkout staff don't wear them so where has he been?

BritWifeinUSA · 16/12/2020 12:54

Her rights (to genetically exempt) don’t end because of his fear. Of yes so bothered about this he should stay at home and get shopping delivered or have someone do his shopping for him.

I’m done with masks. They don’t work. We have been in masks since April in this state and the schools have not re-opened since they closed in February, businesses are still closed. It’s a virus. It will spread. All the masks have done is given certain individuals the sense that they can become unpaid police officers and order other people about.

BritWifeinUSA · 16/12/2020 12:55

To be medically exempt.... that should be.

MissBaskinIfYoureNasty · 16/12/2020 12:57

Meh, he needs to get over it. About 70% of the staff in our local Tesco seem to be exempt and don't socially distance either. He'd have a complete meltdown.

Puddington · 16/12/2020 13:09

Having worked in retail all this time that is fairly mild although of course completely unacceptable. The general public (and at this point, it's the majority) treat us like shit on the bottom of their shoe and the abuse we have had has driven me into a deep depression. I can hardly summon motivation to be cheerful even to nice customers because most people are ignorant or outright abusive. It was bad before the pandemic but it's unbearable now. I'm getting to quit my job and move around March and I can only hope I make it that far without hitting someone.

Sobeyondthehills · 16/12/2020 13:14

Agree with PP especially round this time of year, that was mild. The amount of shit I have had to deal with at Christmas is amazing, probably why I hate it so much.

Add to it masks, whether you are wearing one or not. Its just a new layer of shit certain members of the British public can throw at retail staff

AnneElliott · 16/12/2020 13:17

He's a dickhead. They should ban him but possibly won't. I always snr on bell-ends like that in shops. I used to work in retail and hated that I couldn't answer back so now I let rip!

Afolnerd · 16/12/2020 13:19

Unfortunately fairly standard in retail.
My 16 Year old Ds got shouted and screamed at by a crying woman last week as someone got to close to her in the queue!
He also got told he was rude as the shop was at capacity and he asked her politely to wait.
A lot of customers are arseholes unfortunately. I have done 17 years in retail and my tolerance to these twats is very low.
Luckily we have a no nonsense manager who will happily tell them to bugger off elsewhere if they can’t behave.

OfTheNight · 16/12/2020 13:22

Retail staff get treated abysmally. I really think everyone should have to do 3 months working in a public facing role so people can see what it’s like.

Puddington · 16/12/2020 13:23

@OfTheNight

Retail staff get treated abysmally. I really think everyone should have to do 3 months working in a public facing role so people can see what it’s like.

We always say there should be a compulsory "national service" of that kind. Anyone who was STILL a dick after working the job for a few months would be utterly beyond hope.

Rainbowandscarlett · 16/12/2020 13:26

I was in our corner shop the other day wearing my fabric mask (I don’t have the endless money to buy disposable ones to wear for seconds)
Some old bloke came out of nowhere,punched me and screamed at me to wear one ‘like mine’
His was a disposable one-that was really tatty and dirty so he must have been using it over and over again-at least mine is washed after every use
I work in retail and I can’t breathe so have to take breaks to just take in air or faint
The amount of abuse I get from non-mask wearing members of the public is unreal
Some people are just mask police-and need to get a life

Hayeahnobut · 16/12/2020 13:27

I agree he should be banned.

Though it is interesting to see the contrasting reactions to when exempt shoppers get abuse.

Puddington · 16/12/2020 13:43

Oh also FWIW even with the best intentions in the world bannings don't really do much; at our location we have these two people who come in and steal reusable coffee cups and packets of biscuits and other items, they have been thrown out over 20 times, given written bans repeatedly, we even have a crime reference number for them because it was eventually reported to the police. But without a policeman literally standing at the door constantly they continue to walk in and then the onus is on us (while horribly understaffed and already trying to do everything agt once) to spot them before they steal anything and throw them out, and get a torrent of horrific abuse from them for our efforts.

Charleyhorses · 16/12/2020 13:43

My dd working in Boots was a called a cunt and spat at in Boots. He wasn't banned.

Dancemonkeydance · 16/12/2020 13:46

Worked in hospitality for years so similar to retail. He should be banned 100%, but he won't, they never are. What's more likely is the girls manager will actually appear to the to man to take his side. It's tragic and happens everyday!

Original poster

Rosebel · 16/12/2020 13:48

I know it's not unusual because I work in retail too (but am lucky because I went on maternity leave in April) but I just find it unacceptable.
This girl was only young and I felt sorry for her. I've been in retail for a few years and now just mutter under my breath fuck off, fuck off. She possibly hadn't been there long and hadn't grown a thick enough skin.
I don't know, it just really got to me today. He doesn't have to go to the shops. She doesn't have that option. Don't know why retail workers are treated like shit but we always are.

OP posts:

notreallybotheredaboutausernam · 16/12/2020 13:51

@Rainbowandscarlett

I was in our corner shop the other day wearing my fabric mask (I don’t have the endless money to buy disposable ones to wear for seconds) Some old bloke came out of nowhere,punched me and screamed at me to wear one ‘like mine’ His was a disposable one-that was really tatty and dirty so he must have been using it over and over again-at least mine is washed after every use I work in retail and I can’t breathe so have to take breaks to just take in air or faint The amount of abuse I get from non-mask wearing members of the public is unreal Some people are just mask police-and need to get a life

You were punched? Really? I assume you called the police then?

Puddington · 16/12/2020 13:51

@Rosebel

I know it's not unusual because I work in retail too (but am lucky because I went on maternity leave in April) but I just find it unacceptable. This girl was only young and I felt sorry for her. I've been in retail for a few years and now just mutter under my breath fuck off, fuck off. She possibly hadn't been there long and hadn't grown a thick enough skin. I don't know, it just really got to me today. He doesn't have to go to the shops. She doesn't have that option. Don't know why retail workers are treated like shit but we always are.

tbh that's what makes me so angry and resentful of how horrible people have been during the pandemic, it is ENTIRELY THEIR CHOICE to go shopping, we unfortunately don't have the choice not to work and yet we get treated like utter shit for it.

A 17-year-old new start was screamed at to "just do her fucking job and serve me" when she politely asked a man if he'd like to use our new self-checkouts, which were installed due to how woefully understaffed we are and to keep us a bit safer by not having us be in contact with so many people. These people do not see us as human let's be real.

Tal45 · 16/12/2020 14:17

Some people really are terrified about covid, that doesn't make it ok to abuse people though :-( There has been a huge problem with the abuse of staff in retail, I think all retail places should have 'I am medically exempt' lanyards for their staff to wear if they need them to at least try to reduce help.

Tal45 · 16/12/2020 14:18

'to at least try to help' - is there no edit button???

Sobeyondthehills · 17/12/2020 01:07

@Tal45

I know retail staff who have refused to wear them, because they still get abuse, including

"You don't look disabled"
"Well you should be at home then" (despite the fact they stay at home they won't earn money and no one is in retail for fun)

It won't stop, if someone is going to be abusive they will be abusive. I just hope the manager backs up his staff. I know when I was a manager it took me great pleasure to tell an abusive idiot to fuck off, with a smile on my face.

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