Lavish birthday for BIL, DH ignored

[Icedforestberries]

It's BIL's (husband of my sis) birthday soon. He's had a rough year, and is close to my DS's, so we have planned big surprise birthday requiring travel during busy Christmas window, thoughtful birthday and Christmas gifts.

DSis and BIL are buying Christmas gifts for DSs, rather than me and DH, at my suggestion.

It was my DH's birthday this week. No mention of it from DSis or BIL (card, text - wasn't expecting present).

My mum wrote their names in the card she sent.

AIBU to be disappointed by this?

Who has organised the birthday thing for BIL? Did you ask anyone to do anything for your DH?

You say BIL has had a hard year - has it slipped their mind

Need more information, would you normally get each other cards/presents? Is bil’s a big birthday? Are you making more effort than usual? Does bil (and sis) know you’ve made this much effort for him? What does dh think of the extra effort for bil?