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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to change my name at age 40?

29 replies

Karenkaren1980 · 03/10/2020 22:39

This is so outing so I’ve changed my user name.

My name is Karen! I have never liked it as there were so many Karen’s in my class I hated how common the name was. Now I hate it even more due to the new link with argumentative, middle aged women.

I am middle aged & would be the type to ask for the manager if I’m not happy 😃

Can I change my name at age 40?

My maiden name is a name that could be used as a first name and I LOVE it. Can I just ask to be called by this now?

DC are so young they wouldn’t be confused or know.

OP posts:
MyMushroomsInATimeSlip · 03/10/2020 22:43

Change it if you've always wanted to - but I reckon the "Karen" thing will run its course soon

MrsMcMuffins · 03/10/2020 22:45

I think Karen is such a beautiful classic name.
I had never heard about this new meaning of the name before I saw it used on MN and I have never heard it used like that in RL.

CallarMorvern · 03/10/2020 22:48

Another Karen here, I'm older - in fact you are the youngest Karen that I've heard of. And yes, I've been thinking along the same lines too. I don't feel I can be assertive about anything anymore, as once I give my name people just take the piss. It doesn't seem to be dying down either, as it's been going for a few years now. In real life I laugh it off, but I hate it and it's really affecting my confidence, when I'd got to an age where I was feeling comfortable in my skin and more confident.

Original poster
Karenkaren1980 · 03/10/2020 23:02

@CallarMorvern you feel my pain! The name Karen was so popular when I was born, I know at least 10 Karen’s. But I would be the most Karen of them all. I used to like my assertiveness but now I don’t use it at all!

My maiden name is a female first name - think Riley etc so I could use it without seeming too strange to new people.

OP posts:
CherryBlossomTree7 · 03/10/2020 23:10

Definitely do it OP, use your maiden name.

If it'll make you feel more confident and happier, then go for it.

user15412486546 · 03/10/2020 23:25

It's your life and your name - if you have a name already that you feel connected to and you love, then why the hell not use it!

HappyStar56 · 03/10/2020 23:28

I absolutely hate my name and always have ever since I was a young child. I am planning to change mine v soon and have young children too who wouldn’t notice. Go for it!!

june2007 · 03/10/2020 23:30

My friend has to be honest it feals weird but she is happy. (It was due to how she was named in the first place rather then what her name was.)

MyNameForToday1980 · 03/10/2020 23:37

Go for it, why not? It'll cost approx. £20 for the actual deed poll change (last time I checked) - the only downside (aside from teaching people to call you by your new name) is the admin and associated costs (new passport, changing bank details etc.).

Original poster
Karenkaren1980 · 03/10/2020 23:45

I think new people wouldn’t even question the new name as it is a female name. But it might be strange for family for a while

Although DH has a sister that lives abroad & she uses a nickname for social media I sometimes forget her real name. I didn’t know her previously though

OP posts:
IslandLulu · 04/10/2020 00:05

Do it, OP Smile

kness · 04/10/2020 00:07

@MyMushroomsInATimeSlip

Change it if you've always wanted to - but I reckon the "Karen" thing will run its course soon
Nowhere near. It's got worse than ever. You have no idea how much bullying is going on, both online and in real life.
katy1213 · 04/10/2020 00:08

Riley is much more worse than Karen!

Original poster
Karenkaren1980 · 04/10/2020 00:13

@katy1213 it’s not Riley! I was just trying to explain that my maiden name is actually a female first name too.
My married surname is very much just a surname.

OP posts:
katy1213 · 04/10/2020 00:18

I can't believe I wrote much more worse!
But if it's anything remotely like Riley, it sounds like a porn name!

SecretBlue · 04/10/2020 00:22

Do it OP! Why not? If you dislike your name that much why wouldn't you do it!

And why stick with your maiden name, why not choose a whole new name. Let's us pick for you!!!!

Pyewhacket · 04/10/2020 00:27

I changed my name at 18 so I don’t see why not. Go for it.

Original poster
Karenkaren1980 · 04/10/2020 00:33

@SecretBlue I love your support! What name Woolf you pick for a 40 year old, mother of 2 toddlers, with red hair, short & loves comedy, fat arse theatre, people, drama, life!

Honestly I love my maiden name as it’s my connection to my late father & his family who I’m super close with.

I actually used my maiden name as DD christening name so it’s one I find quite pretty

OP posts:
SecretBlue · 04/10/2020 00:38

Well if you love your maiden name so much definitely go with that! Do it Monday!!!!

No time like the present!

Original poster
Karenkaren1980 · 04/10/2020 00:38

@katy1213 it’s not Riley Confused it’s a female name that could be a first name & in my country it’s an unusual but pretty second name

OP posts:
MrsBennetsnerves · 04/10/2020 00:43

I changed my name in midlife and only regret not doing it earlier. There weren't any negative associations save that it was slightly dated for my age and I never liked it. The newer name simply feels more comfortable now. Go for it.

MiniMum97 · 04/10/2020 01:43

@MrsBennetsnerves

I changed my name in midlife and only regret not doing it earlier. There weren't any negative associations save that it was slightly dated for my age and I never liked it. The newer name simply feels more comfortable now. Go for it.
Did you? How did people react to it? I am thinking of changing mine. How did you introduce your new name to everyone?
BluePeterVag · 04/10/2020 02:18

Go for it. Life is too short to put up with stuff you can change.

Qiry · 04/10/2020 02:23

It would be weird if someone in my family used our surname as their first name. You might want to check with them first. Also, what if you ever got divorced and wanted to go back to your maiden name? Then you'd be Quinn Quinn or Hillary Hillary or whatever.

bettybeans · 04/10/2020 02:30

No! Don't give in to this misogynistic pish. There's nothing wrong with the name Karen and I'm so sad that you've been made to feel that there is. Hold your ground. Be one of the Karens that says GTF.

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