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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

took on life 2 early

33 replies

2young2know · 24/09/2007 17:33

i got preggi at 16 then married at 17, now im 18 with a man 11yrs older than me that treats me with no respect even tho everything thing we have got i got it all by myself. he dont show love in the right ways and i cant go out wid m8s for birthday partys or anyhing. any advice?

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bubblagirl · 24/09/2007 17:40

i rewally dont know what to say sorry you feel this way but you made the choices to have baby and get married young it does stop you from going out with friends

sorry he doesn't treat you with respect if you no longer love him then leave but you still wont have the freedom you crave as you have a dc

if you do want to be with him sit down anf tell him how you feel and see if you can work things out once again its your choice on what you do as only you know what you want

i understand you probably feel your missing out as your mates are going out but you chose to settle down and with this it means sacrifices too

bubblagirl · 24/09/2007 17:40

really lol

2young2know · 24/09/2007 17:43

i love my lil boy more than anything this hasnt got anything to do with him. my husband stop me from doin anything i have to b with him, he came home from work one night and the door was locked he flipped n sed i woz cheatin on him i had my lil boy in my arms but yet he still yelled at me n searched the whole house

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FioFio · 24/09/2007 17:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

newlifenewname · 24/09/2007 17:45

If there's ANY chance you can complete your words this thread of yours may get some serious attention. Don't wish to be rude but, txt spk spells troll here sadly.

Have you rung Women's aid yet?

InMyHumbleOpinion · 24/09/2007 17:45

0808 2000 247

womens aid

ring it and talk to them if you want to end the relationship and can't

2young2know · 24/09/2007 17:46

if he knew i woz on here he wud flipp at me he used 2 be fun n laid bk but know hes horrible to me makes me feel worthless the only thing keepin me goin is me lil boy

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xXxamyxXx · 24/09/2007 17:47

i dont think your age has much do do with it whatever age you have a baby it means loads of sacrifices and having everything change thou you should be able to have a night out every now and again does he go out?would have a talk about the respect thing its important

2young2know · 24/09/2007 17:48

hes not hittin me just bein horrible hes never had the chance to hit me the police got here in time luckly i dont want to waste there time theres alot more goin off in the world than wots happening to me

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2young2know · 24/09/2007 17:49

he doesnt go out cause he thinks i'l get up 2 something but iv neva done anything to make him think like that.

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newlifenewname · 24/09/2007 17:49

women's aid isn't bout physical violence alone

sparklygothkat · 24/09/2007 17:51

please use full sentances, people don't like text speak here.

Anyway, I was 18 when I fell pregnant with DS and we married when I was 4 months pregnant. Its hard being so young, but 10 years on, we have 2 little girls too with another boy on his way.

xXxamyxXx · 24/09/2007 17:51

sorry had only seen your first message when i replied id run for the bloody hills buggy in tow thats not normal behavior sounds like a controlling nut have you family who could help you?

sparklygothkat · 24/09/2007 17:52

TBH he sounds like an arse. I would consider phoning the woman's aid number, even if only for advice

InMyHumbleOpinion · 24/09/2007 17:53

"theres alot more goin off in the world than wots happening to me"

Right. There's the secret.

YOU ARE WORTH JUST AS MUCH AS ANYONE ELSE.

YOU DO NOT HAVE TO PUT UP WITH A SHIT RELATIONSHIP BECAUSE YOU HAD A BABY AT 17.

YOU HAVE THE WORLD'S PERMISSION TO END THE RELATIONSHIP.

IF YOU FEAR THAT YOU WILL BE PHYSICALLY OR EMOTIONALLY HURT BY ENDING THE RELATIONSHIP, YOU ARE FULLY ENTITLED TO CALL WOMEN'S AID.

YOU DESERVE BETTER.

I know you don't believe me, but for your son's sake can you please try to live your young life as if you had some self esteem?

2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:00

im talkin to them now. iv got some self esteem left but not much

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Homebird8 · 24/09/2007 18:01

IMHO says it all really. You obviously love your little boy and he deserves a happy mum who can give him her best. You aren't going to be able to do that if you live in fear and don't believe you deserve better.

You are a really special person. Ring Women's Aid and talk it through with them. Your son mustn't learn that what is happening around him is acceptable behaviour.

You are strong enough to have this conversation and strong enough to make your own decisions. Take a deep breath and pick up the phone.

fawkeoff · 24/09/2007 18:05

i'm seconding IMHO on this one hun...many women on this site have had babies and got married at a young age, but it doesn't mean that u have to be a human doormat for this man to walk all over you.I had my dd when i was 17 and yes ihave made sacrifices but i would never let my dp treat me like a piece of shit.

2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:05

i want to end the relationship really bad iv tried so many times but he always makes me feel iv done everything wrong n that he aint done nothing so why shud he go.

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fawkeoff · 24/09/2007 18:07

are you in any positon to just leave??? womens aid can help you with refuge centres, then you will get housed of the council or a housing association x

2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:09

i cant leave everything iv got it took me 2yrs n theres no way im leavin it for him i want him out but i know he will make my life hell wen hes gone.

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2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:10

he made up loads of lies about me the last time he left he even made my dad believe i woz takin E's everyday, he will turn every1 against me

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2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:11

i know he can coz he is very convinsing.(sorry cant spell that well)

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fawkeoff · 24/09/2007 18:13

well at the end of the day those that really know you wil not listen to his bullshit hun...you need to kick him out, and if he harasses you then phone the police

2young2know · 24/09/2007 18:14

they wont do anything now iv had them round twice n had 2 drop charges coz of him they will think im just messin them about.

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