To think daydream is a perfect waste of time

[ColdForFive]

This probably isn’t daydreaming as such, rather concocting situations and all the subsequent consequences.

But a couple of nights ago, that’s exactly what I spent my evening doing. I considered continuing my jigsaw or watching something but actually just sat for about two hours just inventing situations and what would happen/ what I’d say, etc

I told my friend and she thinks it’s an insane way to spent time. I really enjoyed it. I used to do that a lot in my teens. I think it’s the first time I’ve ever just spent two hours of my adult life just fantasising different situations.

So do you ever just spend long amounts of time lost in your thoughts/ daydreaming. Or is it a crazy thing to do?

I might for a few minutes but i find it depressing because its not reality.

I think that's called maladaptive daydreaming?

I've often thought that if put in solitary, i could spend at least a couple of days in my own head. As you say it's not exactly daydreaming.

I think some people are just better at doing that. Like some people wouldn't need exotic books or porn, because we can do enough with fantasy.

Reading a lot of biographies of people going through horrendous things, they've done the same. It's just escapism.

I wouldn't share it with people who don't understand it.

I spend many hours living many different lives in my head.
I'm part of the lives of many books/tv shows/films that I love and have concocted whole plots that I'm part of.
I can’t imagine a life without daydreams!

This has come up a few times on MN. At least you know you're not alone, op.

Me too and it's why there are a lot of people who don't hate being confined to their homes.

I quite like daydreaming. I’m also a homebody - never thought about those things being related.

Yes it’s a waste of time, you aren’t doing anything productive in real life. Yes also though that it’s enjoyable, and no different than immersing yourself in a book!

I daydream about Keanu Reeves

I’m also one of this people who maladaptive daydream - @Took I do exactly the same with films/books etc. For a long time I never told anyone about how much I daydream (it’s A LOT). I often return to where I left off previously and have many different ‘lives’ in my head. It’s escapism, pure and simple.

I maladaptive daydream. I can spend hours immersed in ficticious worlds in my own head sometimes getting angry sometimes falling in love sometimes being at peace. Its no different to any other hobby really

I spend a lot of time in maladaptive daydreams. I don’t know how to reduce the amount of time or even if it is a good idea to.

There are far worse coping mechanisms.

I do this too and have done it since I was a child. I can spend a lot of time daydreaming and it's definitely picked up since lockdown. I think it's a coping mechanism for me. I don't talk about it really but am glad to know I'm not alone in it

I use to do it a lot waste more time online now, instead but I love/d it. It's like that old guy they keep showing on BBC - "I can be anywhere; my mind is still free".

I don't form pictures or scenes in my head and struggle to imagine things but I do still imagine, as best I can, what my millionaire house and land would look like and how I'd fill my time. I usually do this before sleep and sometimes go to bed early simply so I can spend more time in that world because I can't do it when it's light or there are noises etc etc distracting me.

I do this all the time. I have favourite stories that I replay in my head most days while I'm walking to work, I really look forward to it.

I do talk about it. I have people who I write shared stories with. One for eighteen years and one for eight.

As I have real locations and so on in my stories I am considering putting together scrap books for my daydreams.

I am scrapbooking all my real life during lockdown, so am thinking I may as well do my daydreams, giving they take up such a lot of my time.

@Took @IndigoHexagon you both sound like perfect candidates to write fanfiction

I struggle to sleep at night so I spend a couple of hours in bed each night doing this until I fall asleep.

I start making up a story and play through it in my head, redoing bits I don't like and working on new bits. I'll spend a few months on a story before it's "finished" and I'm happy with it. Sometimes I'll have a couple on the go and I'll swap between them if I get stuck on one and can't make the story work properly.

Surely it’s only “maladaptive” if it has a negative impact on your real life? Otherwise it’s just daydreaming, which might not be a particularly productive way to spend time, but is enjoyable and harmless.

I’m so glad to hear it’s not just me. I used to spend some more hours (back when smart phones weren’t around and the alternative was to just read a book) sitting in my bedroom doing this.

It was really strange the other day though. I occasionally done it whilst sitting on a bus or walking to work, but it’s the first time I’ve ever actively decided that would be a better waste of my time than internet/ tv, etc.

I do it all the time! I love my many lives (even the real one!)

I do it constantly and bloody love it!

I spend hours daydreaming oh the witty put downs, the amazing sex I look like I did 15 years ago ...

But it doesn’t stop me getting on with my life (that’s very busy and mostly fulfilling)

At the moment it’s about an ex. I have no desire to be with him or even see him or contact him but in my daydreams it’s all very nice (never have over famous people I always know them so some sort of reality is in my daydreams 😁) i think maybe I am missing something a good relationship

It's totally normal at the moment as we're in the middle of a pandemic where underlying stress is an issue that's hard to do anything about

Frankly any way of getting through this in a non harmful way is fine.

In non-pandemic times I'd be at least asking myself why I didn't want to be in reality. Again, fine as a coping mechanism but if you spent many hours there then it may be better to deal with what's going on in your life that you don't want to be there.