To be pissed off at DH who made me look a twat?

[SlashsSnakePit]

DH and I were going on a night out last night with his mate and his mates wife. He told me they were called Alan and Borgenstein. Obviously I questioned the wife’s name but he insisted she was Dutch and that was her actual name.

We got there and his mate did indeed refer to his wife as Borg so fair enough but DH whispered to me that she likes to be called her full name and only her hubby calls her Borg. So a while later I refer to her as her full name. Only that is not her real name at all. DH bursts out laughing and his mate punches him in the arm and calls him a twat. DH then explains its an in joke between the pair of them. His wife looked uncomfortable and I felt like an absolute twat. DH thinks I’m over reacting but I’m so annoyed. I struggle with social anxiety and this will play on my mind for months if not years.

Mean of your DH to make this joke at yours and her expense.

It's done now though so unless it's a pattern, if you've said your piece I'd let it go.

I would feel as foolish and angry as you do, OP. What a bloody idiot. Don't let it trouble you though - he's the dickhead here, not you.

Was this an extreme one off or typical?

I dont think you should feel embarrassed. He should.

Your DH is a comedy genius. That is literally the funniest prank I’ve ever heard of. He should be on the telly.

He should feel embarrassed. That wasn’t funny.

DH then explains its an in joke between the pair of them

An in joke between who? What's the funny about it?

I'd be really annoyed and concerned that I'd upset or offended the wife.

Your DH is a gobshite.

DH then explains its an in joke between the pair of them. His wife looked uncomfortable and I felt like an absolute twat.

What a pair of charmers, coming up with an in joke with their wives as the punchline! There's literally nothing funny about lying to someone to embarrass them socially, and that's doubly true if they already suffer from anxiety.

An in joke between DH and his mate. The funny part is supposedly adapting his wife’s name to something else to wind him up.

Your DH is a fool. You’ve no reason to be embarrassed, though.

Get a divorce. Cite unreasonable Borghaviour.

He embarrassed her and his own friend as well as you. Not funny. There are women called Borg, I love it and wish I was called something like that! But anyway - your H was out of order. Is he insensitive and doesn’t think - or do you feel that he likes undermining you and making you look like a twat generally? I would try to get through to him that it’s not ok.

Your DH is a bit of a wanker. Is he generally better than this?

Get a divorce. Cite unreasonable Borghaviour 😂😂😂

@StillCoughingandLaughing 😂 Genius.

So your wanker DH and his wanker friend have invited their wives out to take the piss out of them.

Lovely.

I’d bet it’s not the only time your OH has used you as the butt of his joke, sounds very tiresome and I’d be upset by it too

Sounds funny to me

Well isn't he lovely?!

I'm with you OP, also suffer with social anxiety and something like this would make me feel rubbish for ages 🤦🏼‍♀️

They sounds like they are about 13 🙄🙄🙄

Next time he suggests date night I would stand him up for the wife ‘borg’ of his (equally charming) friend.

You will have a nicer dinner experience without two overgrown children.

So is her name Borg?

Is she in on the joke?

I would just laugh it off.

He's a childish prick but unless this is part of a general pattern of annoying behaviour I would ignore.

So he's mocking her name basically, and made you and her look stupid in one. What a Prince.

He has laid the gauntlet, let the mischief begin. What’s your payback plan

Did you explain to the wife that you had clearly been set up?

It reflects badly on her husband as well. I don't think she would have been upset by you getting her name wrong, but by her husband making you look stupid.

It's a shitty thing to do, especially if your husband knows that you have social anxiety.