To be pissed off at DH who made me look a twat?

[SlashsSnakePit]

DH and I were going on a night out last night with his mate and his mates wife. He told me they were called Alan and Borgenstein. Obviously I questioned the wife’s name but he insisted she was Dutch and that was her actual name.

We got there and his mate did indeed refer to his wife as Borg so fair enough but DH whispered to me that she likes to be called her full name and only her hubby calls her Borg. So a while later I refer to her as her full name. Only that is not her real name at all. DH bursts out laughing and his mate punches him in the arm and calls him a twat. DH then explains its an in joke between the pair of them. His wife looked uncomfortable and I felt like an absolute twat. DH thinks I’m over reacting but I’m so annoyed. I struggle with social anxiety and this will play on my mind for months if not years.

That’s quite nasty. The name sound rather Ork-ish (lord of the rings). As if to be making fun of his pals wife? It’s just all so so wrong!

Is he normally a bully?

I think it’s alright. Not hysterically funny, but alright.
Poor old Borg, as long as she knows it’s them two being dicks and you don’t get the blame.

So how were the pair of you introduced?

I wouldn't pay it a second thought if it was me.

"FFS Borg, they're a pair of twats aren't they?"

Then move on.

IMO it's a bit of funny banter but obviously only if you and his wife would laugh along. If it genuinely upset you and/or her then he needs to read his audience and be more considerate.

I’d be calling Dh Dickhead for the rest of the evening.

I would hate that and would not find it funny if I was either wife in that scenario.

Sorry but I just find it really funny! Get your revenge on him with an even meaner prank.

Is he always so bold?

He sounds like a dick.

It depends entirely on the interactions styles, personalities and rapport of people present. Everyone needs to have shared sense of finding that funny (if puerile)...if so much as 1 out of the 4 doesn't, well it's just not funny, end of story.

Your husband should know you well enough to realise how this would impact you and should have been more aware and considerate.

It was a silly thing to do but not a massive deal. Try not to let it play on your mind OP.

'That was really funny, DH. It's always such a breath of fresh air to join in the domestic abuse of another man's wife, it makes the participants look so big and clever. What other ways have you supported his abuse of her? - I could do with a laugh'.

“ Get a divorce. Cite unreasonable Borghaviour.”

👌🏻

Your DH is a dick. Given your social anxiety I can understand how upset you are but try to let it go.

By which I mean don't beat yourself up about it. By all means rage at your H.

Next time you go out, arrange with Borg beforehand that you both refer to your so called DHs Tithead and Twathead all night. You could always shorten them to Tit and Twat.

He’s a gobshite and I don’t think it’s comic genius but I also don’t think it’s that big of a deal.

Domestic abuse @MitziK? Has Bourgenstein got another meaning then?

I'm sorry but I actually think it's funny! Can't you all take a joke?

Overreacting much! It was a joke, forget it and move on with life instead of hanging on to something that was meant to be funny.

I do think it was a bit funny. Just surprised it was the first time he mentioned the name of his friends wife in front of you. I don't think it is domestic abuse just juvenile behaviour which I am prone to myself. Definitely not worth playing over in your mind. You did nothing wrong.

Can't you all take a joke?

Yes, but embarssing your wife when you know she has social anxiety, isnt a joke. Or funny.

Making a joke at someone else expense so you and your mate can have a laugh, isnt a joke....or funny.

I think it was shitty. Two blokes and their hilarious in joke that leaves both their wives feeling uncomfortable.

Well as long as the boys got their laugh!

Some women would roll their eyes and move on. However your husband knows you have social anxiety. Knob.