To be pissed off at DH who made me look a twat?

[SlashsSnakePit]

DH and I were going on a night out last night with his mate and his mates wife. He told me they were called Alan and Borgenstein. Obviously I questioned the wife’s name but he insisted she was Dutch and that was her actual name.

We got there and his mate did indeed refer to his wife as Borg so fair enough but DH whispered to me that she likes to be called her full name and only her hubby calls her Borg. So a while later I refer to her as her full name. Only that is not her real name at all. DH bursts out laughing and his mate punches him in the arm and calls him a twat. DH then explains its an in joke between the pair of them. His wife looked uncomfortable and I felt like an absolute twat. DH thinks I’m over reacting but I’m so annoyed. I struggle with social anxiety and this will play on my mind for months if not years.

My only embarrassment here, if I were the OP, would be to realise that I had chosen to marry a man who turned out to be a knob.

Well I laughed

So the OP's DH essentially made fun of Borg's name because she is foreign? What a prince...

I'm sure it could well be mildly funny if it is not your name, not your country, not your husband and you have never been in a foreign country with people making "hilarious" jokes based on their incorrect ideas about how to pronounce things in your country.

I would find that funny TBF. Do you think perhaps you've taken it to heart when it's just a little joke

yeah, racist jokes are hilarious! My foreign husband cant get enough of them- he finds them side splittingly funny!

Well I laughed

How is that relevant?

OP, your DH is the one who looks like a twat so don’t worry

What is Borgenstein’s real name. Is it borg... anything?

I know a Borga. Someone above mentioned Ingeborg (that would normally be someone in her 60s or older in Germany).

Well, I think it's funny 😂

Personally, a few jokes like that and I would get the ick never to recover... I would hate being the wife of such an idiot.

Oh Wait! I hated going out with then husband as I spent the bloody night cringing and wanting to hide under the table.

Picking up on the social anxiety, don’t most people have some mild form of social anxiety? Isn’t it a normal thing?

If OP is ok to go and meet someone she has never met before then I doubt the anxiety is that bad. Sounds like she is pissed off at her husbands behaviour and using anxiety as an excuse to cajole people to support her.

How cringy. How was the rest of the meal? Was it awkward?

“Jokes” with the sole purpose of making someone else look foolish are the sole province of 6 year olds.
Very unattractive in a supposed grownup. What a catch he sounds, op.
Never let that prize get away.

If OP is ok to go and meet someone she has never met before then I doubt the anxiety is that bad.
People with social anxiety have to go out and meet people they have never met before. They might hate it, they might have learned to deal with it as best possible, but obviously not all people with social anxiety are hermits.

I used to have so many stupid jokes about my maiden name, as it's Czech. And then there was almost a determination to spell it wrong even after correcting them over and over again.

And then in France, while I was doing the third year of my French degree, none on my French friends could pronounce my name right, and they kept on joking about it. The thing was, it was funny the first few times, but was it funny the hundredth time?? Most definitely not, I used to laugh because I felt it was expected to, but it was wearing very thin.

Don't be too sure that the friend you're taking the Mick out of really finds it as funny as you do. It can be hard to speak up, especially in a foreign country.

Why do people asking what the other wife’s name is?? The OP said it right there in her post! The other wife’s name is Borg.

The in joke between the husbands is then contorting the name Borg into other names or words.

Taking the piss out of someone's name isn't a joke. It's the sort of pathetic juvenile shit you'd expect a 10 year old to have grown out of.
He's made himself look like an uncultured, offensive, spiteful idiot and used you to unwittingly deliver his punchline. Sad cunt.

Urban dictionary suggests that Borgenstein means broken, nonsensical or stupid.
So did you find out her real name?

Not funny, but not the end of the world.

So hte delightful pair think it's a laugh to make both their wives feel uncomfortable? Do you know her actual name now?

Could you bear to ring her up and suggest you have an adult coffee to get to know each other a bit better without the Fools? That's go a little way to turning the tables on them.

@bobstersmum It will be a schoolboy putting his friend's surname on urban dictionary, as a joke.
Try putting another few names into urban dictionary. They usually mean "stupid" etc.

www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=josh
www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Mike
www.urbandictionary.com/tags.php?tag=gabriel

If you were to become independently friendly iwth her, then you could set something up between you that makes them uncomfortable - a discussion of penis peculiarities, for instance...... "you know you have that wrinkle, darling - Borg, you should see it! well, you shouldn't obvs but....."

@bobstersmum the wife’s name is Borg.

“Unreasonable Borghavior. “
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I wouldn’t mind though but the prank or joke in itself wasn’t even funny. It’s not as though anyone could say.
“Well yes it was a cunty thing to do, but it was hilarious.”