Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have not moved out of the way for this man?

203 replies

rainbowmask · 14/02/2020 09:55

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

OP posts:
Ponoka7 · 14/02/2020 10:00

I think you should have said that you couldn't move.

Given your condition you should have been on the left side. It's become an unwritten rule.

The shove from him was deliberate, which is out of order.

mantarays · 14/02/2020 10:02

I think walk on the left is basic manners. It’s not your fault you have a condition of course but would it not have been quicker to walk on the left? You have to walk further to reach the right, unless I am missing something.

Obviously he should not have shoved you.

isabellerossignol · 14/02/2020 10:04

Given your condition you should have been on the left side. It's become an unwritten rule.

In the busy station that I use, everyone tends to walk on the right.

Unwritten rules are hard to navigate.

WorraLiberty · 14/02/2020 10:04

Keeping left is a pretty standard 'rule' even if there are no signs.

I would have apologised and said I couldn't move over.

Shemeanswell · 14/02/2020 10:06

Hello fellow Leeds station user. Is it just me or do the renovations make the place feel MUCH colder?

YANBU, he sounds like a dick.

Nowayorhighway · 14/02/2020 10:08

I commute through Leeds station to work so I completely understand the frustration. I probably would have apologised to him and explained why you couldn’t move.

MulticolourMophead · 14/02/2020 10:09

While I can understand the walk on the left idea, men in general do get stroppy when other people (usually women) don't get out of their way.

Look around you when you're walking along the street for example. How many men are just ploughing ahead and not sidestepping, compared to the numbers of women who move out the way?

I don't move much anymore, except for those who need the space, eg for disabilities, etc.

TirisfalPumpkin · 14/02/2020 10:09

I commute through Leeds and am sure I’ve had run ins with the same or similar arseholes.

While keeping left is recommended if you can, at least you were moving. It’s people who obliviously block the way while staring at their phones who are the real offenders. If you can be navigated around, you’re not a major problem and there is no need to be a wanker about it.

Maybe worth having one of those disability badges to point to if you don’t fancy entering into a debate with a dickhead about why you are causing a delay of several seconds to his very important day.

BiddyPop · 14/02/2020 10:13

In the station I use, it tends to be walk on the left, stand on the right on escalators, but walk on the right on stairs. Actually, pretty much everywhere in my city tends to operate by that unwritten rule - but there are plenty of escalators where 2 stand across, and stairs where you have people walking on the left, as they don't know those unwritten rules.

Usually the people barging in such cases are men (or Spanish students). Most people find a way to work around each other.

hazell42 · 14/02/2020 10:14

The trouble is you were on the wrong side, whether the notices are there or not.
I had almost exactly the same situation, and I too have to hold onto the rail because my balance is poor and I fall easily
A young man came up on my side and just stood in front of me expecting me to move. I just told him to keep on the left, to which he swore. Unfortunately his was in a very audible manner
Keep to the left, hold on to the banisters, and then stand your ground. If your condition means that you can only hold onto the right hand side, use the lift. They are usually much less busy anyway

atomicblonde30 · 14/02/2020 10:15

I wouldn’t have moved nor would I have apologised, I’m really tired of the way men think they can just stampede people out of their way by using brute force. He absolutely should not have shoved you, are you okay?

youareacuntychops · 14/02/2020 10:16

I need to hold the hand rail when using stairs too. What if I was walking on the left (as you should really) and I care upon you walking on the right. Who should move?
The man was very rude though and shouldn't have shoved you at all.

MySweetLittleTriffid · 14/02/2020 10:16

He shoulder barged you because you wouldn't (couldn't) move out if the way, he's a cock, no two ways about it.

OscarWildesCat · 14/02/2020 10:18

You should have stayed on the left, especially if unable to move for anyone. I thought everyone did this in busy places, it's kind of an unwritten rule.

drivingmisspotty · 14/02/2020 10:19

OMG how very DARE you walk on the ‘wrong’ side and get in the way of the busy MAN. Don’t you know he has something important to go and do that sustains our economy? You were probably just on your way to window shop shoes and handbags. Know your place Hmm

He was a dick. Think no more of him. He should not have pushed into you regardless of which side you were on, whether or not you were able to move, or how bad a day he was having.

trianglular · 14/02/2020 10:20

Well no one can really answer this tbh. You have a condition. He didn't know that. He may also have a condition. You don't know that. Who is to know, think and decide along with the other person which of you should move?

It's a daily thing, almost walking into people. Someone had to move.

GrumpyHoonMain · 14/02/2020 10:23

See shit like this doesn’t happen to big, scary looking ladies like me. He pushed you specifically because he was bigger than you probably - stupid little man. You will probably see him again as this is a daily commute and if you do I suggest a bit of revenge - maybe a trailing bag strap or an ‘accidental’ knock of a heavy bag.

atomicblonde30 · 14/02/2020 10:24

Staying on the left is not a thing where I’m from, in fact I’ve only ever known it in London or Hong Kong. Either way left or right doesn’t give the bloke or anyone else for the matter license to deliberately hurt you.

ThomasHardyPerennial · 14/02/2020 10:25

It has been a total free for all at Leeds station recently. I don't think you did anything wrong op.

NameChange84 · 14/02/2020 10:30

YANBU. Yesterday a well dressed, suited and booted man in his late fifties came charging towards me clearly expecting me to step into the road to let him pass. When I didn’t, and he had to step into the road to get around me, he huffed and puffed in my face and actually roared in frustration.

I don’t know why a significant number men think that women should step aside out of the way for them...like a giant parting of the Red Sea every time men have somewhere to get to.

You did nothing wrong. He is a twat.

SpamChaudFroid · 14/02/2020 10:30

men in general do get stroppy when other people (usually women) don't get out of their way.

And I think this is the crux of the matter. I've been shoulder barged so hard by a man that it nearly had me on my arse, and a bystander stopped to check if I was OK, they were as wtf as I was.

I've since discovered patriarchy chicken Grin

KillingEvenings · 14/02/2020 10:32

Walk on the left, unless it's marked otherwise.

ALSO, give way to people coming up the stairs

So, as you didn't declare that you need to hold the hand rail, YABU

cstaff · 14/02/2020 10:33

I was walking in to work one morning and the path was quite crowded and I didn't see this man - he was early twenties but when he reached me he roared at me "get out of my fucking way". I just looked at him and kept walking as I had been. I guess he didn't like the fact that he had to walk around me. Some people are so rude.

Original poster
rainbowmask · 14/02/2020 10:34

Thank you for the varied responses. I've never noticed a pattern at this station, the stairs are split into two there's always people walking up/down either side. I did try to read the situation but thought as he wasn't holding onto the hand rail he would step aside.

@Shemeanswell yes definitely a colder feel to the place! They keep trying to give me flyers for recommendations on further 'improvements'.

@atomicblonde30 I'm fine thank you, I managed to brace myself a bit so I wasn't pushed too far back thankfully.

OP posts:
1forsorrow · 14/02/2020 10:35

I'm sorry I'm a bit confused. Is there any reason why it would have to be him that moved, maybe he thought he had as much right to be there as you? Obviously shoving you isn't on but perhaps he misjudged the space or something.

Last week I was in a local shopping centre, young man moved to let an older woman (even older than me) come down the stairs. She rudely said, "Well I wasn't going to move." I told her she was rude. The young man was totally bemused and said, "I moved out of her way, what else did she expect."

Do women routinely think it is men who should give way?