To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

[rwalker]

Man bashing a side you went against the norm and expected him to move.
person 1 going in usual direction of flow .
person 2 going in opposite direction of normal flow
person2 should give way
if the rail was that important go on the left like everyone else you were rude .

[Dontdisturbmenow]

I have never, ever experienced this. As a rule, I find women much more rude and aggressive than men
That's definitely my experience to, only here would this issue be turned into a sexist issue.

I experience this issue of who should move out of the way all the time when I am running. I have to avoid kids running around, dogs let off their lead even though this is illegal and owners could be fined, avoid group of people who walks next to each other and block the whole way.

It's just life, most of the time I move around people and animals as much as I can, sometimes I expect people to make way like the scenario above. Yet I get many people who make a point of not moving even when I can't pass them so I have to stop, walk and wait to pass. They clearly do it to be defiant, looking me in the eyes. I just find such people really sad, and laugh at them internally. They must be very unhappy creatures to find a sense of pleasure of feeling they have one over a stranger who is just going on a jog.

[larrygrylls]

Well, most I know (including me) are the polar opposite in that we avoid colliding with someone small in case of hurting them.

The average woman is now 11 stone and 5’3 in the uk, 10lbs heavier than me and only a couple of inches shorter (amazed it is so heavy but that is another thread...).

Your opinion is not a fact.

[larrygrylls]

That was to Tswift

[frumpety]

I have only been aware of the keep left thing when visiting London , where I spend an inordinate amount of time worrying that I am standing in the correct place when going up and down the stairs and escalators in stations.

But that is irrelevant really, nobody should be barging into people in public spaces at all and especially not because the person isn't adhering to some unwritten rule, its just unnecessarily rude and aggressive.

[GameChange123]

OP maybe share this link with Leeds Station to get better signage/ improvement s?

[larrygrylls]

It is sometimes hard to avoid collisions if it is really crowded.

Mostly both people are being polite and it looks like a little dance as both move to the left and to the right together before either stopping or colliding.

If you have not walked down a really busy a London street at about 8AM (assuming Leeds station was similar) it is hard to envisage the sheer density of bodies. I am always amazed that more people don’t walk into one another.

[OpportunityKnocks]

Of course he wbu to barge you. Assume that you are ok?

But he may also have had a hidden disability. but we only have your perspective. Walking on the left in busy environments is pretty standard, especially train stations. So yabu

[OpportunityKnocks]

@frumpety not just London. We had to do this at school!

[MsTSwift]

It only occurred to me it was always me that moved on the one occasion I consciously decided I wasn’t moving as I was carrying groceries. It shocked me how they and I unconsciously assumed I would be the one to move. It obviously bothers you but that’s my lived experience! I was 8 stone 5 6 at the time.

[frumpety]

Ah OpportunityKnocks but was it a southern school ?

[frumpety]

As in south of Sheffield ?

[HandsOffMyLangCleg]

I'm only 5ft 1 and it had become second nature to move out of the way for men until I started reading some of the posts by women on Twitter and MN relating to this (and manspreading on public transport).

Last year I tested this out at an event where a tall male and I were on the same path in opposite directions.

It was obvious he expected me to move (which I would normally have done if I wasn't testing the theory that so many men expect women to make way for them). We nearly collided until he did move and then tutted in disbelief. as if I were a small child (or a lesser being in his eyes - AKA woman).

Try the test. Once you do it you will realise that it is assumed we will budge over.

[larrygrylls]

Hands,

It is a ridiculous test! Unless your hypothesis is men should always move. Ultimately, in your ‘test’, when you were both equally stubborn, the man moved in the end and you didn’t.

Unbiased conclusion from this one piece of evidence: man more likely to move out of the way than woman.

[1forsorrow]

I am disabled and chronically ill. If I am jostled or fall, I also can need months of physio. I have two body work treatments a week as is. I don’t agree with you about going down / up. Going down is far more dangerous. A person has far further to fall. I am scared going down stairs. It depends why you fall, if you fall because people behind are pushing you then definitely walking down is more dangerous, if you are head on with someone the person walking up is in more danger, the person walking down will end up probably sitting on the step behind them but the person walking up will fall backwards down the stairs.

I say this as someone who had a fall on public transport and ended up in hospital for 4 days. Because of my experience I always give way to the person coming up the stairs.

[MsTSwift]

Why are you so upset Larry?! Its TRUE and applies when everyone is in motion when you stop agree it’s the after you no after you dance but when everyone is moving men unconsciously assume women will move and if they don’t - crash!

[1forsorrow]

The vast majority of people I walk into have one thing in common and it is not their sex, it is the fact that they are staring at a phone. That is so true.

[HandsOffMyLangCleg]

Sadly, not a one off test.
I now play Patriarchy Chicken and from numerous pieces of evidence, my conclusion remains the same.

Larry if you are a 5ft1 woman and have successfully managed this - i.e. never found yourself having to be the one that always moves - then please do share your secret.

[larrygrylls]

MsTSwift,

I am not upset at all, pretty chilled in fact.

Just surprised that if you walk straight at a man and, ultimately, he gives way, you see this as evidence of men’s entitlement. I guess you find what you seek....

[HandsOffMyLangCleg]

I spent 46 years giving way and not just at the very last split second. It was my default position to avoid the men that were walking straight at me.

This man was clearly not going to give way - and there was ample time - as he expected me to move for his 'right of way' and very begrudgingly gave way at the last second.

He then tutted to show that he was not pleased.

[BlueJava]

Your situation sometimes happens to me on a certain set of stairs next to work with no L/R convention and I also need the handrail. If someone is coming towards me and we are on a "collision course" I just "Sorry I need the handrail" with a smile they go "oh, no problem" or similar. If they look like they also need a handrail, I wait on the large wide step in the middle until they have passed.

[MsTSwift]

Wasn’t seeking anything no agenda here. Was just a surprise to me that no man moved out of the way when I was walking through a crowd it made me realise I always moved without even thinking about it and if I didn’t it move it caused crashes. If you are a young woman and don’t experience this would be keen to hear how you do it but this is my truth.

[Theflying19]

Don't give him another moment's thought. There are many uncouth and unpleasant people charging around that station. Lots of nice people too of course 🙂💐

[1forsorrow]

Just surprised that if you walk straight at a man and, ultimately, he gives way, you see this as evidence of men’s entitlement. I guess you find what you seek

This is what I can't understand, it sounds like alot of women are the entitled ones.

Generally I find people friendly and more likely to end up with the dance as you both try to move out of the way and find yourself in the same situation just slightly to the left or right. Then follows laughter and you agree which way to go.

Some people seem to find aggression and unpleasantness wherever they go but I guess you must be right, you find what you seek. Bit like people who are almost amazed they find what they are looking for in the last place they look, as if they expect people to go on looking after they find it.

[C8H10N4O2]

Then you acknowledge he has moved for you with a simple - thank you, I need to hold on for balance. It's not hard

Why does someone with a disability have to explain themselves? If someone cheerfully moves aside I'll thank them, someone making a song and dance about it can sod off.

I also need a handrail, I'm forced to play patriarchy chicken. Its very notable to me that women in general move pretty much automatically and men are far less likely to or they make a face about it (and I have a visible sign of disibility so there is no excuse).

London tubes don't have standard rules about stairs. Escalators are stand on the right but most stations have no signage on stairs, where signage does exist it can be right or left depending on the station/turn of the stairs.