To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

What happened to all the Keep Left signs? Used to be standard on escalators and stairs.

God! we're not all like that thanks. I was bought up in a time where it was the done thing to be respectfull to ladies , and i still am:!

No 'you' are not all like that and I personally find most people are respectful of others when they communicate. I hope you are respectful to men too.

I was brought up to be respectful to everyone regardless of sex, age etc. If I was heading for an head on collision with another person I would move (usually find they are respectful too and we end up doing a wee dance as we both try to avoid each other 🤣), unless I couldn't move, then I would communicate. The problems happen when one person feels entitled to a certain behaviour from another without exhibiting the same themselves or communicating their needs.

I go in and out of Leeds station pretty much everyday. Always walk on the left and thought everyone else did too.. never noticed it being a free for all.

But shoving is not acceptable, regardless.

I think lots of (decent) men don’t see/aren’t aware of everyday sexism. I had to explain to my dh why I wanted to consider an all girls school for our dd (the way SOME boys had behaved towards the girls at my mixed school) and he had no idea that that sort of thing happened, because he hadn’t been involved in it himself.

Should have been on the left or used the lift which Leeds has.

Keeping left is a pretty standard 'rule' even if there are no signs.

So why are all underground escalators "please keep to the right"?

Any man who shoves a woman is a dick.

He could’ve also needed to hold on- you can’t expect people to not judge you and your needs when you’ve assumed the same of someone else.

Your time isn’t more valuable than anyone else’s, you could have asserted yourself to not offend.

He was a dick for shoving you though. There’s no need for that.

If you're ever in this situation again scream and collapse when he barges you.....

It was rude of him. And I have a condition which means I have to carefully walk down stairs holding the handrail. It takes quite a bit of concentration so must have been so upsetting for you. Hugs.

At Victoria station the stairs that goes upto the station from the Underground is a free for all. People walking up and down on both sides.

He was a prat though to push into you. Had something similar happen to me as I did not allow a woman to push in a queue and neither did the people behind me. She walked up the escalators and tried to shove me.

All the people saying OP should have been on the left: did you not watch the video she posted of the stairs in question?

Even if you or anyone was in the wrong the twat pushing you has pissed off,I remember being 2 weeks off my due date with a huge belly and I was at a bus stop looking at the planner, I remember the path being incredibly narrow and thinking il move when someone wants past but I need to quickly look at where I'm going, next thing I'd say a tall 6ft4 guy power marched through me like an assault course using his strong arms to bounce me out of the way whilst shouting move! I was in complete shock on the floor and my dad just stared in shock nobody said anything so I hate male aggression! I think if it happens now I'd be chasing after the fucker

”He could’ve also needed to hold on- you can’t expect people to not judge you and your needs when you’ve assumed the same of someone else.“

@Jellybeansincognito - the OP has said that the man wasn’t holding the handrail, so it is reasonable to assume he didn’t need to hold it.

For me it's not so much left/ right, as up/ down. It's much easier generally to move to the side when you're walking down the stairs, because you can see everything. Walking upstairs, your field of vision is greatly reduced. If you ARE looking around you when going upstairs, it'll normally be for a reason (need to hold the railing, struggling to make it, carrying lots of stuff and need a clear path etc).

I think this was probably two people needing to hold onto the same handrail. I need to hold onto the handrail in crowds in case I get jostled (bad joints which I'm very tense about; a gentle knock from the 'wrong' direction can see me in bed for a week and physio for 8 weeks after that). Going downstairs, I would have stopped, made clear I was waiting for a clearing to move to the side on the same step, and then moved back when the man had gone on his way. That's only because I had the advantage going downstairs. If the roles had been reversed I'd have expected the same of him.

But he wasn’t holding the handrail!

@IntermittentParps You met the Pavement Panzer Patrol there.

@7salmonswimming - I cam to exactly the opposite conclusion about who could move aside most safely - because if someone falls going upstairs, they will fall forward onto the stairs, but if they are going down, they could fall a much longer way, and could injure themselves and other people.

But short of setting up an experiment, sending people passing each other and tumbling in all directions, and tallying the number of fractures in both groups, I don’t think we can prove it either way.

Initially you were at fault by breaking the keep left rule irrespective of whether it is implicit or explicit, and whilst he was OK to have a quiet grumble, he was totally out of order to barge into you. You mention a condition that means you must hold on when using stairs, but Leeds has lifts to all platforms from the bridge, so why did you not use the lift if the escalator was kaput?

As an aside, the behaviour that really annoys me is people who step off a bus/train/escalator and immediately stand still, causing panic or much worse to the hordes behind them.

I play patriarchy chicken on the way to work quite often. I actually think it has got a bit better in the past years, or maybe my "don't mess with me" look has improved. If you haven't tried it, I recommend giving it a go. It is quite an eye-opener.

What are your thoughts about those who do do this, Justaboy ? Do you notice?

Yes see them when out and about in fact two barged into me recently one young lady was so engrossed in her mobile phone!

The other a man was riding his bike on the pavement whist gazing at his mobile.

I reckon that mobile phones and the misuse of are a lot to do with accidential pavement collisions!..

He was being a dick but you should have said sorry I can’t move, need the hand rail etc.

No longer a Leeds train commuter (tf) but I was for 6 years and it is beyond frustrating to have some dawdler not keep to the left (especially having been in London for 5yrs) when you’re rushing for a connection because your train was sat outside Leeds waiting to get in for 10 minutes. I have shouted a plenty of people and told them to keep to the flaming left. He should have just done that at which point you could have said, the shove was bang out of order tho.

I’ve been through with pram a few times recently and the lifts are very efficient actually. Maybe use those and you don’t have to brave the stairs. I always found them terrifying as they’re slippy!

@Twiglets18 - did you read all of OP's posts at least? She explained why she didn't say tell him she can't move.

And saying that he should have just shouted at OP to move is rude. If I see someone walking down the stairs using a handrail my reaction is not to shout at them but give them space to walk safely.

If you did that to my mum and I saw you, I would tear strips off you.

Having seen the video on those stairs I’d say YANBU, the escalator is for people going up, stairs for people going down.

If you’re going to use the stairs to go up then you takes your chances - I wouldn’t want to walk against that flow of traffic.

I commute through Birmingham New Street on a regular basis and that’s pretty much keep right on the escalators, so I’d assume the same on the stairs (don’t pay attention to stairs as can’t use them due to dodgy joints) if I did I’d be in the same position as you, once I’m on the stairs I’m not letting go of the handrail unless the person coming up is very obviously in greater need.