To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

[TheNestedIf]

Depends who was on the stairs first if there's no clear directive to walk right or left. If he was already coming up, OP should have taken the other side. If OP was already on the stairs, he shouldn't have aimed at them.

I have sciatica. It infuriates me if I'm moving in a straight line and someone changes trajectory to put themselves on a collision course with me. Whilst I look fairly nimble in a straight line, changing direction or dodging is painful and I'm not doing it just because someone else lacks spatial awareness. And, honestly, I don't find men any worse than women for doing this.

[DCOkeford]

Hmmm, you should really have been on the left, esp as you can't leg go of the rail

Also, people coming uphill generally have right of way over people coming downhill.

I hear you re the Patriarchy Chicken, but on balance YABU.

[TreestumpsAndTrampolines]

Barging into you was flat out wrong, no matter what you're doing.

And whilst I agree walk on the left would seem sensible, given that's where we drive, I've been in loads of stations and other places where people walk on the right. Unwritten rules are really not rules at all.

[drownininplaymobil]

I think if train stations are going to specify that people walk on the left on the stairs (overtaking to the right like you would in a car), then the same should be the case on the escalators in the underground. It's too confusing.

[Disfordarkchocolate]

I find Leeds to be mostly a free for all on the stairs when I use the train station.

It's never polite to barge into someone. I have a dodgy arm, regardless of signs I would be holding onto the rail with my stronger arm/hand. Being on the 'wrong' side doesn't mean that you get to barge into someone.

[cologne4711]

Generally on escalators you stand on the right and walk on the left.

But people drive on the left in the UK so generally pedestrians should adhere to that rule too, but "lane discipline" is awful.

I agree with pps that I've not specifically experienced "patriarchal chicken" - mothers with buggies always seem to think I should walk in the gutter.

I just stop now and make them go round me if they won't go single file.

Last year I was cycling along our local canal towpath (on the left) and a guy came along (on his right). He was clearly not going to move, so I just stopped and said you should be keeping left.

The thing I don't get is why does the OP and most people seem to assume that the man should automatically be the one to move

If someone is holding the handrail I will go round them. Why would you expect them to let go and move? Makes no sense.

[Snog]

He was an aggressive arse

[1forsorrow]

Yanbu. There should be a publicised rule that the person who would come off BETTER if two people collided should always step aside. Anything else is disgusting “survival of the fitness” and has no place in a civilised society. I think is why the person walking down gives way, if they collide the person walking down is likely to end up sitting on the step behind them, the person walking up is likely to fall backwards down the stairs.

[Arthritica]

YADNBU

For heaven’s sake, people, read the thread. Leeds station does NOT have a left/right convention, it’s just chaos. No way should OP have been on the other side. It doesn’t work like that.

You were holding on to a railing, he was walking down with his hands free. He was an asshole not to move, and a bully to shove you. It’s only manners to sidestep someone holding the rail. They’re generally doing it because they need it, not because they like grasping filthy public railings.

Patriarchy chicken at work.

[1forsorrow]

If someone is holding the handrail I will go round them. Why would you expect them to let go and move? Makes no sense. So if you saw a person with say a bag of shopping in one hand and a walking stick in the other you would assume they should walk round you because you are holding the handrail? Or someone with a baby in one arm and a bag on the other? Or even just two bags? Don't you think it might not be that simple.

[Insideimsprinting]

Why didn't you just tell him why you needed to hold on to the rail? It wouldn't have been obvious to him so he probably just thought you were being an arse.

Had you said something he probably would have just moved for you. A lot of conditions aren't obvious so if you need people to accommodate your needs you need to communicate it they're not mind readers!

[rainbowmask]

Okay bit of a weird one, but I was trying to find a picture of the stairs in question and stumbled upon a video of them from 6 days ago (the orange sign on the right is blocking off the broken escelator). Hopefully this shows why I dont think the unwritten rule applies at this station.


www.google.com/maps/uv?hl=en&pb=!1s0x48795c1efdf4eb25%3A0x8a34c051349bc998!3m1!7e115!5sGoogle%20Search!15sCAI&imagekey=!1e10!2sAF1QipO2MD_Tib3YqedjhN7Y1uHO2XMdobfSadE11B-9&viewerState=lb

Short link - bit.ly/2uz6wqZ

[TheNestedIf]

There was a thread only in the last couple of days about toddlers on stairs in the rush hour which brought back bad memories of an already very lengthy commute made worse by people lacking consideration. If only we walked on the left and had and fast/slow lanes like motorways, things would be so much more pleasant. In fact, pedestrian indicators wouldn't be a bad idea either. Not horns, though. Step too far.

[ThomasHardyPerennial]

With the two stairs next to each other, I always thought one was for going up and one for going down. Most people seemed to follow that idea, but it has all gone to shit recently. I agree with previous posters that there is no flow to the station.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

It's like swimming lanes. Someone asked me to get out of the slow lane - well asked the lifeguard to ask me! - as I was too slow (due to a disability, which is obvious) Thanks for that. It took months before I would go swimming again.

[lottiegarbanzo]

Someone assaults you and you ask if you were unreasonable?

He saw you. He deliberately shoved you. Because you didn't get out of his way. What a nasty arsehole.

[banivani]

Old stair etiquette usually decrees (if memory serves) that people going down get the railing, since it's (supposedly) more risky. But this is always mitigated by the exceptions that the railing should be left for whoever uses it most. I'm skipping the rules about giving way to your elders etc.

[WeBuiltCisCityOnSexistRoles]

Also, this is anecdata I know, but on steps whoever I am with generally takes my arm and I go one step at a time. It makes me feel awful as you can imagine the tutting and tailgating - and I would say 90% of it is from men.

(See also, trying to put change and shopping away while someone is sighing, thank fuck for Apple Pay )

[Dontdisturbmenow]

You should have been going down on the left end of. You were in the wrong and yet you are annoyed with him. Doesn't make much sense.

[MissDollyMix]

YANBU. I know Leeds station well enough. For those who don’t - it’s not comparable to London stations where you really do need to stick to one side. Leeds a free for all. More importantly as someone coming down you should usually have priority holding on to the hand rail as there’s a greater risk if you fall and trip.

[SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius]

@1forsorrow - I would assume that the person going up the stairs can move out of the way more safely than the person going down the stairs - especially if that person is holding the handrail (not something you do unless you need to, I'd say). If the person going up the stairs were to become unsteady and fall whilst moving out of the way, they'd fall forwards onto the steps, whereas if the person going down the stairs became unsteady and fell, they would fall down the stairs and could injure themselves - and maybe other people - badly.

Therefore, to answer your question, "...why is everyone assuming he should automatically have been the one to move?" - my answer would be I would assume he should move - not because he is male, but because it would be safer.

[BrokenWing]

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact.

At this point why not just smile and simply say, sorry I need to hold on for balance, and thank him when he moves around you? Everyone leaves happy, much better than making eye contact, no communication and having a stand off where someone feels forced to move and is pissed off, especially when you acknowledge you were possibly on the wrong side.

[cologne4711]

Don't you think it might not be that simple

I don't hold the handrail, I'm the one walking round. People react incredibly slowly to people walking towards them, so I just loop round them. If I coming up behind them on the escalator, I overtake them. But in London, which is where I usually use escalators, there is the stand right, pass on left convention and it generally works. Shops can be a pain because people stand right across the escalators, ditto airports.

In this case the OP was holding the handrail and the man was't elderly with a walking stick or shopping, so it was easy for him to move around her.

[cologne4711]

Anyway it sounds like the main conclusion one should draw from all of this is that National Rail needs to put some signage up at Leeds station telling people side of the escalators to stand on!

[ThomasHardyPerennial]

There are signs on the escalators at Leeds, just not on the stairs.