To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

I have to hold hand rails going downstairs because I'm longsighted with another unusual eye issue (wear glasses for reading) and struggle to see depth going down. I sometimes miss my footing. Going up I know if I fall I will quickly reach the steps in front of me and I find depth perception easier that way anyway as it's straight in front of me. I feel for you OP, I wouldn't have felt confident to leave the rail and would have felt really shaken if someone had physically barged into me. Where is the humanity!

I have no idea what Leeds is like but in a London

Many posters on this thread have explained that in Leeds station it’s not possible to honour the common practice of walking on the right. It’s a free for all. As they’ve said. Next time, read the full thread instead of being rude and disablist to the OP for no justifiable reason.

@Twiglets18 I'm not unsteady on my feet so you can take that condescending tone out of your lecture.

Why should OP get the lefts when she is perfectly capable of taking the stairs? You are no more entitled to the stairs than she is.

Oooof, this threads taking a nasty disabilist turn.

Guess all us disabled folk should just stay at home out of the way of the Very Important People who have to WORK and get there on time.

Apart from, y’know some of us have to work as well and have just as much right to be there as the Very Important People

Why is this even an issue?this happens everyday, multiple times a day to multiple people. Stop thinking about it

I wouldn’t have moved nor would I have apologised, I’m really tired of the way men think they can just stampede people out of their way by using brute force. He absolutely should not have shoved you, are you okay?

This.^

Fucking sick to the back teeth of women having to move for men. They don’t observe the rules, either unspoken or explicitly stated. Yet women are always Expected to or they get hurt. Fuck that.

Sorry you got hurt OP.

@BanjoStarz There is not much that shocks me on MN these days but I am genuinely horrified by the nasty disablist comments now cropping up

@Poohpooh 🙄 of course she has a right to be there, and people have the right to expect her to keep to the left, and to tell her if she doesn’t.

why on earth you’d choose to subject yourself to those stairs if you struggle with stairs in general is beyond me. As I said the shoving was bang out of order tho and the lifts there are excellent.

Fucking sick to the back teeth of women having to move for men. They don’t observe the rules, either unspoken or explicitly stated. Yet women are always Expected to or they get hurt. Fuck that.

I have never, ever experienced this. As a rule, I find women much more rude and aggressive than men.

I can see both here- if the societal usual/norm is that everyone walks down/up one side and that's how the stairs flow- by walking down the opposite one, you're causing a constant decreased flow in traffic. I don't think the sex of the person is important in this case. I would have not moved and assumed your being selfish, if I also need/use the handrail and were doing so on the 'proper' side. Also though without signage- it's like the parking spot outside your house- you don't own it and anyone can use it- much like a handrail. You needed it, and you used it- can understand why you did, but maybe let someone know that why next time, and save yourself being judged?

@7salmonswimming
I am disabled and chronically ill. If I am jostled or fall, I also can need months of physio. I have two body work treatments a week as is. I don’t agree with you about going down / up. Going down is far more dangerous. A person has far further to fall. I am scared going down stairs.

Not being visibly disabled, people don’t understand that I cannot turn my body out of the way and have been bashed against. By this stage I’m too ill to talk to explain why I can’t move. I don’t get out much so I’m talking on the path at school run. I had a rare outing to the shops yesterday. As I left, I was faced with a retired man in my path. He huffed because I didn’t instantly move out of his way. I was also confronted in a confined space by a woman with a trolley, who expected me to back up. That was hard and made me feel iller. I also know a disabled woman, who comes at full pelt on her crutches and expects others to move. She nearly had me over once.

Although I think it’s often men, who expect things, women do too. Especially pram pushers, trolley pushers and some disabled people, who generally have more energy and expect a path clear because they have walking aids and I don’t so look at me as able bodied. I cannot use them btw.

After watching that video yanbu.

People going up should use the escalators.

I’ve been in similar and I’ve always just stopped in my tracks as I’m worried I’ll fall if I let go of the railings to move out of the way.

He was very rude to bump you and not apologise if it was indeed an accident or unavoidable.

These threads come up from time to time.

Often there is talk about the patriarchy and entitled men. Two people collide and there is no clear right of way; they are both equally entitled (or not entitled). Women who think men should always give way are just as bad as men who think women should give way.

In this case there is a commonly observed right of way and the OP did didn’t have it. I must admit I would always go around someone holding a rail, but maybe there wasn’t room.

Op shouldn't have to declare she has a disability to a complete stranger in order to not get barged. Or smile and explain she needs the hand rail. He was completely and totally in the wrong.

In this case there is a commonly observed right of way and the OP did didn’t have it

How many more times do people need to say Leeds station is a free for all?

Remember carrying heavy groceries through crowded Camden and deciding that as I was carrying heavy bags I was not getting out of anyone’s way for once they could go round me. My god how revealing. Man after unencumbered man crashing into me assuming I would take evasive action!

I have never heard the keep left rule so don’t assume everyone has. OP other man was a dick. I am also shocked at some of the nasty ignorant comments on here

Can someone explain to me how you know that, where there is no right of way, one person is clearly in the wrong? I am not sure you would apply that to driving and insurance companies would quickly agree on 50/50.

Does holding on to a rail automatically confer right of way?

Generally both people make small adjustments so as not to collide. If they both want to make a point, they collide. Generally, at walking pace, no real damage done but two big egos satisfied (whether that be the entitled man or the entitled woman, they are both pretty happy with the collision....see above hockey player’s comments).

Personally, I make reasonable adjustments to avoid people but if they are determined to make a point I put my shoulder down and keep walking.

Just a huge coincidence I suppose that when I maintained my straight line in a crowd it was without exception men of all ages who were boinging off me and looking bewildered. It was eye opening tbh. Not an ego thing I had heavy bags they didn’t.

Made me realise I always deferred and got out of the way without even thinking about it and frankly that pissed me off.

Should not worry about a stranger tutting at you.

Yes, an ego thing. You and your shopping were more important than everyone else in the street. How heavy was this shopping that it allowed you to walk but not adjust your direction? So, you intimidated more women than men into making way for her highness with her massive shopping load, way to go!

The vast majority of people I walk into have one thing in common and it is not their sex, it is the fact that they are staring at a phone.

Men automatically and unconsciously assume a slight young woman will get out of their way whatever the circumstances. If you’ve never been a slight young woman you cannot comment. It’s the truth.