To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

I'm in Birmingham and the walking on the left rule is adhered to here, even though it's not written anywhere.

That doesn't excuse him expecting you to move if there was space for him to side step, but you could also have said "sorry, I struggle on stairs and can't move away from the rail".

I was coming onto to say patriarchy chicken @SpamChaudFroid!

No, you’re absolutely right that people walk up & down both sides of the split stairs.

The flow of the place is terrible generally. After you’ve left the barriers you are immediately met with a stream of people walking in front of you. It’s very hard to leave the station quickly without bumping into people. I have wondered how people with disabilities cope.

Patriarchy chicken is a thing. When people barge into me I deliberately drop my shoulder like a rugby player would do to increase the impact on them rather than me. No this is not mature but screw them and I used to play ice hockey so I am ok with physical assertion. Oh and I shout “you have a nice day now” at them too.

He was a cunt for shoving you. I would have told him to fuck off.

I don’t think there is a general rule on stairs. On the tube, you wall on the left side, stand on the right. At Hammersmith station, when you’re leaving the platform, people leaving the platform walk on the left, and people walking down the stairs to the platform are on my right.

But where there’s one staircase and no signs indicating which side to walk on then there are no rules. He expected you get out of his way because you’re merely a woman.

That doesn't excuse him expecting you to move why is that any different to the OP expecting him to move. I understand she has a medical reason but she says it wouldn't be obvious looking at her.

He expected you get out of his way because you’re merely a woman. Why did she expect him to get out of the way.

@1forsorrow he wasn’t holding the handrail (therefore didn’t need it), she was

@1forsorrow don't quote half my comment if you're going to ignore the part where I said she also could've done things differently

There’s a polite phrase, “Excuse me.”

Watch how two women deal with this situation.

It’s almost always men who expect women to make way for them and rudely barge past or knock into women deliberately.

Remember the female jogger deliberately thrown into traffic by a “city gent”?

There is a horrible attitude underlining all of this - that men have right of way all the time and women never do.

That’s why patriarchy chicken even became a thing in the first place.

GiveHerHellFromUs I quoted the bit I was referring to. I will quote whatever is relevant. Everyone is piling on about a man expecting a woman to move, a woman who was expecting him to move. They were as bad as each other in that. The knocking into is different and may or may not be explainable if it was as crowded as has been stated but expecting the other to move was equal.

@1forsorrow

Then he should have stood still or asked OP politely if she could move. Shoving her is COMPLETELY unacceptable.

What a prick to barge you like that, some men are so full of entitlement, they genuinely think they have more right to public space than women do.

Shemeanswell he wasn’t holding the handrail (therefore didn’t need it), she was Where does the OP say he wasn't holding the handrail?

@1forsorrow so you don’t believe OP when she says he shoved her. Why even bother engaging in the thread at all if you can’t take OP at face value? I never get this.

It really isn't just men who expect women to move.
I run a constant gauntlet round my way (a neighbourhood with lots of young families and of narrow pavements and busy roads) of two women, both with massive buggies, walking abreast and expecting me to step into the road for them instead of going single file and stopping their conversation for 30 seconds.

My tip for playing this kind of chicken is don't make eye contact and just keep walking.

@1forsorrow it's not relevant if it's taken out of context

She said in her update he wasn't holding the handrail

Poohpooh, he actually moved, she didn't. She doesn't say she said she couldn't move or asked him to move. Knocking into isn't acceptable, if it is deliberate obviously in a crowded place it can happen accidentally, but why is everyone assuming he should automatically have been the one to move?

Poohpooh I've said it is wrong to shove, barge, push. The thing I don't get is why does the OP and most people seem to assume that the man should automatically be the one to move.

YANBU. and you don't owe an explanation to anyone, it's nobody's business what your medical conditions are. People should be a bit more aware, and consider that perhaps there's a reason why someone has done something different to the norm. If the other side was free and easy for him to pass, he was being even more of a dick by making sure he let you know he wasn't happy.

GiveHerHellFromUs thanks, I missed the update somehow.

Walk on the left, unless it's marked otherwise.

That's not universally the case. Would it not be better to advise people to observe the 'traffic' and follow what people seem to be doing. So if everyone on one side is walking briskly, then don't walk on that side unless you're going to walk briskly. If people are keeping to the right, keep to the right. If they're keeping to the left, keep to the left etc.

@1forsorrow

he actually moved, she didn't. She doesn't say she said she couldn't move or asked him to move. Knocking into isn't acceptable, if it is deliberate obviously in a crowded place it can happen accidentally, but why is everyone assuming he should automatically have been the one to move

I wonder if you realise how revealing your language is? OP says she was shoved, but you keep minimising this as her being ‘knocked into’.

Do you generally disbelieve women as a rule?

And as I said upthread, it was fine for either party to ASK politely for the other to move, not to SHOVE the person out of the way.

Yanbu. There should be a publicised rule that the person who would come off BETTER if two people collided should always step aside. Anything else is disgusting “survival of the fitness” and has no place in a civilised society.

he shouldn’t have barged into you ... doesn’t matter if you were walking the wrong side or not !