To have not moved out of the way for this man?

[rainbowmask]

I commute daily on trains and buses for work, I’m pretty used to the hustle and bustle of it all so can usually get through the busy train station without any problems.

Today I was walking down the stairs on the right hand side holding onto the hand rail. To clarify, as I know walking on the right is often a big no no, this was Leeds station on the main stairs which are pretty much a free for all, there are no arrows or signs asking you to walk on the left. And if you have been to Leeds station recently you’ll know that the down escalator has been out of use for about a month so the stairs are a lot busier than usual. Also to avoid drip feeding, I hold onto the hand rail as I have a chronic condition that can make me unstable (I’m mid 20’s so you wouldn’t expect it by looking at me).

Anyway, half way down the stairs I can see a man in his 40’s walking towards me and we make eye contact. I can tell that he’s wanting me to move to let him past but I don’t move. When we’re about two steps away from each other he grumbles something under his breath (didn’t’ hear what) and moves half a body’s width away, shoving me as his moves past.

Was I unreasonable for not moving out of his way?

[larrygrylls]

Patriarchy chicken/matriarchy chicken, you say tomato, I say Tom-ay-to....it takes two to play chicken.

Do you also drive at men on the road where there is no obvious right of way to make a point?

And, as to the ‘explain your disability’, maybe the guy had a hidden disability too that made him want to be close to the hand rail...who knows. If you find yourself going the wrong way down a one way and cannot get out of the way, you apologise, simple.

I suspect the reality is that most people make adjustments to their position in the road to avoid walking into someone, you just only notice your own adjustments. Were that not the case, there would be more collisions. I always look well ahead and choose a path away from people (e.g close to the road on a pavement).

[Angelf1sh]

I would have assumed you walk on the right not the left, a) because that’s what you do when you’re walking on the road and b) because most people are right-handed and that would put the handrail on the right hand side which ever way you’re walking on the stairs. It seems odd to me to demand people walk on the left, thereby putting the handrail on the left hand side when most people would not naturally use that hand to hold on.

[C8H10N4O2]

And, as to the ‘explain your disability’, maybe the guy had a hidden disability too that made him want to be close to the hand rail...who knows.

My disability is visible. Its still very notably men who tut and expect me to move and women who rarely do. If he had an invisible disability there was nothing to stop him mentioning it as people with such conditions are regularly forced to.

OP has said several times there were no clear signs/instructions as to which side to walk.

Perhaps you mean there was an invisible rule to go with his hypothetical invisible disability. The lengths some people twist to to excuse a man behaving like a man.

[larrygrylls]

Caffeine,

No, I am assuming that there was a stream of people going up one side and down the other and the OP was going against the flow.

I am sure that she was there by accident and the signage was poor but, generally I’m busy places, there is a general one way flow that most observe.

[IfNot]

YADNBU
There IS no rule at Leeds station. Even if there was, what kind of human being barges into someone? Is this the world we live in now, where if someone deems you in the wrong place they can physically assault you?
He wouldn't have done it had you been a man, inadequate fucking coward.

[IfNot]

Larry I weigh about the same as my bloke, maybe half a stone less. He's slight, I'm chunky. He is still much, much stronger than me (and I'm strong for a woman). If he barged into me he could knock me down. If I barged into him it would hurt me more than him.

[C8H10N4O2]

It there was a stream of people going up one side and down the other and the OP was going against the flow

Look at the video, you assumed wrongly.

I am sure that she was there by accident

Patronising.

and the signage was poor

OP has stated there were no signs, perhaps she is just stupid?

but, generally I’m busy places, there is a general one way flow that most observe

A lifetime of commuting in cities tells me this is not true at busy times. other than those few stairways with signs (and then its largely ignored at peak).

But keep on justifying why a rude man was in the right and a woman using the handrail on stairs clearly shown to have no clear right of way was in the wrong.

[Poohpooh]

@larrygrylls

In this case there is a commonly observed right of way and the OP did didn’t have it. I must admit I would always go around someone holding a rail, but maybe there wasn’t room.

Bull shit, there’s no right of way on the Leeds stairs.

And just like your friend @1forsorrow, you refuse to even acknowledge that OP was shoved and excuse the man by saying maybe there was no room. @1forsorrow still hasn’t explained why he thinks OP was ‘knocked into’ and not shoved.

Spare me from ‘friendly’ men if you and @1forrow are examples of it.

[MsTSwift]

The arrogance of dismissing women’s experiences is quite breathtaking isn’t it?! Sure yes I must have imagined my 45 years lived experience . I wouldn’t presume to question say a black mans experience of the world as I am not one but women must be put back in their box. Yep we see you Larry

[larrygrylls]

MsTSwift,

As ever, women accusing men of dismissing women’s ‘lived experiences’ are very quick to dismiss other women’s ‘lived experiences’.

There are at least two women on this thread saying they find other women far more likely to walk into them than men.

Anecdote does not evidence make.

[JacquesHammer]

There are at least two women on this thread saying they find other women far more likely to walk into them than men

So are you saying some anecdotes do make evidence provided it fits with your narrative?

[larrygrylls]

No Jacques,

I am saying that lived experience is only evidence of statistically significant and, if not, pretty meaningless, especially if hard to measure, subject to bias and not consistent.

[Mikeymoo12]

Leeds station is a total free for all hate it there!!

[JacquesHammer]

I am saying that lived experience is only evidence of statistically significant and, if not, pretty meaningless, especially if hard to measure, subject to bias and not consistent

Which of cause is why you brought up other anecdotes

[JacquesHammer]

*course

[Poohpooh]

@MrsTSwift

The arrogance of dismissing women’s experiences is quite breathtaking isn’t it?!

It really is. And after many posts from larry, there is still no acknowledgement that OP was shoved.

It leads me to conclude that he thinks the shove was deserved.

[MsTSwift]

Yep. Uppity women walking round in public and everything and even sharing their experiences! Down with this sort of thing

[Namelesswonder]

Walking on the left isn’t a thing in my station! No one has told us this ‘unwritten rule’

[Ghoulestofmums]

Tagging on - I was walking through the supermarket car park on the pedestrian path this morning. The path is wide enough for two. Coming towards me was a couple and it was the woman who moved into single file so we could pass each other. It struck me, remembering this thread, that in situations like that, ime it is usually the woman who mobes

[Ghoulestofmums]

Moves!

[RUOKHon]

You not walking on the correct side does not give an excuse for this idiot to shoulder barge you.

He would not have behaved that way if you were a man.

That’s how you know YANBU.

[IntermittentParps]

MitziK, yes, they rule our neighbourhood. Except for me. Resist!

[antisnowflake]

I've never heard this walk on the left/right rule. can someone explain it . if your not walking up/down the stairs what else are you doing - i.e what is the other side for ?

Is this rule just in place in london and the likes?

[JuanSheetIsPlenty]

I have never, ever experienced this.

Lucky you?

I’ve never used Leeds, London or any other station so didn’t know until this thread that there was an unspoken rule of keeping to the left. I guess I would deserve to be shoved if I was a tourist or first time user of any of those places using the “wrong” side.

[Winesalot]

I have read through this thread and it seems to me that there is plenty of confusion about this rule. I have lived in London for many years and would like to know when it is applicable. I know the keep right on escalators, Is the Jeep left just stairs? Or is it footpaths in general?

Coming from Sydney, keep left is very much the unwritten, but sometimes suggested at the start of footpaths, rule. If you walk against the flow you end up fighting with briefcases and handbags.

I find that anyone I talk to about it in London thinks I am nut to suggest it. Like I am taking away their freedom. Friends just came back from Vienna and New York and told me it is on the right over there but is followed.

Can someone please explain whether this is a known thing and the ins and outs?