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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Or is this explainable?

18 replies

beckywiththeshithair20 · 07/02/2020 17:56

Early on in mine and dp relationship I found a full unopened packet of condoms in the suitcase he uses whenever we go anywhere - yes I was snooping, my bad. At that time we were quite newly together and I'd just gone on the pill but not sure if he'd got them for precaution or if they'd been there a while. Fast forward six months or so and the packet disappeared from his case. We have never used them and I haven't seen them again.

Rationally I think he probably got rid of them or moved them because we wouldn't be using them. But part of me thinks it's a bit weird that they would just go. Would he have thrown them away? We've been together 3 years and are engaged yet this continues to play on my mind and I feel like I can't ask without admitting I snooped in his case in the first place. I have to add he hasn't been away without me anywhere and id be quite surprised if he had the opportunity to use one never mind a full pack!

Is this odd or do I need a slap?

OP posts:
HugeAckmansWife · 07/02/2020 17:58

Unless you have any other reason to doubt him then yes, get a grip (said kindly). He's either chucked them or they're in the back of a drawer somewhere.

BaronessBomburst · 07/02/2020 17:58

You need a slap. Grin
He's probably chucked them into the back/ bottom of his wardrobe or somesuch place.

AnneLovesGilbert · 07/02/2020 17:59

You don’t need a slap but, to me, it’s odd you remember it and are so bothered by it. Ask him if you need to but he probably won’t remember or simply threw them away.

There’s a reason it’s playing on your mind, maybe explore that.

What do you suspect?

Hennyspennys · 07/02/2020 17:59

I'm sure you don't have anything to worry about with the condoms but YABVVU for using the expression 'my bad'

goldenorbspider · 07/02/2020 17:59

People empty suitcases...op is there more to this? Gut feeling? Strange behaviour. Is this one of many things?

beckywiththeshithair20 · 07/02/2020 18:03

No not really. We don't have the most adventurous sex drive - he claims low libido and I've often wondered (been paranoid) that I don't do it for him. This, along with me being burnt before in the past (not by him), has made me perhaps overly suspicious by nature.

But I don't think I have anything to worry about. He rarely goes out, he hasn't been anywhere overnight without me in three years. But he also very rarely empties that bloody case - there are loads of old odds and ends in there. So I guess I just found it a bit weird that he'd bothered to get rid.

OP posts:
beckywiththeshithair20 · 07/02/2020 18:24

Sorry meant to say 'sex life'

And apologies for the use of 'my bad', my bad 🙈

OP posts:
99problemsandthecatis1 · 07/02/2020 18:25

Posh wanks?

AskingQuestionsAllTheTime · 07/02/2020 18:27

He probably just threw them out when they reached their use-by date.

WorraLiberty · 07/02/2020 18:28

And apologies for the use of 'my bad', my bad 🙈

Brilliant reply! Grin

Maybe he saw they were out of date?

Purpleartichoke · 07/02/2020 18:30

Condoms expire

FlossieTeacakesFurCoat18 · 07/02/2020 18:35

Maybe he got rid of them because he was afraid you'd see them and wonder why he needed them, when you're on the pill?! Grin

beckywiththeshithair20 · 07/02/2020 18:39

Thank you for the replies, I've never been happier to hear that people think I'm wrong

OP posts:
WalkingDeadTrainee · 07/02/2020 18:40

It's been 3 yearsShock

Sparklesocks · 07/02/2020 18:45

In the nicest possible way, you’re talking about a packet of condoms from 3 years ago - which he most likely bought before you even got together, and chucked after you went on the pill. If you’ve had no reason to question his faithfulness since I think you need to let it go.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 07/02/2020 18:50

Maybe they expired.

But to be fair, you're engaged to be married. You can admit you snooped.

freeingNora · 07/02/2020 18:53

Just ask him I would suggest that if you can't have this conversation three years in then you're in the wrong relationship

puds11 · 07/02/2020 18:55

Did he ever go through a phase of making a lot of balloon animals?

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