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AIBU?

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Original poster

to not believe this actually happened!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

24 replies

lucyellensmum · 01/09/2007 15:53

This morning i took DD (aged 2) to the swings. As she was tottering back along the road, i heard a voice behind me say "oooh, my dear, you must never let her lose that lovely little bum wiggle" I turned round open mouthed to be greated by a revolting, fat little man of about 60, with a stupid touristy hat on his head. I was standing there trying to think if i had actually heard him straight and he said "ooh, just look at that" on seeing my stunned, open mouthed expression he said, oh dear, perhaps im just that way? I did no more than put my DD in her push chair and walk off.

I FEEL SICK

Could this have just been an innocent remark from a nice old man who likes children?? If so then i am disgusted with MYSELF for thinking otherwise. "just that way?" what fucking way? sick perverted way? I mean, i was/am really upset about this. As i say, i was left agog, i didnt know what to say, i said nothing, i did mutter "freak" under my breath as he walked off grinning his head off. Is it just me? He looked like fucking benny hill which made it worse, it was almost comical - but i am horrified that someone can make such a comment about my lovely innocent little girl, who yes, looked adorably cute tottering along the road holding on to upsy daisy doll, have i misread this? I really hope i have actually.

OP posts:
MerryMarigold · 01/09/2007 15:57

To be honest, I have thought that about my own ds. He has SUCH a cute bum wiggle! I wouldn't say it about someone else's kid though...

Maybe it was innocent, maybe not (more likely it was innocent, I don't think pervs are that open). Even if it wasn't then you need to detach yourself and see it as HIS problem and not yours. I'm sure you will not let your little girl go to the park alone anyway.

flightattendant · 01/09/2007 15:58

Sorry but he does sound like someone society would be a happier place without...

Poor you, how horrible to have this happen.

flightattendant · 01/09/2007 16:00

But reading it again, more stupid than malicious iyswim.

Caroline1852 · 01/09/2007 16:00

I would report him to the police.
Words alone can amount to an assault (and actually just silence can be an assault R v Ireland, R v Burstow (1997)where silent phone calls amounted to an assault).
If it made you feel uncomfortable and harrassed then you should defo report him.
He sounds horrible.

JeremyVile · 01/09/2007 16:02

What MerryMarigold said.

mummytoamonkey · 01/09/2007 16:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Aitch · 01/09/2007 16:13

i'm sure when i was a kid my dad used to tickle my wiggly bottom, it didn't mean he was a pervert. i really wouldn't make to much of it, tbh. not the best start to the day but apart from that...

hatwoman · 01/09/2007 16:15

hmm tbh if he was a raving and predatory paedo one would assume he;'d take some basic steps to hide his propensities. a paedo would be far more likely to engage your dd in conversation about her ice cream/pink bicycle/doll and find out her name. I think it was an out of touch duffer who opened his mouth without putting his brain in gear.

pyjamagirl · 01/09/2007 16:19

I think it's more a stupid remark than anything more sinister.
I was told yesterday by a so called friend that maybe DD2 was "my token lesbian"
cos she wated a dr who scooter for her bday
ffs she is only just 6
the friend soon backtracked when she was greeted with an icy silence down the phone
honestly i think some people dont engage brain before mouth

WideWebWitch · 01/09/2007 16:20

Agree with Hatwoman.

NurseyJo · 01/09/2007 16:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 01/09/2007 16:41

yes, im sure it was just stupidity, i didnt say anything to the man, i was too stunned to speak, i just didnt know what to say. But actually it was more his comment, oh, perhaps im just that way, made my skin crawl. Of course no harm done, but to think someone might be having those thoughts about my dd, it makes me want to puke.

I agree with those of you though who say this was most likely not a peadophile as he was not clandestine about his comment in any way. But now im questioning if my horrified look has now made a poor old man feel bad about himself. Oh god.

My poor old dad ADORED children and actualy got himself into trouble once. Its a funny but sad story really. My dad worked for the railway and had a very distinctive orange overall. One day on his way home from work he was joking around with a little girl (hmm, about 8 i guess ) from down his road. I think they were having a race or something. Anyway, he said he must have pretended to make a grab for her, and she ran off home, laughing etc. Before my dad got to his front door, about 400 yards further down the road, a police car screeched to a halt in front of him to question him about this incident. It seems a lady had observed this and was concerned and phoned the police. My Dad was a little embarrased when they told him what had happened but took the police to the little girls house, who's mother was a family friend so they could see there was no harm. The police were apologetic, but as my dad said, rather someone err on the side of caution and waste 5 minutes of police time than a tradegy to occur. As i said, he loved children and would always talk to them I would try and tell him not to do this as it might be misunderstood. BUT what happened to me today was different i think.

I wont be reporting this though, as i do think it was a highly inappropriate but probably innocent comment.

OP posts:
SecondhandRose · 01/09/2007 16:45

You can always look out for him next time you are at the park to see if he is hanging around the children. But he might be perfectly innocent. Take a sneaky photo of him with your phone if you see him again.

hatwoman · 01/09/2007 17:42

my mum has always speculated that my grandfather would these days get reported to the police. he too adored children and in parks or beaches he would end up surrounded by them, entertaining them with jokes and games and - apparently - buying them ice creams!

flightattendant · 01/09/2007 18:17

I love ds1's bottom, and often squeeze it or pretend-smack it as he is running upstairs in front of me. It makes him laugh.
I sometimes wonder if I was a dad and he was a little girl, if it might be seen as inappropriate? I mean I never would touch his willy or anything

mummytoamonkey · 01/09/2007 18:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EscapeFrom · 01/09/2007 18:37

He probably meant that funny teeter totter toddlers do.

superalienstitch · 01/09/2007 18:47

i think he's just a astupid sad little man.

i agree with the posters who say that had he been a padtofphile he wou8ldnt have been so obviousl

Difers · 01/09/2007 21:43

I have known a real paedophile and in my opinion a call to the local police station would not go amiss in this instance. You don't actually need to make a formal complaint but the local police may check the park more frequently or he may already be known to them. Your gut feeling make you feel sick as did mine when I first encountered the paedophile. Do not hestitate to call them please.

Nightynight · 01/09/2007 22:08

In our house, the word bum isnt said a lot, so this comment would sound weird. I mean we use the word where it needs to be used, but we wouldnt go around commenting on a "bum wiggle"

I certainly would find it intrusive and odd for a strange man to comment on any of my children's bottoms.

Caroline1852 · 01/09/2007 23:44

Difers - I agree with you.
There is no harm in reporting the matter to the police. Maybe they know about him already. It is then up to them if they want to take the matter further. It could well be innocent and in that instance I would be sorry for troubling the old duffer. To be honest I would go with your gut instinct and not listen to us on here. We were not there. It is not WHAT was said, it is the fact that it made you feel so uncomfortable and felt all wrong and alarming that makes me think it is worth reporting. But as I say, I was not there.

JuBug · 02/09/2007 00:00

That phrase as far as I can read is not down to adoring little kiddies (like most do) - it is abnormal due to the word fragmenation

Worry yourself as much as u think u should without going overboard. Yr child is a special possession for only so long - if u have any doubt - do soemthing about it honey

Original poster
lucyellensmum · 02/09/2007 08:53

flightattendant, it is sad that we have to feel this way, i often say my DD has a gorgeous bum and offer daddy a penny a smack

OP posts:
glitterchick · 02/09/2007 11:06

I would be horified if I was in the same situation as you. In todays society unfortunately you can't trust anyone. What a dip shit.

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