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Fetish boyfriend disrespect

4 replies

Wheetabix · 18/01/2020 09:29

Okay so me and my boyfriend have been together on and off for about 2 years. He has a foot, heel and Ball busting fetishism which I've never had a problem with but I've found out he's been searching for images of celebrities with heels and degrading quotes like 'crush his balls' 'youre not a man, I'm going to make you mine'
I'm certainly not a dominant person in bed but I am not opposed to it either, I feel I am open minded.
I've given him foot jobs and let him suck my toes, use them during sex etc. I don't feel I haven't tried to accommodate his need.
I don't wear heels very much and he's openly expressed he would like it if I did more often (but to me that defies the point of wearing what I want)
He wasn't open about the pictures he was oogling. When I questioned him why do you need to search this? His answer was 'he doesn't remember' doing it' lol alarm bells?
What's even worse, we have a child together, unfortunately she passed away at a day old and he was in hospital with me searching for them pictures 3 DAYS after her death, that feels the most utterly disrespectful disgusting behaviour of it all. I was in pain (csection baby) and greiving, he was looking for sexual gratification????!!!!
Funny thing is I wouldn't have a problem getting on the kinky side, but he doesn't seem interested or inquire about mine. Feels like I give and he takes. I don't want to stop his fetish, but he hasn't been open enough with me
Is there any relationship worth saving ?though I think I may of answered this for myself after writing this😣

OP posts:
alifelived · 18/01/2020 09:31
Confused
CripsSandwiches · 18/01/2020 09:33

I'm so sorry for your loss op how horrible.

With regards to the fetish I once had a partner with a fetish (not the same as your partner). I wouldn't have had a problem with him googling images related to his fetish as I wouldn't distinguish it from porn which I have no problem with (as long as it's legal). My ex definitely used his fetish as a stress release so that might explain why he was looking for images in the hospital. Ultimately I found the fetish a turn off but it wasn't my ex's fault it was just something that made us incompatible.

ZaZathecat · 18/01/2020 09:34

Yes you have answered it for yourself. There is no point going forward with this relationship.

AngelsSins · 18/01/2020 09:56

I’m so sorry for you and your little girl OP, I can’t imagine going through anything more painful, please do look after yourself and take any help you need.

I was married to a man with a fetish, I find they get VERY selfish, the more you give, the more they expect, sex becomes all about them and what they want. It’s not a dynamic I would ever enter again, it ruins your self esteem too because you end up feeling like you could be anyone, it’s not YOU they want.

I would take some time to think about if he is really the one for you, if you can really deal with this for the rest of your life.

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