I’m the youngest of two. My sister and I have never really got along in all the time I can remember. However nothing really unusual the occasional bicker and fight when we were younger but nothing untoward until about 10 years ago. I think my sister is a very negative person, she always seems to be moaning about something or bad mouthing some one or criticising how someone has done something. This negativity is draining me and has been draining me for a long time. Last year I decided to bite the bullet and buy my own house at 21 with my boyfriend of 6 years, of course she wasn’t happy for me. She couldn’t understand why I had bought a house and moved out, she couldn’t understand why I had moved 3 miles down the road - of course she had nothing positive to say. My mum was extremely proud of me as she knows how hard I had worked to get my house; working 2 jobs at 70+ hours a week but my sister convinced my mum that she was favouring me over her because she would talk about my house and my new life. Of course my mum then felt guilty and now barely speaks about anything going on in my life to the rest of the family to keep the peace. Although this is sad, it doesn’t bother me too much as I completely understand why my mum doesn’t really speak about me because she doesn’t want the upheaval of it all but what does upset me is the affect my sister is having on the family - them walking on eggshells having to refrain from talking about what they actually want to, having to be bossed around by her just to keep the peace, my mum having to put up with being sworn at and constantly being told she is favouring me or is an idiot. I can see the effect it is having on my mum and I hate it. My grandparents always seem to make excuses for my sister and so my mum doesn’t even feel like she can confide in them, they often will say it’s because mum favours me. Although I do think mum favours me, I think this is because of my sisters actions towards my mum. My mum has often said if she was nicer she would have nicer things to say about her. My sister has no friends and is abit of a recluse apart from going to work. I can understand that she probably feels depressed and jealous but I believe that there’s only one person who can help and that’s her and if she isn’t willing to get help or make positive changes then there is only so much support I can give her. I’ve always tried to make an effort and get her out the house to go shopping etc but now I am reluctant to spend time with her because she is having such a negative effect on my mental health. I dread seeing her and hearing what negative things she has to say about me or being on edge at what mood she will be in today.
Has anyone dealt with a sibling like this and what has helped? Sorry for the long post.