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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want to use the baby changing room?

23 replies

theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 09:37

ok, i'm genuinely curious as to whether i was out of order or not...

picture the scene - very busy McDonalds restaurant on the A303 services. queue for the ladies' loo. disabled toilet and baby change next to the ladies' loo. me with ds with full nappy. disabled loo/baby change occupied so i wait until free. i have looked around and seen that there are no other people requiring wheelchair access/baby change facilities, just a line of ladies needing the loo so i head for the open door. lady with a little girl aged about 8 snaps, "We were here first!" so i said, "I'm sorry, i didn't realise she was still in nappies." Cue massive, sweary rant from her (in front of her daughter!! ) i said, "If you've got a problem then maybe you should speak to the manager," and nipped in and changed ds' bum.

was i being out of order? i thought that disabled/baby change facilities were there for the primary use of wheelchair users/people with babies! i mean, sure, if there's no-one else using the disabled loo and a long queue for the ladies' then nip in by all means, but i would always assume priority was given to the people who needed it the most? or was i wrong? argh! too much self-doubt!!

OP posts:
MightyMoosh · 19/08/2007 09:48

no you were right i think evil woman was giving in to that urge we all have to moan and yell after a long day, just feel sorry for her kiddie and move on.

hertsnessex · 19/08/2007 09:53

yanbu.

cx

Original poster
theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 10:08

mightymoosh - you're probably right, the traffic was horrendous!! actually, with hindsight, i probably could've let her go first, she probably would've taken less time than me, but then would i have had to let the whole queue of people go first?? self-doubt creeping back in...

OP posts:
cornsilk · 19/08/2007 10:19

baby changing rooms are for babies. yanbu - she was.

GodzillasBumcheek · 19/08/2007 10:25

Maybe it was the woman who was in nappies? She certainly sounds like a baby (except the swearing of course).

CantSleepWontSleep · 19/08/2007 10:29

YANBU

geekymummy · 19/08/2007 10:40

YANBU. The other mum sounds like a right cow.

wolveschick · 19/08/2007 10:44

YANBU-it amazes me the number of parents with kids of about 8 who park in the baby and toddler car parking spaces everywhere as wel. This is in same category. She was totally in the wrong. I wouldnt take my 5 year old in that room as she is 5 and able to use the normal loo.

handlemecarefully · 19/08/2007 10:46

These facilities are primarly for disabled users, secondarily for parents with babies, and not at all for anyone else

j20baby · 19/08/2007 10:49

yanbu-however i did take dd aged 7 in the Asda one the other day because she had the runs, and it had a seperate toilet in it and wetwipes(which we needed) i did share it with a nappy changing lady though, and it wasn't disabled, it was a mother and baby cublicle iykwim. she was ok about it, apart from we used alll the wetwipes, so i had to go and ask for some more for her. dd was mortified

lucykate · 19/08/2007 10:52

i could understand the other woman's behaviour if her dd is anything like mine, and waits until she is absolutely desperate before going to the loo, but, if that was the case, she could have been much more polite about it. i often have to beg to queue jump with dd as she can't hold on any longer.

otherwise, no yanbu. wonder if she would have ranted like that if it had been a disabled person waiting to use the loo?

MyMILisDoloresUmbridge · 19/08/2007 11:41

YANBU, she sounds like a loon!

LucyJones · 19/08/2007 11:44

on face value yanbu but.... maybe her 8 year old was disabled?

Peachy · 19/08/2007 11:44

Well I would take my 4 year old in as he is in nappies, and disabled loos are there for people with ANY disability, not just wheelchair users (As the Mum of a 7.5 year old who gets only a minute or so warning before he has an acident and is registered ASD)

But basically YANBU and this woman was just one of THEM (the freaks we all encounter)

gess · 19/08/2007 11:46

Was her dd in nappies? If she was then YABU, if she wasn't then YANBU.

MightyMoosh · 19/08/2007 11:46

If she or her child was disabled, she should have been in the cubicle using the loo! Not queing and mouthing off. She cant change her mind on waiting for the loo to using the disabled one just because someone used it!

gess · 19/08/2007 11:51

I thought the toilet was occupied. I would double queue because ds1 can't queue so would take whichever option came first. Would prefer disabled as it's hard to fit an 8 year old in a cubicle with me and he looks under toilet doors which a) looks odd and b) tends to piss people off and c) the floors are dirty but would use cubicles.

Probably she was a random nutter, but because response is definitely odd (I mean a baby is pretty obvious) do wonder slightly.

Original poster
theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 14:39

gess - if she had said to me, "I'm sorry, but my dd is desperate and can't wait a second longer," i would've said, "Of course, please, go for it." it was the way she suddenly erupted into foul mouthed rage that put my back up!!

and i agree - disabled toilets are primarily for disabled people, and for babies secondarily.

OP posts:
tigerschick · 19/08/2007 14:46

YANBU - especially if, as mightymoosh said, she was in the queue for the general loos. What was her problem? That's like a woman getting cross with a man when he went in the gents while she was waiting for the ladies.

ChippyMinton · 19/08/2007 15:24

YANBU in using it - presumably if the woman had wanted to use it she would've nipped in first?

But there was no need to be rude and insulting to her and her daughter with you nappy comment.

MightyMoosh · 19/08/2007 15:28

Its rude language or even body language that puts your back up and puts you on the offensive! What did she hope to achieve? Had she been nice or even just a bit indignant any normal person would have responded well!

Original poster
theUrbanDryad · 19/08/2007 15:43

chippy - it was a genuine question - i know (from MN) that there are some older children who may still be in nappies for whatever reason. if she had said, "Actually, yes, she is, and we were here first," i would've given way with good grace!!

OP posts:
ChippyMinton · 19/08/2007 15:47

Mind you, I'm not the person to talk, I have been known to fly off the handle with complete strangers

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