Help - is my mum totally unreasonable or is it me!

[Bertiebrighteyes]

Would appreciate some feedback here and also nice to get off chest!

I offered to look after my neices whilst SIL did her cleaning jobs yest am. Went to her house as was going on to lunch round a friends straight after who lives nearby.

Rang my mum and asked if she fancied popping up to see her 3 grandchildren, and she came round and we had a good chat. Kids playing nicely. Anyway SIL had said she would be back for 11.45, and i had arranged to get to friends at 12.30. She still wasnt back at 12, so i told DD to get her stuff together so we could nip straight off when SIL came back, to which mum says "oh you cant WAIT to rush off can you", to which i replied "well i am seeing friend whom havent seen for ages and dont want to be late!" Anyway another 10 mins later i say to mum "would you mind hanging on for SIL and ill nip off else will be late", to which she replied "no, you will have to be late and she grabbed her bag, announced that i had only asked her to come up so i could manipulate her into looking after kids - said she had to put Dads lunch on and left.

I was quite upset by this, as always
help her out if i could. Now dont even feel like ringing her this weekend, and she will never admit she was being unhelpful - she will just want to carry on as normal. It was her 3 grandchildren ffs.
Help - was i expecting too much?

sh was being rather huffy

i don't think YABU, but it was you that sil sked to look after DC so if she was late, it sort of falls to you to hang on IYKWIM

twas your SIL who WBU

she obviously took it that you had used her as a fall back in case sil was late back.

Do you see your mum often?

Hi. I think both your mum and your SIL were being unreasonable. As you were doing your SIL a favour, she should have made sure that she was back for 11.45am. I think your mum could have offered to stay on a bit longer as you had made it clear you had to leave to meet your friend. They are HER grandchildren after all. I don't think you were being unreasonable. What time did your SIL eventually get back.

SIL was being unreasonable and yor Mum was also.
I wouldn't offer next time.

Funnily enough she got back 10 mins later, and then felt really bad cos she had caused the situation. Then i felt bad for making her feel bad and we concluded that mum/MIL is a law unto herself!! Think the nail was hit on the head by dropdeadfred - she really thought she was being used as a fall back. Yes see her about 3 times a week and wouldnt think twice about doing the same for her had the situation been reversed. My mum would never apologise to me tho or admit she could have been in the wrong, so its good to hear unbiased opinions...

Goodness! How unreasonable is your mum. Unless you do that to her quite often (or seem to), I don't understand why she should choose to see it that way. It's very odd that any reasonable person would choose to the most confrontational and negative conclusion without giving the benefit of doubt.
Like you said, it was an opportunity to see her 3 grandchildren and you both had a nice chat!

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