Not wanting to entertain dp's ex in-laws?

11 replies

florrief · 15/08/2007 22:23

Dp wants to invite ex SIL and family for a BBQ in a couple of weeks. They live quite a distance away and are visiting his ex at the same time.
We've been together 7 years now and I was brow-beaten into the same thing about 5 years ago but really don't think it's fair.
AM I being unreasonable?? (What a great thread title - wish I'd found it before now!)

OP posts:

fingerwoman · 15/08/2007 22:25

yes, I think you're being a bit unreasonable.

is it because it's the ex SIL? or just because you don't want to entertain?

babyblue2 · 15/08/2007 22:27

IMO YANBU. I wouldn't want ex family around but thats just me, DH would feel the same too.

HonoriaGlossop · 15/08/2007 22:29

I guess he still thinks of them as friends? If so, then YABU. Why don't you think it's fair?

peanutbear · 15/08/2007 22:31

no I dont think your being unreasonable if you don't get on with them

SpeccieSeccie · 15/08/2007 22:31

No IMO YANBU. Unless your DP has dcs with his ex (and ex-SIL is therefore their aunt) then I wouldn't agree to this. I think cutting off exes and their families pretty much completely is usually the best scenario for most relationships. Often sad but generally for the best.

MyTwopenceworth · 15/08/2007 22:32

Well, how do they treat you?

If they are rude to you in any way, then I think you should not entertain them - you should not have to deal with anyone who is disrespectful to you, certainly not in your own home.

However, if they treat you well, then you may just have to accept that they are his friends. does he have any mates from when he was with his ex? Do you have a problem with them? Can you not just see it like that?

wheresthehamster · 15/08/2007 22:34

I'm still friendly with my ex-ILs after 24 years with DP. He accepts they mean a lot to me although I don't see them so much now.

Dp and and I used to go out regularly as a foursome with my ex-SIL and her boyfriend many years ago.

They were near the top of the list for DP to phone when DD1 was born.

I never gave it a thought that he might not like it!

Genidef · 15/08/2007 23:29

I would want to know how they treat you too -if fine, and it's once every five years as you indicate in the OP, I would go along with it.

cylon · 15/08/2007 23:32

depends on his relationship to them. their attitude towards you etc etc etc
i wont have current sil over if i can help it. (but that's because they have been so nasty to me in th epast.) let alone ex!

3andnomore · 15/08/2007 23:46

hm...difficult to say as you don't go much into details...i.e you mention a visit like 5 years ago....what happened then, what was the situation then, and also has this situation changed?

TotalChaos · 15/08/2007 23:47

agree with MTPW. If they are his friends, and treat you with respect then YABU.

Flip