Aibu or is friend?

[Bigmacca]

She had a baby around 3 months ago. We used to be in touch almost every day but obviously ptorities have changed since having her LO. I sent congrats on birth and said happy to help with anything so just call. Have been in touch on and off since then but if I’m honest don’t make as much of an effort anymore and neither does she. My life has got v busy in the meantime also. She seems quite hurt by this, Aibu to chalk it up to one of those things?

She's likely overwhelmed by the massive change in her life. A friend seemingly withdrawing can feel very hurtful. Being a new mum can be isolating and though she's not being forward maybe she's struggling with the change.

No, both of your priorities are equally as important. You shouldn’t feel guilty for having a life.
I suspect your friend, depending on the type of person she is, is either a) feeling sad at the big changes happening in her life and misses you or b) feels her situation is more important and you should be making more effort with her.

Do bear in mind that if she is struggling, she may not feel able to say so. After all, motherhood and babies are painted to be the most wonderful thing ever and anyone who finds it hard is an evil witch and unfit mother. Any birth injury is dismissed because 'but it's all worth it'. PND is dismissed as 'oh it's just baby blues'.

If you have a spare 10 mins and you're near a nice shop, buy a nice card. Not a baby-related one, one featuring a design SHE will like. Write that you're sorry you've been so busy but you just want her to know that you'll always be there if needed. Of course, you can do all this on the phone or email but a tangible item is nice, it's a little something for her and her alone. It says that someone went to a little effort for her.

Sorry if that sounds really tacky and cheesy.

You say you've been in touch on and off. Does she expect you to be the one getting in touch all the time or is it equal? If yes to the former, she is BU to be hurt.

Tbh Mephisto it’s the former. I am pushing back a bit because I feel like, even though she would reply, it was always me asking after her. The only comms I get from her are LO related updates/pictures

Have you actually seen her? it sounds like it's just been texts?