Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

Original poster

DD appears to be having a MH break down

22 replies

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 00:33

I posted earlier this evening because 8 yo DD was tantruming about food

she has been screaming since then, pretty much since Friday. she has thrown everything out of her room. neighbours have banged on the wall

I need to get her calmed down and I can't. what shall I do? will 111 be able to help? any one dealt with this? she keeps taking the knives

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 00:34

background of anxiety/PTSD/OCD following bullying in reception and yr1

OP posts:

GrumpyHoonMain · 20/10/2019 00:36

999 is better positioned able to help.

Jollitwiglet · 20/10/2019 00:36

If she is taking knives and you believe she may be a danger to herself or others, you need to phone 999

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 20/10/2019 00:39

Haven't seen your first post OP, but 111 would be able to offer advice and signpost you. Have you got support? Or is it just you and DD x

Aridane · 20/10/2019 00:39

999

Broken11Girl · 20/10/2019 00:43

Yep 111 - they will be able to advise on mental health crisis services in your area. There might not be much out of hours, in which case they will send an ambulance, or ask you to take her to A&E if you can (may not be the best idea, tell them you don't feel qualified to keep her safe on the way if you don't, at least have another adult with you). I'm just thinking an ambulance and/ or police turning up will be scary for her. Otoh maybe necessary. Start with 111 and

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 00:45

thanks everyone. she asleep. FFS. that was scarry as hell

OP posts:

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 20/10/2019 00:50

Get yourself a drink... Has she done anything like this before? At school or anything?

goodwinter · 20/10/2019 00:53

Is she getting any help with her issues OP? Would recommend a visit to the GP/CAMHS referral.

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 00:55

she has a little scream most nights at bed time but not to this extent. I couldn't get near her and it went on and in and in. she turned the living room and her bedroom inside out.

she eventually sat on the sofa next to me and has fallen asleep on my shoulder. so I'm a bit stuck and shell-shocked

she has school refused ALL this week. it's clearly not a good time for her. I have no idea how to help her though

OP posts:

Chescascurious · 20/10/2019 01:00

Get her to the doctors asap I would say. Something is clearly wrong, and she needs help. Glad she's asleep now, it must have been hard for you to watch

funnylittlefloozie · 20/10/2019 01:00

You need professionals. Is she under CAMHS? My DD had a terrifying panic attack when she was 12, and i called 999. They didnt take her to hosp, because she didnt want to go and seemed ok, but the paramedic was wonderful with her and did an incredible job of calming her and sorting her out for a bit.

ToodlesnOOdleSAR · 20/10/2019 01:05

Definitely go to the GP, you and your daughter need support 💐

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 01:10

she sees a psychologist. I pay privately and CAHMS refused GP referral. it doesn't seem to help much

OP posts:

SjuperWolef · 20/10/2019 01:14

try GP referral again. took me three referrals to get my dd in and turns out not just an angry, violent, kid but an anxiety riddled asd/adhd kid. not saying thats what your dd has just that camhs are refusing so many referrals due to funding cuts that its easy to slip through the net.

WorriedSENMum · 20/10/2019 02:07

Take her to A&E & explain what has happened. Don't leave until you have seen a mental health professional. Good luck!

kateandme · 20/10/2019 02:17

i dont know your home set up and of course you ned future long term help but in the meantime...
is there somewhere in the house you cna sort out with her when she feels unsafe or out of control?can you talk to her.dont accus or judge right now if she cant explain or help hasnt gotten to why this is ahppening but try and think what to do when they do.so could there be a place she goes when she fels she is getting too panicky,out of control or angry.a room?a corner of the house. and there you cna know she needs to be alone/needs time and then for you to go to her after a certain time etc.
can you have a buzz word or sentence she says when she feel her emotions going out of wack.she could then text/whatsapp/write this word down to you and then you know what to do or that she is feeling unsafe and needs more support.
could she has a feelings or tool kit box.so in it could be a favourite set of pictures.some meditation techniques.some inpiration or safe quotes.a cuddly toy.then when she is eeling these unsafe emotion you can try the toolbox.
keep pushing for help.
is there any words or sentences that you can get into your script in these moments.there are often lines or words that can break through the wall she is seeing through her fear.and deff words of things that dont help!
create a spider diagram.how does she feel when things like tonight happens.unsafe.out of control.angry.worthless etc etc.then talk her through them,dispell them or just acknowledge them.then make a spider diagram of postives.all the things she lvoes.all the things you love about her.all the things that make her feel calm and happy?

Seahorseshoe · 20/10/2019 03:14

Go back to the GP. Get it recorded down. If they don't know what's happening, they can't help.

8 is very young to be so distressed on a regular basis. You both need help and support.

It might be worth videoing some of her behaviour to show the professionals how out of control she becomes. You need to do something about the knives. They need to be out of her reach.

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 09:09

@seahorse videoing it is a great idea. I don't think the GP/school/therapist believe/understand how bad it gets

she has woken up in much the same frame of mind, on the edge. she is watching TV. I know it's not a great solution, but it gives me a bit of down time. this is such a miserable way to live

@kateandme thanks for the ideas. the problem is that she pushes away all the useful tools/techniques, she won't engage at all. we have a great CBT based book that the therapist gave us about anxiety. but when it got to the 'how to help' part, she wouldn't read anymore. she has taught us visualisation techniques, but when dde has 'lost it' if I mention them, it incites more rage. and although I can't touch her, she won't be alone. I try to walk away but she follows me. I am the focus of her rage and she swears and screams at me. but wants to do that iyswim.

that said, when there was a break in the storm last night, I started to talk about the friends we visited last weekend and a specific car journey where she had her head out of the window/wind blowing in her face. she was asleep in minutes. but I very much have to WAIT for a quiet moment. I can't create that initial pause

shit, this is awful. and I need to apologise to the neighbours

OP posts:

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 09:10

I'm going to try the tool box though and the spider diagrams

OP posts:

funnylittlefloozie · 20/10/2019 09:11

In the short-term, go to B&Q this morning, and buy a cabinet lock. Clear one of your kitchen cabinets or drawers, fit the lock to it, and keep ALL your knives, scissors, razors, etc in it.

I am sorry you're going through this, and i have been exactly where you have been, with a terribly distressed self-harming child. Please feel free to PM me if you want to talk.

Original poster

Rocktheboot · 20/10/2019 09:19

@funnylittlefloozie good idea. I have no idea what her intention was with the knives. she didn't say anything about it, she wasn't threatening to hurt me, her sister or herself. she was trying to collect them covertly. I say her hide something in her bedroom. I thought she had taken my phone and when I went to look, it was knives and scissors

OP posts:

Flip