Would you want to know?

[Wonderhowidfeel]

So I'm just sat holding my sleepy poorly little boy and playing on here!

Just read another thread and it got me thinking. I've noticed on here that it a woman says she is having an affair with a married man posters tend to say not to tell the wife as that's getting more involved and to end things immediately. Obviously I agree end things straight away but I also think the wife should be told? Am I alone in thinking this?

If my husband was having an affair I'd want to know...even if that meant being told by the OW.

AIBU?

Not trying to be goady etc I'm genuinely intrigued by people's views :-)

If I was aware someone was cheating I would not tell, it wouldn't matter if it was me they were cheating with I still wouldn't tell.

I can't articulate why though because I honestly don't know the answer, it's just my instinctive belief not to tell. Perhaps it's a personality thing, those with certain traits would tell and those without said traits would not tell? I don't know to be fair, I just know I would never ever inform a woman/man that their respective partner was cheating on them.

I agree I would like to be told. Other people knowing and choosing not to share the information with me seems like another betrayal.

@WagtailRobin I think that's why I started thinking about it because my gut instinct is to just stay out of it completely however my personal wishes would be that I would want to know if I was the wife. So I guess I'm being a bit hypocritical !

@Peakypolly yes I think I'd feel a bit of betrayed if dh had an affair that lots of people knew about and didn't tell me.