To think my neighbour is a twat

[HomeIsWhereTheHammerIs]

Lighthearted Well, sort of....

My NDN has literally been hammering/drilling/possibly building a fucking ark ALL weekend on the same part of the wall. It is so loud it is even drowning out the sound of the children bickering, so it must be excessive.

AIBU to go around and either a) find out what the fuck it is that requires 16 hours worth of hammering to drive it in to the wall, b)confiscate his hammer and provide him with an inflatable mallet instead or c)To strategically position my 9 year old with his recorder and get him to practise Jingle Bells?

you could start by calling round to ask what's going on and how much longer he will be. Your Local Authority will have regulations about the hours one is allowed to have building work done, so if it continues you need to find out what these house are.
More worryingly, if he is doing DIY on a party wall and you have been told nothing about it, it might affect your house.
Go and talk first to see what he has to say, but if I were you I would be contacting your local Authority tomorrow to see what regs your neighbour might be breaking, not just in terms of sound but in contravention of planning permission.

Definitely option (b). For comedy value, consider replacing it with an alternative inflatable item of your choice.

We had a mystery DIYer once. It went on for years - hammering at the weekends. Mum said they were building an ark. We never did find out what the hell they were doing.

Can she play 'If I had a hammer '??

I don't mean to alarm you but a guy down the road from my parents when I was growing up did in fact build a boat inside his house

Only opened the thread to see if I was the neighbour .

Seems not (this time).

I feel a bit guilty now, it has gone deathly quiet

Windy, can barely play Jingle Bells hence the draw of the solution!

Haha @Grambler that is brilliant! Any reason why?!

Because he could? I vaguely remember it getting craned out and then he built the rest in the garden, it didn't actually spend much time in the river - he was constantly tinkering with it in the garden for years.

Option c would be my choice...accompanied by tone deaf sibling singing the words at the top of their voice, especially the "hey" bit, over and over and over again.

Maybe he's read something about climate change and is actually building an ark. If that's the case, don't go with option c, because he might let you on the boat when the rains come down and the floods go up.
Are there two of every animal marching into his house? That'd be a dead giveaway!

Maybe he is installing sound proofing.

Teach her the Beatles' (well, Paul McCartney's) Maxwell's Silver Hammer.

No question.
Send in the kid.

Option C definitely with what @danmthatonestakentryanotheer said. Genius

@DontCallMeShitley

Maybe he is installing sound proofing.

Great minds think a like!!🤣🤣

Posting here seems to have done the trick..I will keep the ace up my sleeve (child wielding recorder) for next time

And sound proofing would be lush! I am sure for both us and NDN!

Whereabouts in the country are you OP? If close enough I could nip round with my saxophone, which I play, badly...