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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to be cross with everyone

24 replies

MrsDoolittle · 14/08/2007 15:41

Okay it was an informal invitation (6 weeks ago), that was because it depended largely on the weather. But I did post one out to everyone.
This Saturday is my birthday, dh wouldn't do anything especially, so I thought I could arrange a get together and bbq.
No one can come. "It's because it August" is the usual reply. They are all reasonable excuses, weddings or holidays, but I'm still sad

I can't help but feel a little sorry for myself. I have trying to think up other ideas to do but dh is glued to his lap top. And I hate myself for whinging.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 14/08/2007 15:42

aww mrsD
is there anything on at the cinema youd like to see?
going to the cinema on your own is underrated IMO

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 14/08/2007 15:44

tempting.

I haven't been in so long I wouldn't know what was on.

OP posts:

nailpolish · 14/08/2007 15:45

just check online mrsD!

Fimbo · 14/08/2007 15:50

I would go and stay in a 5* hotel for the night and be pampered. (am seriously considering this for my 40th (yikes) in January)

GoingThroughChanges · 14/08/2007 15:51

What age are you?

If it is a special birthday don't be surprised that everyone is busy

For my 21st, dh & I hadn't long moved into our new home & I arranged for everyone to come & visit that night. I said I would make sandwiches & we'd have cake etc... basically just a drinking session with food to soak up the excess!

Anyway, my sister called & said not to make food, her & my other sis were going to make it & bring it with them! My brother called & said not to buy any booze as he & my other brothers were bringing it! My SIL told me she would make desserts so not to buy a cake..... I was thrilled that everyone was doing something!!

Anyway, the evening of my birthday my dh presented me with the most stunning bracelet I have ever seen.. I called MIL who lives about 50feet away & she said to come over & show her! So we opened a bottle of wine & as we were in her front room I didn't see any of my guests arrive!!! I lost track of time & MIL was drunk anyway, so my dh rang & told me everyone had arrived & to come up home!

When I got home no-one had made anything I was full drunk My make-up was all over my face & I had spilled wine on my trousers

THEN they told me they had arranged a surprise party at the local hotel!

So there was me, one eye looking at the other, trying to act sober........

Fimbo · 14/08/2007 15:51

(by myself)

frumpygrumpy · 14/08/2007 15:52

And if its not a special birthday, you aren't being unreasonable. Surely someone could take charge, grab a takeaway and drag you over to their house to say cheers.

nailpolish · 14/08/2007 15:56

fimbo, cme to Edinburgh and you can stay at the Balmoral and we can meet and drink
(cant believ eyou wll be 40 )

Fimbo · 14/08/2007 15:58

Ok, I am game if you are!

Sil had her wedding reception there (twas year before I met dh, just my luck!)

nailpolish · 14/08/2007 16:00

fimbo i owuld love that
get it booked!

cardy · 14/08/2007 16:02

I understand. It's my dd's birthday at the weekend and out of 20 invitees to her party only 7 can come. We originally had 10 say yes but since last week 3 have pulled out. I do feel sorry for her (and you).

Tell DH how you feel, he might make a fantactic suggestion...or take you on a surprize night out.

rebelmum1 · 14/08/2007 16:12

I had a crap bday too if it helps. I couldn't get a babysitter, it was a wednesday dh had a lot on at work and said we'd do something at the weekend. He came down with gastric flu and it was a damp squib. I had 3 cards! I hadn't told anyone really just the hairdresser who gave me a discount. I'm planning a weekend away with a friend instead in a spa in sept to make up for it.

rebelmum1 · 14/08/2007 16:13

It's awful it's like being transported back to being a child again (sob).

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 14/08/2007 20:27

Thanks Ladies
Being transported back to being a child again describes it exactly! So part of me is terribly embarrassed that I am so disappointed.
It's not a sepcial birthday - I am 34, it's just it fell on a Saturday so it felt worth doing something.

Everyone says reschedule it for later but I'm not going to reschedule my own party.

Nevermind, I'll get over it.

I do feel sorry for your daughter though rebelmum. These things are soooo important when you are that age. I remember my Mum planning a surprise pyjama party for me when I was about 12, same problem, only 1 came.

It's very disappointing. One can't help but think people don't really like you as much as you'd like to think

OP posts:

Original poster

MrsDoolittle · 14/08/2007 20:28

Sorry - I meant cardy's daughter

OP posts:

madame · 14/08/2007 20:36

why don't you have a carpet party, just you and dh. Buy loads of your favourite food, champagne on ice, make a fire or light lots of candles. Chill out and just tell dh he needs to buy you something beautiful and indulgent.

happyhat · 14/08/2007 21:06

mrsd totally relate, bday is just after new year, everyone is always skint and hardly anyone can come out. same every year, but always depressing. you deserve a big pampering sesh.

PatsyCline · 14/08/2007 21:26

I do think that a lot of people have made late plans to are flee the country owing to the horrible weather.

My birthday is August too - even worse as it is on the Bank Holiday weekend. I thought about having big bash (I will be 40) but realised that I was just setting myself up for a disappointing turn out.

I've decided to do several lovely, low key things rather than having one enormous 'bash'.

Give your friends another chance to show you that they do love you.

Patsy
x

PatsyCline · 14/08/2007 21:42

Oh, Happyhat - you have confirmed my worst fears for my DD1. She was born on Jan 3rd which is great while she's little. Her friends are off school, sick of their parents and really up or a good party, but I don't think we'll get the same response ten years down the line when they're all partied out and detoxing...

derah · 14/08/2007 21:52

Oh, MrsDoolittle, I know just how you feel. I guess I'm just not very popular cos no-one ever turns up to my birthday bashes, and usually don't even bother to say they're not coming.

"it's August" is a pretty lame excuse though. Decide what you want to do, inform DH that it will be happening and go out and do it. Or round up a girlie mate or two and go for a girl's night out to drown your sorrows.

geoRGEEweasley · 14/08/2007 22:17

I always used to think August was a great time for a birthday, what with brilliant sunshine and bbqs (in this weather ). My birthday is early Jan so no one could be bothered / afford to come out and I used to feel miserable.

But birthdays are important to me and I guess to you too MrsD. Agree with everyone else that you should go out and get rat ar$ed, get a great pampering session or give DH clear instructions on what you both will be doing.

I would come over but am off to a wedding....

DD's birthday is New Year's Eve. Can't decide if this is a good or a bad thing.

hippipotami · 14/08/2007 23:59

August is a crap time for a birthday. Ds will be 8 on Friday, and we have organised a party for him. We invited 20 of his friends. Even though 14 have said they will come, ds's two closest friends and his 'girlfriend' are away. I spent ages before booking the party trying to work out who was going away when, but it just became impossible.

Last year quite a few decided to go on impromptu trips away so I had loads of cancellations the morning of the party. Hope that does not happen this year.

Mrs D - sorry you feel let down. I hope you have a fab day anyway!

KerryMumbledore · 15/08/2007 00:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

dmo · 15/08/2007 08:28

my ds2 birthday is in august too
he has never had a party because of this reason so we always book a holiday to be away on his birthday
we are off to spain for 2 weeks on saturday so he will have a spanish birthday

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